Oh girl, we're parents!

Movie Project - Day 46: Willow

2012-01-09T12:00:00.000-07:00

Moving into something a bit more adventurous, the other night we watched the 1988 classic, Willow. This movie is truly remarkable and quite the mishmash of actors, producers, and directors that works very well. I'm sure if this movie was made today they would try to make two or three sequels, but this was back in the day when people would make a movie, be happy with it, then move onto something else.

There are times I miss those days.

The movie's plot is common enough: Evil Overlord looking to take over the land and quell the one person that has been prophesied to destroy her. Common man takes the task that has been more or less forced upon him, and encounters willy and wacky folk to add to his party as he journeys to fulfill his quest.

So if the story's been heard before, why is it something worth hearing again? Perhaps it's because of the lavish atmosphere of the world created. Or it could be the balance of character development and comedy. The practical uses of magic and prominent use of melee weaponry. Maybe because I have some very strong memories of watching this movie with my step-brother, whom I have not seen nor talked to in years. In the end, I believe it's because the story hits the right points with the right intensity.

The biggest draw for this movie is the fact the heroes aren't people that are born and bred for greatness. Willow, the main protagonist, is a simple farmer and loving father just trying to keep his household in order. He makes mistakes, he has fears, and he has dreams. While not everyone would aspire to be a magician, it's still admirable that he never gives up, even when his best trick goes awry during a performance.

On a side note, the actor who played Willow, Warwick Davis, has become more well know for his role as Professor Flitwick in the Harry Potter series. Just goes to show just how far Willow Ufgood went in his career as a sorcerer!

An evil overlord taking over the world and those that are trying to stop this from happening make up the bulk of the story, but the movie also touches on the lives of the ordinary people that wouldn't know much about what was going on, and are happy to be that way. They live their lives, drink their ale, do their jobs, but in large don't react very strongly to what's going on.

Of all the action packed parts of this movie, one element and one event stood out for my daughter. First and foremost, she loved the horses. There were horses in pretty much every part of the movie. Ponies, stallions, mares, cart horses, almost any kind of horse you can imagine. Well, they never perform the RCMP Musical Ride. And they don't have the Lipizaner Stallions featured either. They still have a lot of horses!

Then her most favourite part of the movie was, without a doubt, the sledding. At one point, Willow escapes from an mountain enemy camp by sledding down the mountain side on a shield. I'm still amazed how they were able to shoot that scene. Then Mad Mardigan, played by Val Kilmer, falls off the shield/sled, tumbles down the mountain, and winds up rolled into a massive pile of snow. It's quite funny watching this pile of snow, with a pair of feet sticking out, come rolling down the hill.

For its time, it was quite the landmark in filmmaking, and it was produced by George Lucas. While this is not Star Wars, it certainly has enough to stand on its own. A modern classic and a lot of fun, but be warned, there are some scary parts that might scare little ones. Of course, I've also shown my daughter Toy Story 3, Nightmare Before Christmas, and Coraline. I think she's used to scary by now.

Either that, or I better start saving now for the therapy bills.

The Beginning of a Beautiful Relationship

2012-01-08T23:06:00.000-07:00

Over the holidays, my wife got the idea to go the Telus World of Science Edmonton since I had the time available. We also got the idea to get an annual family pass, since we do enjoy going there. We don't go very often though, and I wondered if it would be a wise investment to purchase the pass. After some calculations, I concluded that we would only have to attend three times withing the year and the pass would have paid for itself. I further concluded that the reason we don't go very often is because of the expense, and we only go when we can spend the entire day there in order to get the best value for our dollar.

Even with that information in hand, I was nervous and second guessing myself as we were standing in line at the Box Office to purchase the passes. While the passes would cover our admission for the day we were there, we were spending three times what we usually would! After the initial shock of the amount of money I had just spent, we went on to enjoy the Science Center.

We went through most everything like we usually do, and the new kids Discovery area was quite the treat!

At the end of it all, Rini of course didn't want to leave. But with the passes in hand, we reassured her that we would be able to return again soon.

In a bit of unusual turn of events, I stayed true to my word, and we went again this past Saturday, even though we were only there for an hour.

Unlike our previous visit, we only went to two of the four galleries, and didn't set foot in the Discovery area, let alone the second floor. We did catch the tail end of the fire demonstration, for which Rini went and sat front row. I was quite taken in by the isoproponol/lightsaber demonstration!

Although we were only there for an hour, I found it to be very fulfilling, and I'm thinking that we could do these outings every week! I am eagerly looking forward to the next time we go.

And it will definitely be before the Star Wars exhibit comes.

A New Christmas Classic

2011-11-06T23:34:00.001-07:00

Carving Angels by Diane Tolley
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Much like how the weather changes in Alberta, ofttimes our lives don't quite turn out the way we think it would. Such is the case in this wonderful Christmas story, "Carving Angels."

The story is told through the blind eyes of a woodcarver, who was once the lead carver in his shop but has chosen retirement with his loss of sight. Ten years have passed since he put away his tools and now he's spends his days waiting. Waiting for breakfast, waiting for lunch, waiting for supper, and waiting to go to bed in order to do it all over again. The only enjoyment he receives is visits from his granddaughter who was born 4 years ago.

She makes a bold move and asks him to carve something for her, as she has never seen him work, just as he has never seen her face. Initially refusing, he decides to accept the challenge and attempts to make something of the block of wood that she brought him to shape and form as only a master can. The passion to create comes alight once more, and he in turn teaches her the woodworking skills that have served him well.

The timing of this renaissance could not have come at a better time, because their partnered skills serve the community in a way that no one imagined possible, and changes the entire community for the better.

I will be the first to admit that this story made me cry three times while reading, and I'm not in the least bit ashamed to admit it. It is a powerful message about the human spirit, and how you can never give up on people, but most importantly how you can never give up on yourself.

While the woodcarver was not the ideal image of a artist, since he had long lost his sight, he still knew his trade. He still knew how to work a piece of wood, how to choose the right piece, and most importantly he was able to determine what needed to be brought out of the wood. Though his blindness was a significant hindrance, he didn`t allow it to define who he was.

I cannot recommend this book highly enough. It's a story that you will want to have in your home and read again and again.

View all my reviews
Although the author of this work is my mother-in-law, please understand that I am not writing this review under duress, nor do I feel this is a display of nepotism to tout this marvelous story. I read this book over a month ago when I purchased my copy directly from the author, but I only wrote the review now because I spent part of yesterday selling the book at a local Arts and Crafts fair. By the end of the day, I found that I had told a rather concise review to everyone I met. I'm not sure if it was my salesmanship that helped matters, or just my strong love for the story, but it was a joy just to tell people about this great story.

Physical disabilities are much more difficult to live with and/or hide from the world, and I have seen people work with what they have been given and make a fruitful life out of it. I have my own disability, and it has long been something that hold secret because of the stigmas associated with it. After reading this book, I found myself with a renewed sense of worth. It may be difficult to function some days, but I know that I have a family that loves me and needs me, despite my shortcomings, and that's enough to keep me going.

Just as I said in my review, I cannot recommend this book highly enough.

Upgrade time

2011-07-29T23:53:00.002-06:00

Over the past few weeks, I have struggled to make amends with a mistake that I made. I tried to upgrade my wife's netbook, affectionately known as Dory. This computer was named after the little blue fish in Finding Nemo, simply because it was little, and blue. Little did we know how close to the mark we were with the name.

For the six people out there who have not seen this masterful film, the character Dory suffers from acute short term memory loss, like all fish would. This is also something that we found Dory, the computer, became prone to the same malady. There were times when the web browser would crash for reasons unknown, then go on as if nothing happened. We couldn't use the touch pad, because we discovered that she would forget how to boot up if you did that. Then after three years the battery started to give out, and would only last for about 45 minutes from it's original battery life of 2 hours.

Added to this, the netbook was an early version, and was running Linpus Lite. A Linux OS that was very tightly locked down. I finally figured out how to access the root, only to discover the OS had been abandoned for at least two years. All updates, even browser updates, could not be done through the OS. Yet I felt there was a way to get the Firefox updated to Version 3.6 and I tried my best to do so.

This is when I discovered that I don't know Linux very well.

In my efforts to figure out how to upgrade the browser, I had to move some files. Where I moved them to, I'm still not sure. Neither is Dory, and now will not run the web browser because of this. I wasn't sure what I did, but I knew it was bad. Oh, the writer still worked, and the Mplayer would still work when it felt like it, but the one program we used the most was done.

Most people would throw up their hands and give up, but I had a feeling that I could get Dory working again. After learning how to make a boot stick, because Dory doesn't have an optical drive, I installed Ubuntu 10.10 Maverick Netbook Remix. Firefox was functional, and on a recent update! Life was good! Until I tried to use the wireless...

While the main driver was Atheros, it was not recognizing the AR5006ES wifi card. It was looking for a AS5001 card. I found madwifi, and had hope that it would work, but after the installation and recompiling the kernel, I had to throw my hands up and call it quits. I had given it a good honest try, and Dory is still a good little internet terminal. So long as you're not trying to do anything too complicated, or busy, or twitter, or would be better with a larger screen or better resolution. And given that if you're going to be using her for longer than 40 minutes, you should be close to an outlet, or else the computer would die.

In hindsight, I'm surprised this day didn't come sooner.

Lack of functional wifi was the last straw, and it was time to scout out a replacement for little Dory.

And search I did. At first I was strongly considering purchasing a Galaxy Tab. Small, compact, cute, and runs Android 2.2 with great competence. What more could you ask for?

What about novel writing?

Dory would still be able to carry out that responsibility, since OpenOffice still functions decently, but if Caitlin would want to novel as well, then we're in a bit of a bind. True, a bluetooth keyboard would solve that ordeal, but iPaq still functions well for an eReader.

Then I did some thinking. Did I really want a tablet, netbook, laptop, or a smartphone?

First world problems.

After some deliberation, I came to the conclusion that while a touch pad interface would be excellent, and an iPad would make use of the app that Caitlin purchased by accident, there was a far better solution, which cost wound up being about the same as a top of the line iPad2. For quite some time I was looking into getting Caitlin a Wacom tablet in order to help with digital art, especially since she's developed a healthy interest in Gimp as of late.

Plus it is our anniversary, and our 100th monthavesary is coming up soon too. It's going to be a boring holiday season...

But where did we get the money for all this? Well, the government finally discovered that we added Bronwyn to our family nearly eleven months ago, and they paid us all the back payments on the tax benefits we should have been receiving. So this isn't so much a treat for us, but for our girls!

At least that's what I'm going to keep telling myself every time I boot up Olivia, which is the name of the laptop that I purchased to replace Dory, and Iris (our desktop) to an extent. While it's not exactly a desktop replacement, it outperforms our desktop on most every scale. Six times as much RAM, hard drive with sixteen times the capacity, higher resolution screen output, and HD compatibility.

But why the name Olivia? First, Memory Express had a TRON:Legacy keyboard on display, so I had that on my mind. Second, one of the actresses in said movie is Olivia Wilde, also did a great job on House, M.D. and I'm eager to see how she does in Cowboys & Aliens this weekend. Third, the name Olivia is nice, and we haven't reserved it for any of our daughters.

So far, so good. But I admit that it's going to take a bit of getting used to to figure out the Windows Live Movie Maker. With the hardware that Olivia has, I'm thinking it shouldn't be that tough. Just have to get used to the minimal GUI, or purchase some more heavy duty software.

Dory, you're an adorable little netbook and you still have your uses, but it was time for something a little more up to date with a bit more guts under the hood.

Welcome Olivia!

Six Eyed Reviews: Winnie the Pooh

2011-07-24T02:15:00.002-06:00

A new project that I've been working on with a friend of mine has been a video review series. The most recent installment featured my daughter, as she came along with us to see Disney's latest release Winnie the Pooh. We have another movie lined up for review this Wednesday, so I'll be sure to include that one here as well.

In the mean time, enjoy!

Calgary Comic Expo 2011

2011-06-21T21:41:00.003-06:00

The 2011 Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo marked the fourth time Caitlin and I have attended, Rini's third, and Bronwyn's first! We had our hands full for the past few months putting together our entries for the Costume Contest, hence the lack of posts. Thought it was a massive amount of effort, a substantial amount of money, and countless hours to get it all together, we had an absolute blast and are already planning for next year.

The Expo is a two-fold event for our family. Not only do we get to cosplay and meet some celebrities, but we also get to visit with my sisters and their families. This year we went down earlier, and spent a bit more time with them. Although we don't live that far away, the expo is about the only time that we get to visit at all.

This event has begun to be a bit of a family tradition for us. Every year I've gone with Rini, we get a picture with R2-D2. Originally, I wanted to get a picture with just R2 and Rini, but the first year she was too scared to be near him by herself. Now, the both of us crowd in the shot without a second thought. In hindsight, I should have got a picture with Bronwyn as well, but she's only nine months old right now! Back in 2008, when Caitlin and I went by ourselves, and left Rini in the care of my sister, she was just over a year old. The next year, Rini was walking around. The year after, she wanted to be in the stroller all the time. This year, it was a bit of both.

We didn't attend many panels this year due to having our girls with us, but there was one panel I was determined to go to, Cartoon Voices 1. I wanted to go to the second one, but we slept in and there was no room by the time I got there. Despite William Shatner and Jonathan Frakes in attendance, I really wanted to see the panel with Jess Harnel, Maurice LaMarche, and Rob Paulson. I seem more drawn to the voice actors, because two years ago, I was bent on attending the panel with Scott McNeil regarding voice acting.

I was very grateful to have attended Cartoon Voices 1, because they talked about how they create characters and stay competitive. Borrowing voices is not a bad thing, oftimes the actors they borrow them from aren't using them anymore! At the end of the panel, Rob Paulson told a story about a child he met with Muscular Dystrophy. The kid asked for an autograph, but Rob didn't have anything with him at the time. But he was wearing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles jacket, as he was doing the voice of Raphael in the original series at the time. He took off his jacket, signed it, and gave it to him. Later on he discovered that this same kid was so attached to the jacket that he refused to go into surgery without it, such to the point the hospital staff sterilized the jacket, put it in a plastic bag and had it in the OR during the operation!

But that's not the end of the story. The doctors expected that he would only have a year or two left to live, not much longer past fourteen years old. But he still had that jacket, and everyone in the room could attest to that, BECAUSE HE WAS IN THE AUDIENCE. Rob finished the story with the simple but powerful statement, "You can't tell me it's just cartoons."

I wish that I had some time to talk to him, or at least listen in on the conversation that Rob had with him after the panel. The only thing I heard as I was exiting the room was when Rob told him, "Meeting you changed my life."

The rest of Saturday was spent in the Costume Contest, which I will talk about tomorrow. For now, I need sleep. Didn't get much of that over the weekend!

Next year, I think I might book off Friday and Monday. Friday to travel; Monday to recover.

Movie Project - Day 45: Tron (1982)

2011-05-13T12:00:00.000-06:00

I have officially run out of excuses not to do another blog post. My back has recovered to the point that I can get around without my brace, I have recovered from my cold, and most importantly, I have a new job! I'm going to get back on the New Year's resolution bandwagon, and try to post something every day, whether it be a movie project or a Bite a time review. I'll have to revisit the Bite at a Time movies, because I actually talk to my coworkers during lunch now! Eh, I'll figure something out.

Back to the subject at hand, the 1982 cult classic, computer assisted Disney film Tron. To be honest, I did things a little backwards and showed her Tron:Legacy before watching the original with her. Add that to my running list of other parental mistakes.

To my amazement, she sat through the entire movie. I'm happy to say my little girl enjoyed this nostalgic marvel, but I'm not sure why she was so entranced. I would love to watch it again with her, but everytime I suggest it, she insists on watching Tron:Legacy instead.

One moment that I watched three times - once by myself, twice to call Caitlin's attention what I saw, and the third time was due to Rini's request to see it again - was when Tron and Flynn meet up again on the Solar Sailor. There is a wide shot where there is a "hidden Mickey" in the background. It takes up the entire background, so you have to be watching for it, but once you see it, it's hard to miss!

One key difference between Tron and its sequel is the floating little character known as "Bit." While it only ever says yes or no, Rini thought it was quite cute! She hasn't been mimicking the lines like she does with other movies, but it brought a smile to her face when the character came on screen.

Yet, she might have just been excited about the Recognizer, which is one of the scenes where the Bit appears. Rini did enjoy the Lightcycles, but she thought it was hilarious when Flynn was running into walls and columns with the recognizer. I'll admit, the sound effects did add an over the top comedic vibe.

For its day, Tron was a breakthrough in computer animation. It didn't have the most engaging story, yet with this movie, it wasn't trying to be a movie to be remembered for the captivating dialogue or character depth. Tron catered to the geek community from the Ring Game down to the "Gort Klattu Barada Nikto" banner in Alan Bradley's cubicle. It was a milestone in computer graphic design and has provided fuel for the creative fires of current CG artists, including John Lasseter.

Does that mean we're going to be watching Tron again in the near future? Not until Rini gets her fill of Tron:Legacy.

It might be a while.

Creative Physio

2011-03-08T21:30:00.002-07:00

Today was an adventure, yet for most people it would just be an ordinary day. I drove to work and was there for the full day. Afterwards, I stopped by the mall, dropped off some mail that was missed in the pickup, sauntered around, then got some milk.

To anyone else, that would be a very boring day. For me, it was rejuvenating. That car trip marked the first time I had got behind the wheel of a car for over two weeks. It felt amazing to have that freedom again, and to not worry about being an inconvenience to anyone. I know that my father-in-law didn't mind doing the carpool thing with me, but it really helps in the long run that I can get about on my own. Not only can I pilot the vehicle to get myself around, I can also drive my family around too. Caitlin and I will be able to attend the Arrogant Worms concert on Friday regardless if my brother-in-law will be able to attend. Though I hope he does feel good enough to attend, but since he's going in for surgery tomorrow, it's anyone's guess.

Also walking around the mall, that was something of a workout, since I did it without the brace. Driving was done sans brace too, since the doctor formally told me that I could not drive while wearing the brace. On that note, he also said that I should spend some time out of the brace to strengthen my muscles. Put two and two together, and I am ambulatory! That's not to say it was a completely painless experience. I paused in stores here and there, but most of the time I tried to keep moving so that I wouldn't have a moment to focus on the pain.

I could take some T3 medication to deal with the pain, but the damage it did to my stomach, I don't want to take the risk. And while it does hurt, I know that I'm working at getting better. Plus, it's only been two days since I've tried venturing around without the brace, and while I was at work, I had it on. Made the work day a little bit easier to deal with.

Movie review to come soon. I know I said I was going to try to steer my daughter away from Disney movies, but she has been reading a children's storybook of Cinderella, and Grandma figured it was high time Erini saw the movie the book was based on.

Cure Almost Worse Than Disease

2011-03-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

This is not to say that I have a debilitating illness, but rather my appointment today gave me a bit more freedom than my body is accustomed to. After wearing the back brace almost exclusively for the past two weeks, I tried getting around without it for the evening. I am now filled will all sorts of pain, largely located in the lower back, but I'm working my way through it.

We have the treadmill working, and Erini tried to do a bit of physio with me, but she almost fell on her face on the treadmill. Good thing the emergency switch works! She saw the support bar and figured that you had to hold onto it for it to work properly. I have a bit of work ahead of me to explain to her that treadmills are not like shopping carts.

While we did take in a movie tonight, my rehabilitation has drained my will to type much more than I have already. I have enough energy left for a shower, and that's about it.

At least I was able to get something out, and at least I was able to do it without the brace. I'm making progress! Painful progress, but it's going forward!

Movie Project - Day 44: Despicable Me

2011-03-06T12:00:00.000-07:00

When you watch something like Despicable Me, you need to have two things in mind. First, this movie is incredibly silly and does not take itself very seriously, and second, the old guy is NOT Eric Idle. With that in mind, my daughter is not familiar with Monty Python (yet!) and I have yet to see her take a movie seriously. In short, she thought it was very funny.

Since we watched this at home, and not in 3D, a few of the scenes did not have the same impact that they would have in 3D, such as when Gru lands the spaceship, or the rollercoaster ride. Some of those shots were pure 3D grabs, and in 2D it doesn't play as well. The story still shines through, and there is a story worth watching beneath all the crazy effects and jokes.

Being a father, I could understand some of Gru's frustrations in trying to get work done and being plagued with the incessant demands of those three girls. My girls are still quite young, and I can wait just fine until they reach the ages of the girls in the film. Erini didn't really relate to the girls that much, because she was too busy laughing at the minions.

The best comparison for those little yellow creatures with prehensile appendages, would be some sort of cousin to the Raving Rabbids only a bit more organized. Only a little though.

DESPICABLE ME: Movie Trailer 4. Watch more top selected videos about: Despicable Me, Movie Trailers

The version we watched was DVD, and the Blu-ray has more special features, such as three shorts starring the minions. And a banana. Not too sure about the details on that, but I'm told it's hilarious.

If it can be believed, we don't own a copy of this, nor do Grandma and Grandpa. It was my brother-in-law from whom we borrowed their copy, and previous to that I rented it from a local rental outlet. However, after watching it again this past week, I think we might look into acquiring a copy of it. We need to get settled in our new place, and that will involve finding a new bed for our daughter. Kijiji stiffed me on that, but we're still looking.

Movie Project - Day 43: Toy Story 3

2011-03-05T12:00:00.002-07:00

Seems like some time since I wrote about a movie I watched with my daughter, but I blame all those pain medications I was on. I'm at home, and I took some time to sit with my daughter and watch a movie that had previously given her nightmares, or so was the opinion circulating the household. Whether Erini truly did have trouble sleeping due to the movie or other circumstances, I don't know. What I do know is that after she watched this movie with me, she slept through the night without a peep. I would say the night troubles are over regarding this movie.

Not to say that there are some frightening parts, and not to say that everyone would feel comfortable watching this movie with their children. All I am saying is that I was very glad I watched this with Erini, and I was able to hold her during the scary parts. The parts I think she had issues with were: the garbage truck, the "libary" scene, and the incinerator. All those things were mentioned to me at one point or another in between our viewing in November 2010 and this past week. My daughter remembers her movies quite well, like her parents, and viewing movies with her mommy and daddy will help build good memories of good film.

The other thing I love doing with Pixar movies in general - and Erini has gotten in on it too - is going through the "Pixar Checklist." In every movie, a few things are present. One thing that my daughter has started to take notice is the Pizza Planet truck. She will get up and point it out whenever it appears in most all Pixar movies, though some movies it's quite hard to see eg. Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, and Up. But she always says, "The Pizza Planet truck is in Bug's Life!" That one is a bit easier to see and the same shot is used in Monsters Inc. ("Mama! Another 'gator got in the house!" "Another 'gator? Gimme that shovel!") Next, we're going to work on pointing out John Ratzenburger and A113.

Most all scary movies that Erini has watched, I've watched with her, and she enjoys them, and they don't bother her. Just having her daddy near her when she's scared tends to help her deal with the concept of fright. I haven't quite figured out why. It could be my baritone voice that has a soothing effect or some other facet of masculinity that I don't realize I'm displaying. Whatever it is, she does well, when I watch a movie with her.

That being said, I did watch Toy Story 3 with her the first time she watched it. The second time she saw it, I wasn't there, and that's when the sleep trouble started. Perhaps there is an exception to every circumstance, and this is no different.

Movies a Bite at a Time #4 - Jesus Camp

2011-03-03T12:00:00.001-07:00

As I mentioned yesterday, I am currently healing from an L1 burst fracture, aka broken back. I was only in the hospital for four days, yet the amount of time that I was awake and coherent enough to watch this movie was very short indeed. Caitlin actually brought eight or nine movies for me to watch, but with all the drugs I was on, and the physiotherapy I was working through to get home when I did, I barely had enough time to finish watching Jesus Camp.

It was a very interesting documentary to watch in the hospital, and I really hope that I didn't disturb my roommates too much. Mind one guy never said a word to me, another guy barely spoke at all, and the third guy was watching his television with his headphones in most of the time. If anyone was annoyed with the "Hallelujah!" and "Praise Jesus!" that was coming from Toshi, they never told me.

I like to consider myself a religious person. I have a strong belief and testimony in Jesus Christ and his sacrifice for us all. But I also believe in personal agency. We all have the power within us to chose what we believe, and to chose whether that belief is right or wrong. For that reason, I strongly believe in a division between church and state, and I don't believe that people should be forced to believe what I do.

At the beginning of the film, a children's Pastor Becky Fisher is interviewed, and she states that she wants to prepare today's children to be Christian soliders, just like Muslims are training their children for Jihad. That sent a very cold chill through me. Some of these children were eight or nine years old, some as old as twelve, but there were all very vocal and firm in their faith.

I've met religious people all over the spectrum. Baptists, Orthodox, Catholic, Muslim, Jehovah's Witness, the list goes on. Living in various cities across the country will do that. The fact is there are good people wherever you go, and there is also insanely passionate people wherever you go. What was presented in Jesus Camp was the closest thing I could categorize to Christian Extremism, and it was a scary thing to see. What was further frightening is that these kids are going to grow up and be a part of the adult community one day. Teaching people to love one another and bear one another's burdens that they may be light, that's a good thing to teach children. Winding children up in a flurry of passionate faith to the point that they'll believe anything makes me wonder how wars will be fought twenty years from now.

Being a father and a patriarch to my family are responsibilities that I still struggle with. Sometimes I can't believe that I'm a daddy, but it's not a matter of belief. I know I'm a father, and my girls are growing up faster than I want them to. The best I can do is adhere to Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child the way he should go: and when he is old, he shall not depart from it.

Teaching children at a young age is the best thing you can do, but more than that, you need to show them that you care for them. Seems I'm making things up as I go along when it comes to parenting, but I do try to instill important ideas in my daughter's mind. Saying prayers and brushing teeth are still a bit of a battle, and I'm sure she won't remember the exact words to a certain prayer fifteen years from now, but I hope she'll remember saying prayer with her family, and will continue to do so on her own.

Would I watch Jesus Camp with Erini? I'm not even sure if I could watch it again with Caitlin. Perhaps my memories of the movies are tainted from all the morphine I was taking in the hospital. Stupid drugs.

Tomorrow: Movie Project continues with facing a nightmare. And winning!

We're rebuilding!

2011-03-02T22:42:00.006-07:00

Might seem odd, and it might seem a little cliche, but there has been a bit of a dearth of postings because I injured myself. A poor excuse, because I broke my back, and I can still write with a netbook on my stomach. It's not like I broke my arms, hands, and fingers. I only broke one bone. L1 vertebra, burst fracture. Most common snowmobiling injury, but every now and again you see it with tobogganing.

I'm working on a full story of the break, the hospital stay, and the triumphant return home. I'll be posting it on my "passion" blog once it's complete.

In the mean time, my bone is knitting itself back together again, and I need to take it easy.

More reviews to come. For now, I need some sleep.

Daddy Presents... #1 - Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus!

2011-02-21T12:00:00.001-07:00

As entertaining as movies, music, and video games can be, sometimes Erini prefers to sit with me and read some good books. Such was the case tonight with a couple of her cousins over for dinner and a visit. Right as the evening was winding down, I picked up Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus by Mo Willems, and Erini jumped up beside me.

The book is a very simple read, and provides an interactive element for the reader. The titular Pigeon is quite the talkative bird and presents some compelling arguments to let him ride the bus. My daughter enjoys the parts where the pigeon is very frustrated, and there's no words, but rather a black charcoal smudge. When we get to that part, I do a deep throaty growl, and she giggles to no end at that. Her next favourite part is when the Pigeon gets very flustered and screams and shouts and the words look like they have a graffiti design to them. I shout the words and wave the book an inch from her face when we get to that part, and she thinks that hilarious too!

DON'T LET THE PIGEON DRIVE THE BUS: Movie Trailer. Watch more top selected videos about: DON'T LET THE PIGEON DRIVE THE BUS

It's hard to say if that was quality time or not, but it was a certain quantity of time. And that's what I've come to learn doing this blog. I try not to worry if the time spent with my daughter is quality or quantity, because to her it's enough that I spent time with her.

Intermission #2 - Coldest Move To Date

2011-02-20T12:00:00.002-07:00

I can't say today was the worst move I've ever done - that would be when I moved during a rainstorm, and the rain cleared up after we were done - today was actually quite nice after I noticed a few things. First, we had no stairs to deal with. We're on the third floor, but there was an elevator. There were some issues with the elevator making the most annoying sound in the world when the Open Door button was held for longer than 15 seconds, but at least we were able to unload the pod in two hours, and everything was in the apartment about 45 minutes later.

Second, it was cold and slippery, but we had some tobogganing sleds that we were able to use to bring stuff from the pod to the building door! Made it much easier and fun!

Third, I was ever so happy that I got Caitlin some new boots yesterday, because she was working harder and moving faster than I've seen in some time. Maybe since we went snowshoeing, but that wasn't very fast. The new boots were Merrells similar to the pair I've been wearing for the past five years. They are very warm, very comfortable, and the most important part for my wife, they have very good ankle support. While I paid $150 for mine, I also got the pair at Sportchek West Edmonton Mall. Caitlin's I got significantly cheaper for $18.99 at Value Village. It looked like someone wore them for a couple of days then donated them. I couldn't believe my luck when I found them! Not sure if I'll ever find something like that again, but that's Value Village for you.

My guess is we'll have our first overnight stay in the new apartment will be about this time next week. Depending on how quickly we can unpack everything, or at the very least get the beds set up.

It was rather frightening to see just how many boxes we had, but it was kind of fun at the same time. I imagined that the apartment was a Christmas Tree, and the boxes were presents to which we don't know what's inside, but are pretty sure we're going to like.

May sound trite, but it prevented me from doing something drastic to silence that elevator alarm.

I wonder if Ubisoft has thought of licensing the Rabbid scream to replace klaxon alerts. Just a thought.

Cheat Code #2 - Boom Blox Bash Party

2011-02-19T12:00:00.002-07:00

What do you do when you want to play video games with your kids, but there isn't a game that fits for you and your younglings? If you're Hollywood legend Steven Spielberg, you talk to EA, and coproduce one of the more comically violent and challenging puzzle games to come along in some time. Although this game was released back in Spring 2009, it's still a fun title that I'm sure Erini will be able to understand and play along with soon. The controls are a little tricky for her to figure as of right now, but she really enjoys the number of characters and the general chaos of things exploding.

While some reviews cite that this version has some new features and does not include some of the less than stellar features, this is the only version I have played. The challenge of the level is matched by the variety of tools to destroy the blocks. Colour balls change the colour of blocks allowing for matches of three or more blocks to score points. Once the block disappear, the physics engine takes over. Sometimes the bottom of the playing area is not flat, and sometimes the blocks will land wrong and fall out completely.

The grabbing hand makes for some tricky balancing exercises. At times it feels like Jenga, only with exploding blocks. And sheep. Stupid sheep.

Erini's favourite area is the Pirate Bay, and she quite enjoyed the cannon battles. Yet she kept asking to go to the Parrot section, which involved more blowing things up.

The most fun I ever had playing this game was with my brother-in-law in Calgary. He and I were the only ones in a group of six guys who had played it previously, but it was still a heap of fun. We ventured into a space battle, in which you had a certain amount of bombs to throw in a certain amount of time. Eventually, we got the idea to gang up on one person, but that backfired, since you get bonus bombs if you get hit a significant amount.

We also played a version of mini golf, only it was pucks instead of balls, slingshots instead of clubs, and there were elevators. But you did have to hit a red flag! At first it was a joke. Straight away shot, and boom, 100 points. But it got more and more complicated, you had to judge the power you put into the shot, and hope that the other players were not feeling ruthless.

It's fun when my wife gets in on the action too. She doesn't pick up a controller, but she does give me tips on what to do. Once she figures out the level creator, I'm sure she'll have a ball with it though!

I was most interested in this game when I read an article on That Guy With The Glasses featuring the Top 6 Games to Play on a Date. Most of the games I was quite familiar with, but then the final game mentioned caught my attention with earnest. I can't say that I've had the same experience as detailed in the article, but it is one of the games that I has been a great investment.

Cheat Code #1 - Raving Rabbids: Travel in Time

2011-02-18T12:00:00.004-07:00

This is the third video game review I've done with my daughter's input, and I only now realized that I should have set it up as a separate series. Since I was cheating previously with the movie project by adding in those review to the Movie Project, the title Cheat Code seemed appropriate.

We originally got this game for Grandma and Grandpa Tolley, since it was mentioned that they wanted more multiplayer games for their Wii. Something that everyone could enjoy and the kids could play along too. This game delivers that in spades. This is the kind of game that you could play for hours, or just pick up for fifteen minutes. Setup takes no time at all as the extra players are added in via the washing machine that is capable of creating temporal rifts. It just pops out of nowhere, spits out a Rabbid, and then disappears again. Much like the Rabbids do as they ride this washing machine through time, making a mess of things, or just adding a story that was skipped over in the annals for history.

The entrance to the game is through a bathroom, and upon entering the main area of the museum, a roll of toilet paper gets stuck to the characters foot. I found it quite annoying at first, but when I played co-op for the first time, I saw how important it was. All the players are anchored to this roll of toilet paper, which makes it quite handy when someone doesn't want to go where you want, or in the case of my daughter, doesn't know how to handle the controls very well. You can drag these characters along, and it makes for great comedy!

Most people know the Rabbids for their unique voice, or rather scream. BWAAAAAAHHH! Erini and her cousins always mention this whenever they ask if they can play the game. In this game, that is taken up a notch. There is an area where you can do Rabbid chorus, and the tone is adjusted by rotating the Wiimote clockwise or counterclockwise.

On feature that I liked quite a bit in previous Rabbid games was the dance sequences. While it is featured in this game as well, it's not at all the same, and it seems Ubisoft directly imported some songs from Just Dance 2 into Raving Rabbids. It's still fun having the Rabbids dance to Jungle Boogie, but they take a back seat to the dance steps demonstrated on screen.

A number of mini games are hidden throughout the museum areas, such as a memory game, object chase games, even a bouncing game. The part I had the most difficulty figuring out was the flying. Erini loved it whenever I crashed, so maybe I was doing something right after all!

Some might argue that these games encourage fighting and violence because of the fact you can beat on other Rabbids at pretty much any time, and there is no penalty for it. The same argument could be said for the Looney Toons, but I don't see my daughter running off to hit her cousins with comically large weapons. At least not those that can inflict lethal damage. I would think that I've thought her well enough what is acceptable and what is not.

My daughter and her cousins love this game like none other, and it would be better if they were able to play the game with me instead of just watch. This really is a great party game, and the more people you have the funnier it gets.

That's why I figured it would be ideal for Grandma and Grandpa's house!

Movies a Bite at a Time #3 - Up in the Air

2011-02-17T12:00:00.000-07:00

This movie was ideal for watching at work for the following reasons:
1. It challenges you to figure out what you want in life
2. The language used by the characters was on a level that I would not want my daughter accidentally hearing
3. With the premise of travelling from city to city, it made it easy to find the right moments to stop for the day. Next city, stop.

George Clooney has been lauded for his role as Ryan Bingham, a jet setting business man whose line of work is to fire people. Seems rather harsh, but it's a living, and he does his job exceptionally well. He also does not have anything or anyone tying him down to one place. He has a one bedroom apartment in Omaha, Nebraska, where his company is headquartered, but it has all the amenity and charm of a hotel room. Possibly a hospital room.

When life throws him a curve ball, and the company is thinking of changing their format to videoconferencing, Bingham is faced with the fact he might have to live at one address. Not about to go into the night quietly, he takes one last road trip, showing Natalie Keener (Anna Kendrick) how it's done in the field. Along the way, Bingham hooks up with another jet setter, Alex Goran played by Vera Farmiga. They have romantic encounters from time to time, even inviting her to his sister's wedding, and he starts to think that he could spend his life with her.

The twists and surprises that follow were typical, but done in an unusual manner. It's hard to say if there is a happy ending, because it largely depends on what you call happy. That was the other thing that made this movie fun, yet annoying to watch on Toshi. The unit does not have a runtime clock to indicate how far along you are in the movie. Also, since I was watching the movie in random increments, I lost track how long I had been watching the movie and the player picks up where I left off, so I don't need to go to the chapter menu to get an idea of where I am in the film. I just kept watching until the credits rolled.

Funny, moving, and throwing in a dash of reality just to keep the viewer in bewilderment, this movie delivers some good entertainment. The line that sums up things the best is when Bingham is giving his sister's fiancee some advice to get over his cold feet, "Life's better with company."

How ironic that I watched this movie alone. And still liked it.

Movie Project - Day 42: Super Mario Galaxy

2011-02-16T12:00:00.001-07:00

In view of the past month, I've noticed movies have moved to the forefront, and video games have taken a back seat. Writing this blog does take a bit of time from my day, but that doesn't mean that I have to leave it behind. Also, Erini has been asking to play some games as of late, specifically Super Mario Galaxy. I have not finished the game as yet, but we've both been enjoying the game.

The premise is pretty standard for a Mario game. Bowser comes and kidnaps Princess Peach and Mario has to go rescue her. The twist this time is that Bowser has figured out how to make galaxies with the aid of Grand Stars. These were stolen from an observatory watched over by a mysterious lady known as Rosalina, and there are a number of sentient star forms known as Lumas.

This game works well for playing with Erini, because while it is chiefly a one person adventure game, there is a two player option in which the second player uses the Wiimote to collect and shoot Star bits. This was a little annoying at points, because once she figured out she could shoot stuff, that's all she did, and then the star bits would diminish to nothing. I tried playing with my wife, but whenever Erini saw Caitlin holding the Wiimote, she wanted it back because it was "hers." Oh joy. Should be interesting when she has to share with her sister.

Yet she was able to interact with the game and still enjoy the gameplay, which is challenging for an adventure game. Most games like Wii Sports or Wii Sports Resort work well because of the simple actions to which she can play along. Her favourite is the Samurai Showdown, and I will freely admit it's mine too.

I find it difficult to play this game for longer than an hour or so, mostly because of the 3D spacial navigation. When you're flying from spot to spot, flip upside down, and have limited camera control, it takes a toll on me. I don't get motion sickness as much as I have with first person shooters for PC, but I've learned it's best not to push the limits.

Another reason I wanted to play this game was to get a character unlocked in Mario Kart Wii. I have yet to see if this works or not, but I've read that if you have a Super Mario Galaxy save file on the memory, then it will unlock Rosalina as a playable character.

My wife has been making jewelry of all sorts lately, and some of the beads she picked up looked highly irregular, and almost jagged. The colours were all over the spectrum, but they looked rather familiar.

Caitlin got a Dremmel for Christmas, so she plans on drilling holes and stringing these into some necklaces, bracelets, and earrings. Possibly anklets too, but that's only if she can secure some more of these bits.

Coming soon at an Etsy store near you! As soon as we get it going that is...

Intermission #1 - A Moving Valentine's Day

2011-02-15T12:00:00.001-07:00

Some people love it, other hate it, and then there are those that loathe and despise the 14th of February. No matter your opinion, we all have our way of dealing with it. I choose to look on it as a time to remember love and share it with those you care for most by showering them with affection in the form of gifts and candy. Kind of like Christmas, but without most any religious significance whatsoever.

It's changed a little over the years, and when I became a father it changed a LOT. This time next year I'll probably be working with my daughter to make Valentine's cards for her classmates.

This year, I just wait until my children are in bed, and I sit back and enjoy some time with my wife watching stuff like this:

We love to laugh and enjoy the company of each other, but today was a very different Valentine's Day. We did the walkthrough inspection for our apartment and got our keys! This weekend will be devoted to super crazy fun time, aka moving house. Shouldn't be that hard since we packed everything up in a storage pod that will be dropped at our new place on Friday.

I have pledged to post once a day for the year of 2011, and I don't plan on having something like a move get in the way of that. I'm just saying post might be a little vapid over the next while.

So things should be more or less the same.

Movie Project - Day 41: Toy Story

2011-02-14T12:00:00.001-07:00

Hard to believe this movie was released a little over fifteen years ago, and it is just as good as the day I sat in the Village Tree Mall Theatre in St. Albert, Alberta. You don't forget this movie, but oddly I've forget when the first time was Erini saw it. My wife figures it was Fall 2008 that I opened up my collectors edition Ultimate Toy Box and put Toy Story into the DVD player for the first time. A week later my wife took it out because Erini wanted to watch nothing else, but my wife was very sick of watching it. Hard to believe you can get sick of Toy Story, but she did.

Like any kind of sickness though, if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger, and my wife loves Toy Story enough that she'll let my daughter watch it now and again. Today was the first time I had seen it since 5 Nov 2010, when I did a Toy Story Marathon with some friends to celebrate the release of Toy Story 3. Erini watched the whole marathon too.

During the scene when Woody and Buzz enter Sid's room, and Woody is freaking out about the scene, Erini commented that Woody was scared. Then she really caught my attention when she started talking about Toy Story 3. She said something about Buzz being tied to a chair, and he was scared. I asked if she was scared, and she kept pointing out that Woody was scared, never affirming or denying that she harboured any kind of fear towards the movie.

It's been pointed out that my daughter has trouble sleeping whenever she watched the second sequel of today's movie, and so I haven't watched TS3 since November. I'm hoping that I'll be able to watch it with her sometime soon, and she'll be able to shed her fear. I don't know why, but she seems to do better watching movies with her daddy.

While this was Pixar's first feature film, it was not their first production. Luxo Jr. owns that spot, and the two films have something in common. When John Lasseter premiered Luxo Jr. at SIGGRAPH someone approached him. Lasseter was afraid that he was about to ask some sort of techincal question regarding the film such as the shading or light scatter algorythms used. Instead he was asked if the parent lamp was the mother or the father. With that question, Lasseter saw they had achieved their goal of showing that computer animation was another tool available to animators, but it was story that made it lasting.

This movie, and the other two in the series, have such rich environments there is always something else to find. Sometimes it's a matter of knowing the references to the inside jokes that makes it new, like the carpet on the upstairs landing at Sid's house. Trust me, if you know Lee Unkrich's favourite movie, it's hilarious. Even today, my wife pointed out that Woody's hat right's itself when he shakes his head after the bowling ball hits him. You can focus on details like that after the fourth or fifth viewing.

One day, Erini and I will watch this with director commentary. Hopefully. She might not have the patience for something like that, but it will probably be a few years yet before she'll appreciate extra features like that.

Until then, we'll just supply our own commentaries.

Movie Project - Day 40: Peter and the Wolf

2011-02-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

Animation is a peculiar art form. With most other types of film projects, music is added to the film at the end of production, but with animation it's the other way around. Music is the first thing recorded and the animation is adjusted to fit.

In the case of this Disney Mini Classic, Peter and the Wolf, the music was not composed at the Disney Studios, but rather is a Russian symphony aimed at children composed in 1936 by Sergei Prokofiev. While the short is only fifteen minutes, the run time for the entire piece is under half an hour at twenty-five minutes.

Only Sterling Halloway's voice is in this piece as the narrator. Each of the characters have their own voice, but with musical instruments:
Peter - Strings
Bird (Sasha) - Flute
Duck (Sonya) - Oboe
Cat (Ivan) - Clarinet
Grandpa - Bassoon
Hunters - Kettle Drums
Wolf - Brass (trumpets, etc.)

Erini has already learned to love Fantasia, so this wasn't much of a stretch for her to understand. New movies always transfix her anyway, and good music helps too. I was very impressed with how the character instruments were described, and the animation style was very fluid and whimsical, matching the music quite well.

There was an Academy Award winning stop motion production of Peter and the Wolf done in 2006, but unless I get my hand on a PAL converter, we'll have to wait until there's a North American release.

I thought the cassette was rather short with only Peter and the Wolf, and I wasn't the only one, because everyone was a little surprised when another short started up, a Silly Symphony called Musicland.

Completely done without dialogue, this romance story carries itself much like Romeo and Juliet with the two star crossed lovers on different sides of a conflict of musical styles. Erini particularly liked the saxophones, as she thought they were quite funny.

By now, my wife remembered there was one more feature, staring Mickey Mouse and company, Symphony Hour.

Very fun, very cute, but my in-laws, my wife, and myself were wondering just how much was done by Spike Jones. There were some instances where we were all laughing quite hard, such as the donkey accordion.

One thing for sure, my daughter loves to laugh, as she demonstrates whenever we cuddle up together and watch some Pinky and the Brain episodes. NARF!

Movie Project - Day 39: Donald in Mathmagic Land

2011-02-12T12:00:00.000-07:00

Call me a nerd, but one of the things that impressed me while my wife and I were dating was that she could accurately recite 11 digits of Pi at the drop of a hat. When I asked her how she learned that, instead of her usual response of "in a book," she told me that she learned it from a Disney short "Donald in Mathmagic Land." Eight years later, I finally watched it. In English. While watching it with Erini and her cousins, I remembered watching it in Grade 8, Late French Immersion. It was a little easier to understand in English!

I'm not sure just how much Erini learned from this short, but I would have no problems with her watching it again. It covers ratios, shapes, and even iterations. The amazing thing is that it's not presented that way. Ratios are talked about using music. Take a string, pluck it, pinch it in half, pluch again, and it's a octave higher. You can continue taking half lengths and the tone will continue going up in octaves.

Such a simple technique, you would think it was around for centuries, and you would be right. According to this short, the Greek mathematician Pythagoras, who developed a theorem based on triangles which later developed into the cosine law, also discovered the mathematical principles behind musical intervals. I would have thought it went back further, but the show is only 27 minutes.

It also illustrated how math is applied to a number of games. Chess is the obvious example, but there was another one that surprised me, three cushion billiards. I've always known that billiards or pool involves force vector calculations and a bit of trigonometry never hurts either. Then you have the trick shots, which involve a bit more luck than anything! But with three cushion billiards, EVERY shot is a trick shot. It was just amazing to watch.

The final segment was the best way to end a documentary on mathematics: mental constructs. Every great discovery was first imagined, thought out in the mind, and then brought to life.

Nature also follows mathematical models to a precision that can only be described as perfect. Shells follow the Fibonacci series, there are a number of flowers that follow a pentagonal pattern, and static bubbles have a perfect spherical shape.

The only reason this short is not in our DVD collection is that I haven't found it for sale anywhere in the city. Or maybe I'm just not looking in the right places.

Movies a Bite at a Time #2 – The Hurt Locker

2011-02-11T12:00:00.000-07:00

For a time, I had the idea to view some war movies with my daughter. Then I tried to figure out what I would feel comfortable with a four year old watching. The closest thing I could come up with was an animated telling of the story of Helaman and the 2000 Stripling Warriors. Regardless of the awards and honours bestowed upon any movie, my wife has told me many times over that if I want to watch war movies, I would have to do so alone. She hasn't watched all of "The Dark Knight" because it gave her such a fright. I can't even think what would happen to her if she tried to watch The Hurt Locker.

Many war films have illustrated the famous phrase attributed to William Tecumseh Sherman, "War is hell," but The Hurt Locker puts a different twist to it with their tagline, "War is a drug." The movie chronicles the final month and a half of an Explosive Ordinance Disposal (EOD) team's rotation, the power struggles they have within the team, and the toll the conflict has on each soldier, with the emphasis on Sergent First Class William James. While most people live in fear that every minute they stay in Iraq could be their last, James takes it all with stride and relishes each moment he has in the field. Borderline reckless, but extremely good at his work, such to the point that his arrogance and addictive behaviour nearly gets his fellow soldier killed in action.

The amount of explosives in the movie outweigh the amount of explosions, if that makes sense. There were only four explosions in the entire film, though there is one scene where they are called to investigate the aftermath of a detonation. The most intense parts where the bombs that don't explode. There is a very palpable sense of urgency and the cinematography is done so well, it feels like you really are a part of the action.

Working in an office is not the same as working and living in a base camp comprised of trailers, but stretching out the movie over the course of a week did give me a bit of insight to how my brother-in-law described his time in Bosnia., "Days of mediocrity punctuated by second of sheer panic." Compressing forty days of service into a two hour movie would remove a lot of the boring bits, though there is a scene where they are doing test blasts. Yet you never see movies about people writing up reports or drafting letters.

All My Circuits: The Movie doesn't count.

Movies a Bite at a Time #1 – Caddyshack

2011-02-10T12:00:00.002-07:00

Adding yet another spin off series for this blog, today is the introductory post for Movies a Bite at a Time. This is about movies that I have managed to watch over the course of my lunch breaks. Some of my coworkers consider me crazy for watching movies during my lunch break since I only have about 25 minutes of viewing time available after I prepare my meal. Thus, a two hour movie would be broken into four or five viewings. They argue that movies are media that were meant to be watched in one full sitting, and are structured story wise to allow for that. Plus, they could never do it because it would “drive them crazy.” I started doing this because there are a number of movies that I want to see, but would not be able to watch with my wife, much less would I want my daughter watching.

I unintentionally started off with Caddyshack because my in-laws had it, Caitlin had already seen it, and it starts Rodney Dangerfield. However the version my wife saw was the edited for television version. Less skin scenes, and I'm guessing a bit less language too. I surprised my boss when I was watching it during lunch, and a rather steamy scene popped up that he hadn't seen previously. Thankfully, I was familiar with the fast forward function on Toshi and was able to spare myself from most of the nasty bits and further embarassment.

I admit, with some shame, this was my first time seeing this movie. This shocked many of my coworkers since it is one of the quintessential sports movies, and it was on television multiple times. How I did not watch it previously is not really a mystery, because my parents were rather strict with what we watched on TV, and I didn't have cable until a few years ago. I have yet to see it on TV, but after watching it on DVD, I think I've had my fill.

Bill Murray and Chevy Chase are ridiculously funny and I am very curious to know just how much of the actual golf shots were done by Chevy Chase. The putting scene was like watching a river of golf balls flowing into the practice green hole. Rodney Dangerfield was funny, obnoxious, and fit right in with this film. It's not fair to compare King Kong to this movie, but I felt the final line of the movie left it on a off note, much like "It was beauty that killed the beast," spoken by Jack Black. You hear that line, and you just hope there's something else to follow that up. In Caddyshack, the movie doesn't finish right after Dangerfield's line, but with the gopher dancing, showing the audience that it survived the explosive charges set by Bill Murray's character.

In terms of sports movies, this is one of the movies that showed the lighter side of the sport reserved for the upper class. In terms of comedies, it's one of Rodney Dangerfield's best, and was a stepping stone for Bill Murray, Chevy Chase, and Harold Ramis in his directorial debut. Ramis has gone on to write and direct a number of classic modern comedies such as Groundhog Day, Vacation, Analyze This, and Analyze That. I'm very much looking forward to Ghostbusters III slated for release in 2012.

Would I ever allow my daughter to watch this? Maybe if it was on TV and edited for general viewing. Otherwise, I would not feel comfortable with her watching the DVD by herself, or until she's eighteen.

Knowing my luck, she's going to see it behind my back as an act of rebellion when she's fourteen.

Movie Project - Day 38: Star Warners

2011-02-09T12:00:00.000-07:00

Revisiting the Pinky and the Brain collection, Star Warners was the final episode for the series. This was a rather unusual episode as it had cameos from most everyone in the Animaniacs series as well as a number of other Warner Brothers characters, such as Marvin the Martian. Nearly had a "Squee" attack when I saw him!

Erini didn't tell me her favourite part, but she laughed the hardest and loudest when a Jawa, played by Mindy from Animaniacs, approached Brain2-Me2 and C-Pinky0. I was roaring along with my daughter at the inanely cute conversation.

Brain2-Me2: Please take us to the nearest spaceport.
Jawa-Mindy: Why?
Brain2-Me2: So we can get to the Megastar.
Jawa-Mindy: Why?
Brain2-Me2: So I can take over the galaxy.
Jawa-Mindy: Why?
Brain2-Me2: Because it would be better if it was run by me.
Jawa-Mindy: Why?
Brain2-Me2: Because I'm really smart.
Jawa-Mindy: Why?
Brain2-Me2: BECAUSE I AM! NOW STOP SAYING THAT!
Jawa-Mindy: Why?
Brain2-Me2: Pinky, get her to stop saying that!
C-Pinky0: Why?

Comedy gold! Caitlin was upstairs listening to the episode but wasn't able to hear the last part because Erini and I were laughing so hard. The episode took parts from all of the movies from the original Star Wars Trilogy, mostly notably due to the fact this episode was made before the prequel trilogy was released.

The animated series produced by Steven Speilberg - Tiny Toons, Animaniacs, Pinky and the Brain - are amoung my favourite cartoons. They had a particular mix of sharp wit and absurd behaviour that made it ever so fun to watch, but as I mentioned my previous post about Pinky and the Brain, it was very educational. Animaniacs particularly poked political leaders and had numerous caricatured cameos of popular Hollywood stars. Much like the Looney Toons shorts of the 50's and 60's, these cartoons were a statement of the times, while providing hilarious comedy.

In the latter part of Star Warners, Wakko sees Slappy reading a newspaper, while he just saw her die a few moments ago. When he mentions this to her, she replies, "Eh. Dying is easy. Comedy is hard." Indeed comedy is hard, but when it's done right, it stands for generations, and Star Warners is evidence of that. A modern classic cartoon parodying one of the greatest movies of popular culture shows the strength and tenacity of the writing and the characters.

Now to show her the Star Wars series.

Date Night Screening #2: Percy Jackson and the Olympians – The Lightning Thief

2011-02-08T12:00:00.000-07:00

There are only so many movies you can watch day in day out with your daughter before you realize that she needs to spend more time out doors. Or asleep. Plus, there are instances when I need to be alone with my wife, and having Toshi (the portable DVD player) makes it easy for cheap date nights. Caitlin, my wife, loves the Greek myths and legends almost as much as dragons, and since this movie features a Hydra, I figured this was a no-brainer. But life gets in the way, and we were not able to see this movie until recently when I picked it up at EPL.

As much room for success with the idea of having Greek Gods, demigods, and mythical creatures integrated with modern society, there was also much room for failure. There are a few plot holes, but the story keeps its focus on Percy Jackson, and holds to that story line. The movie could have very easily jumped off track and explored modern settings for the myths, but the other myths were treated as compliments to the story and didn't push it too hard.

Since my wife and I were very familiar with the myths, we caught onto some elements right away, and we were impressed how the myth elements were explained and used. When they confront the Hydra, Percy finds out about the regrowth factor after he had done the damage to induce the regeneration. When they were at Medusa's lair and they pick up some gold drachmas, there no huge exposition as to how many they should take, or why they should take them. Might seem a little odd, but we understood immediately.

It was also poignant to watch this with my wife since she was able to explain the character backgrounds, such as Chiron, the great scholar of the Greek myths and father of all centaurs. My wife and I were practically doing a special features commentary while watching the film.

I was particularly pleased with how they handled the Greek parts of the film. I didn't check to see if all the Greek text was accurate, but the spoken Greek, while brief, was correct. Made me think about training our dogs to respond to Greek commands. When we get dogs. Someday.

Wonderful date for my wife and I, and I could see my daughter enjoying it. Except for the scenes in hell. And the Hydra might scare her a bit, but she has seen centaurs before (Fantasia), so that wouldn't completely freak her out. She's also seen Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe, so people turning to stone wouldn't give her a start. But that Fury... [shudder]

Maybe when she's four and a half.

Date Night Screening #1: The Thin Man

2011-02-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

How my wife and I came across this movie series is shrouded with uncertainty. She thinks we saw it on TV, and I insist we first watched the DVD copy I found it at EPL. Knowing my wife, we probably did watch it on TV first, then I tracked it down at the library to share with her folks. Fast forward to present day, and we have the entire movie series on DVD, which I found at HMV on Christmas Eve.

With the intention of being a facetious customer, I was about to ask if they would honour their Boxing Day prices now, since they were already posted online, but instead I asked one of the boldest questions I have ever posed a retailer, "Can I put this on hold?" Here I am, ten minutes to close on Christmas Eve, and I'm asking to put The Thin Man Collection DVD Set on hold! I told them I would not be able to pick it up until Dec 27, and as far as they could see it was not going to be discounted for Boxing Week, so they put it aside for me. I could not believe my luck.

The premise is almost too simple. A retired dective turned lush and his equally gregarious wife solve a murder mystery as a lark. Everyone they talk to, the media, the police, the suspects, are treated with the utmost respect, and Nick is smart enough to charm every bit of useful information out of everyone, and still let everyone else think that they're helping with the investigation while he sits back and enjoys his life. Quite the atypical detective movie, yet extremely entertaining.

My wife's favourite part is when Nick and Nora are in the kitchen during their Christmas Party.

Nora: Is that my drink?
Nick: What were you drinking?
Nora: Rye.
Nick: [finishes the drink] [nods] Yep, that was yours. [hands Nora empty glass]

I am not the only one to admire this movie. It's listed in 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die, and I whole heartedly agree. It's an amazingly comic whodunit, and for half the movie the main puzzle is if he's actually working on the case. After the second or third time watching it, my wife and I were trying to figure out just how much of the movie was scripted. The razor wit between Nick and Nora keeps the movie cursing along like a Bugatti Veyron, and even when all the suspects are together and Nick is about to point out the murderer, there are still jokes interjected that fit and don't detract from the scene.

To put credit where it's due, the director W.S. "Woody" Van Dyke visualixed William Powell and Myrna Loy working together well, and also shooting the movie in about half the estimated time. He continued this pattern of making successful movies with unknown or unemployed actors and finishing movies under schedule and under budget, which brought in a substantial amount of money to the studios. Sadly, he was diagnosed with heart disease and cancer, eventually committing suicide in February 1943.

A classic film, but not one I would watch with my daughter quite yet. Though I'm sure she would enjoy Asta, their brilliant terrier, and the Christmas morning scene, most of the humour and drama is too much for her to understand right now.

I'll wait until she's five.

Movie Project - Day 37: Balto

2011-02-06T12:00:00.000-07:00

My in-laws raised Old English Sheepdogs and my sister-in-law still has one, thus my daughter has been around dogs for most of her life. True, Siberian Huskies are not the same, but they both fall under working class dogs. Based on the true story of the 1925 serum run to Nome, I was surprised this movie did not do better when it was in theatres. That surprise vanished once I found out it was released 22 December 1995, which was one month to the day after Toy Story hit the screens and changed the world of animation. Had the studio known what a powerhouse of a movie Toy Story would be, I'm sure they would have tried to push for an earlier release date.

I thought it was a good movie outlining the importance of standing for what you know to be right and determination to achieve the impossible. And even more facinating, was the live action scenes in which a grandmother and her granddaughter are walking through Central Park in New York City. They're searching for a memorial, and they pause so the grandma can catch her breath, then she explains to her granddaughter what they're looking for and why it was so important.

The main character, Balto, is half wolf and half sled dog and is outcast by both communities because of this mix. His friends are oddballs as well, a goose that does not migrate and two polar bears that don't swim, and rounding out the protagonists is Jenna, the dog of Rosy, who is later revealed to be the grandmother in the live action sequences.

While you can't change history, Hollywood tends to pick and choose the parts of the story they like in order to make their story work on screen. There was an outbreak of diphtheria in Nome, Alaska in 1925, and the only way they were able to get the antitoxin to the town was via dogsled, and it was pulled into town by a team lead by Balto. Everything else was added for the story's sake.

I understand that a movie only has so much time to tell a story, and in this case the story is more about Balto and the strong personal choices he makes in the face of adversity, therefore historical accuracy was not high on the list. Togo and his team were not mentioned at all, even though they carried the serum through the more dangerous part of the run from Nenana to the checkpoint where it was handed over to Balto's team.

Most all Siberian Huskies registered with the American Kennel Club can trace their pedigree back to the dogs that participated in the 1925 Nome serum run. In fact, because of the serum run, the Siberian Husky became a very popular dog, and was accepted into the AKC in 1930. Some people might think that the granddaughter's dog Blaze is a descendant of Balto. This might have a sliver of hope if that dog was animated, because the real Balto was born, raised, and trained with the goal of making him a sled dog, so he was neutered at a very young age. This fact was left out, as it would would have crippled the series, since the sequels are about the adventures of Balto's pups.

Erini loved the dogs, and since this wasn't her first time watching it, she was able to pick up on a few more things, such as the relationship between Jenna and Rosy. I'm not sure if she just remembers parts at the end of the movie, because she told me her favourite part was when the children were all hugging their parents because they were getting better.

She also likes the memorial statue they find at the close of the film, which I ignorantly thought was made just for the movie. Unless they had this movie planned back in December 1925 when the statue was unveiled, I was very wrong. Not the first time, and I'm sure it won't be the last.

Movie Project - Day 36: Pinky and the Brain

2011-02-05T12:00:00.004-07:00

While not this is not a movie, and watching the entire series in one sitting is near impossible since my daughter would never stay still for that long, I thought it would be interesting to see my daughters take on one of my favourite cartoons. We watched a couple episodes on Toshi (our portable DVD player) in order to take advantage of the sunshine today. I was so engrossed in the show that I failed to notice the vast amount of snow falling until after I had turned it off.

Erini thought the mice were cute, and I was pleased there was a lot of phyical humour to the show. The complexity of the dialogue was such that I found it a bit of a challenge to keep up. Of course, the fact there were no English subtitles made it that much more difficult for me to keep pace. There were French and Spanish subtitles, but no English. That disappointed me a little.

Another reason why my daughter sat through as much as she did might have something to do with the voice acting. While I'm sure she wouldn't know Orson Wells from Mel Gibson, Maurice LaMarche and Rob Paulsen have done a number of voices. It could be said they follow the wisdom of Ephriam Levi, "If you have to live from hand to mouth, you better be ambidextrous!" It would almost be easier to say which productions they haven't been in, as their combined voice work has spanned from Inspector Gadget (1985 series) to the Tinkerbell movie series. It's also interesting to note Rob Paulson voiced Yakko Warner, whom my daughter loves because of the Countries of the World song.

I'm sure she'll love Pinky and the Brain just as much once she sees the Brainstem song.

Until we move into our new place, she'll have to be satisfied with watching it on YouTube since that song is on Volume 1, which is currently in storage. We do have Volumes 2 and 3, and that's just fine, because The Really Great Dictator and Just Say Narf are on Volume 3, not to mention Star Warners, in which Pinky and the Brain are featured as 3-PinkyO and Brain2-Me2.

She has quite the affection for R2-D2, since she's physically met him!

Movie Project - Day 35: How to Train Your Dragon

2011-02-04T12:00:00.001-07:00

Very odd that even thought I abandoned the idea of doing a war movies week, movies involving battles, explosions, and vast military forces keep ending up in the player! Today's movie was not my choice, but rather my mother-in-law's. This is entire due to her listening to the Academy Award Nominated soundtrack which I borrowed from EPL last week. After listening to the music earlier today, she really wanted to see the movie, and so she put on the Blu-ray copy, which we own.

This was the first Blu-ray movie we've watched in some time, and it was the first one my in-laws have seen since I tweaked the settings. I'm the family technician when it comes to television and home theater setups, and I knew for a fact that I had set up an HD connection from the Blu-ray player to the TV. I never thought much of it until my sister-in-law commented, almost in passing, "Mom and dad need a new TV, because this one isn't HD." I tried to debate my position, and validate the work that I did with the setup, but the fact remained, the picture didn't look that great. Determined to fix this, I fiddled around with the settings on the Blu-ray player, and discovered that it's possible to manually set the resolution output. It had been set to Auto, which would have been fine had an 'smart' connection been used, ie. HDMI. As it was, the connection I set up was a component connection, which is not as complex as HDMI, but is capable of a 1080i output. A push of the button, and Voila! HD quality picture.

Needless to say, Erini didn't really notice. If she did, she didn't tell me. Mind, this wasn't the first movie that she'd seen since I did the tweaking, so maybe she was used to it. Also, this wasn't the first time she'd seen How to Train Your Dragon. This movie is huge favorite in my family, if for the dragons alone. Every time Caitlin watches this movie, she sighs, "I want a dragon." Most girls want ponies, bunnies, or even pot belly pigs! Not my wife. Dragons. If it was possible to breed dragons, she'd do it.

I'm not sure what exactly is Erini's favourite part of the movie. She likes so many. When Hiccup and Toothless first meet and Toothless reguritates the fish, offering it to Hiccup as a token of friendship, she giggles at the grimace on his face. In that same scene, when Hiccup is playing Toothless' game of 'Stay Off the Lines,' she thinks it's hilarious how Toothless changes from happy to angry when Hiccup puts his foot on the line. Then of course there's the BIG dragon, aka The Green Death, and the big fight that ensues.

Worthy of note, in each of those parts, there's not a lot, if any, dialogue spoken. Most of the storytelling is done with the animation and music. When I first played the soundtrack, I put on track 11, "Test Drive."

She knew right away what the music was from and said, "This is Toothless!"

Maybe it's the use of the bagpipes, or just the general atmosphere of the music that makes you feel like you're flying along with Toothless and Hiccup, but it's unique, it's beautiful, and I really hope it wins the Oscar for Original Score. Even if it's going up against Inception. Hans Zimmer vs. John Powell. Eek. I'll just have to watch on February 27 to see who wins.

As far as Oscar potential, would I say this movie better than Toy Story 3? No, but it has been noted by my mother-in-law that Erini sleeps very poorly when she watches TS3. When she watches HTTYD, she sleeps just fine. Having my daughter sleep through the night is a blessing for everyone, so until I find the time to sit down with Erini and watch TS3, and make sure she goes to bed without any issues, and stays in bed, we might be watching this high flying adventure a few more times.

My Oscar pick for Best Animated Feature is still Toy Story 3, since the Academy has yet to base their choices on my daughter's sleeping pattern.

Movie Project - Day 34: The Iron Giant

2011-02-03T12:00:00.000-07:00

While I had this on my list of war movies, I had decided to do away with any kind of theme for the moment. Little did I know, I forgot to put this DVD away, and Erini found it. Maybe she remembered watching it previously, or maybe it was the giant robot on the front, but she insisted on watching it. How could I refuse?

I first saw this movie back in 2003 when The Incredibles was being hyped all over the internet. Brad Bird was a newcomer to Pixar, but not to animation as I discovered in my research, and it was this movie, The Iron Giant, that got the attention of John Lasseter. After reading this little factoid, I looked up the movie in my in-laws 2001 Movie Hound, and saw the movie had a rating of three and a half bones. The next day I went and bought a copy. I cursed my impatience when I saw the Special Edition a few short months later.

Not that it mattered, because this movie is sheer excellence, and my daughter doesn't care much for special features. At least not right now. Erini was more interested in the giant robot and all the damage he made. I had to make a couple corrections on her comments, such as at the end when the Giant flies off to stop the missile. She said, "He's going back to where he came from." In a way she was right, since he was sacrificing himself to save the town, but I emphasized the heroic action he was doing, not the fact that he was leaving.

Erini is really starting to pick up character emotions and relationships, but she's still a little girl. After the movie I asked her what her favourite part was. Her reply, "When they're watching the movie at school." Why? "Because it was cool when they were flying around with the planes." She mixed up the beginning and the end of the movie. Oops.

Still, I talked with her about those parts and stressed how the Giant chose to do all that he did. While he was flying through the air avoiding the jets and missiles, he threw his hand in front of his eyes to shut down his defensive protocols. When he thought Hogarth was dead, he gave into his anger and let his counter-measures go full scale. After he saw his friend was alright, he regained control and shut down his weapons.

I'm quite sure my daughter isn't going to go on a rampage and overturn military forces with a casual glance, but she's still young and hasn't hit puberty yet. Uh oh. I have a wife and two daughters. About twelve years from now, I'm going to have a house of horrors once a month! Maybe. I'll have to stock up on chocolate now.

Movie Project - Day 33: Pete's Dragon

2011-02-02T12:00:00.000-07:00

I've heard it said that it takes two women to raise a man: his mother and his wife. Hence, I'm taking the advice of my wife to abandon the war movie theme and instead go with random movies.

In terms of random movies, Pete's Dragon ranks up there is zany stunts and plot. It's also my wife's favourite movie, mostly due to the fact one of the main characters is a dragon. While Elliot doesn't instill fear like the Hungarian Horntail and has a wing to mass ratio similar to Heimlich, he's still a dragon, and unlike typical dragons, he can make himself invisible.

While Elliot is an animated dragon, keep in mind director Don Bluth headed the animation for this memorable character. His number of projects at the time was not that impressive, but he did go on to produce the video game Dragon's Lair six years after the 1977 release of this movie. Working for Disney, it had to be cute, but Elliot had some fearsome attributes to him as well.

Having an animated character interact with a live action environment was not a new idea in 1977. One of the first movies to do so was the 1925 classic The Lost World. (I prefer to claim ignorance regarding the Jurassic Park sequel) I would like to say this was Erini's introduction to animated characters interacting with live action footage, but technically it would be Happy Feet. Hard to say if that counts, not because the interaction is limited to people watching the animated characters, but rather she slept through it. And she was about a month old at the time.

Nevertheless, she did pick up the emotional link between Pete and Elliot. She could see they were friends, and it wasn't good for them to be separated. When Pete was being held by the Gogans being used as bait, she made the comment, "That's not good!"

There is reason to believe that my daughter didn't quite understand the drunk scenes, which for some odd reason slipped my mind. Two of the main characters are heavy drinkers, and when they got to see Elliot by themselves, they are completely intoxicated. There's also a musical number done in a saloon, which ends with the entire patronage being showered with beer. I'm quite sure Disney wouldn't be able to get away with that today!

With all the reboots and remakes going on today, I really hope they leave Pete's Dragon alone. It was a classic for its time, and should remain so. Sprucing it up for the digital age by remastering the image and sound is fine, but the story, characters, plot, and most especially the music is excellent and timeless.

Erini wasn't quite as enthused about the songs as I thought she would be, but I guess she hasn't listened to Simply Sinister Songs that much. Only one of the songs from Pete's Dragon is on the CD, but it's still a catchy tune. Caitlin and I were singing along with all the songs from "The Happiest Home in These Hills" to "Brazzle Dazzle Day" despite not having seen the movie in over ten years, possibly twenty. Wow. I feel old now.

That's just the spirit of this movie. It's the kind of fun that you remember and treasure, and like all treasures, they increase in worth when they are shared.

I still have a hard time believing my coworkers have not seen this movie, but have seen Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Maybe once they have their own children, they'll think about sitting down and watching this with them.

Movie Project - Day 32: The Sound of Music

2011-02-01T12:00:00.001-07:00

How do you manage to put together a story about a family, a nun, political turmoil, and put it all to music? That's the genius behind Richard Rogers and Oscar Hammerstein's The Sound of Music. You can watch it dozens of times, and still enjoy it as much as the first. Winner of five Academy Awards, including Best Picture, this classic was the first movie to supersede Gone With The Wind as the biggest box office movie of all time. But adjusted for inflation, it's the 3rd highest grossing movie of all time, right behind Gone With The Wind and Star Wars.

Does my daughter agree with film history? I would say yes. At least the first half. She acted scared and cuddled up with me on the couch during the thunderstorm (My Favourite Things) and was trying to sing along during "Do-Re-Mi." I'm never quite sure what my daughter understands to be dancing, because when she asks me to get up and dance, she usually runs around in a circle or spins on her snurrig. Even during the dance at the von Trapp home at the end of Act I, she would just wander around.

The second half didn't hold much interest for her. It was just a bunch of people moping around and being in love. Not all that exciting for her. When they're escaping from the Gestapo, that was when her attention piqued, and she watched for a few moments. She came back when the family was climbing the mountains to escape to Switzerland, which was a bit of a goof, since the closest mountains to Salzburg border on Germany.

With the amount of technical goofs that you could find in the movie, there are many other fantastic moments that just leave you amazed. And laughing.

Gretl: "I hurt my finger!"
Maria: "What happened?"
Gretl: "It got caught in something."
Maria: "What did it get caught in?"
Gretl: "Fredrik's teeth."

The little children also kept Erini's attention for most of the movie. I would have loved to watch the special features with her, but seeing that she can barely stand to watch the exposition of the characters, I'm certain she wouldn't even spend two seconds watching the actors talk about making the movie!

Need to keep reminding myself that she's not quite four years old. I'm sure she didn't even notice the Nazis in the movie. Oddly enough, I got a bit of a chill when Rolf first said Heil, Hitler! [Shudder]

While the true events of the van Trapp family were adjusted to play on film, Georg was very much Anti-Nazi, and for that reason he fled the country with his family. Watching these movies with my daughter faces me with ideas that I have never before considered. Would I have done the same if my family where in the same predicament?

There's the question parents love to ask their teenagers, with numerous twists, "If all your friends decided to jump off a bridge, would you do it too?" Imagine instead, "If the entire country decided to jump off a bridge, would you do it too?" Going along with public opinion, keeping things calm, maintaining the status quo will only go so far before you reach a breaking point.

While this movie didn't really stress the importance of looking for shifts in political waters, there key tone was the importance of family, faith, and music. My favourite song, "Climb Every Mountain," does not address each of those elements directly, but conveys the important message to never give up.

Goodness knows, when I try to get my daughter to eat her dinner, brush her teeth, or even sit still, it can be a epic battle of wills. Much like climbing a mountain, it can be a struggle, and sometimes you wonder if the top can ever be reached.

At my wife's 'suggestion', I'm going to take a step away from 'war' movies.
Next up: Pete's Dragon.

Movie Project - Day 31: Helaman's Stripling Warriors - Animated Stories from The Book of Mormon

2011-01-31T12:00:00.002-07:00

If anyone had their doubts, today's movie will make it clear what my religious affiliations are. As it was Sunday, I figured it was high time to break out one of the discs in the vast collection of the Living Scriptures Stories my in-laws received for Christmas. It was a gift given to them by my brother-in-law so that the grandchildren would have something to watch on Sundays. I had seen some of these video shorts before, but the memory of them was quite vague.

The story of Helaman and the two thousand sixty Stripling Warriors was not new to me, being a Primary, Seminary, and Institute Graduate. Still, it was interesting watching this with Erini, because to my knowledge, this was the first time she had been told the story beginning to end, and I learned something new as well.

During the expository montage at the beginning, which gave the background story as to how these two thousand young men volunteered to fight for the Nephites, there was a recap of the slaughter of the Anti-Nephi-Lehi's. While I knew one thousand and five people were killed, it never occurred to me that the men killed were survived by their wives and children. With this upsurge of single mothers, they still kept their faith and taught their children the gospel.

The fact that these men were raised without fathers struck a chord. I tried to stress this point with Erini, as I had never thought of this idea before, and I wanted her to remember it. She was rather docile for the whole twenty-eight minutes of the production. Whether she was taking it all in, or still waking up, it didn't matter to me. I was just happy that she was learning some sort of scripture story with her father.

When the two thousand sons are faced with the idea of going to battle, they were fearless because of their mother's testimonies. This faith is what preserved them all, as not one was killed in the battle. That's not to say they were not injured, many were, but everyone was alive and accounted for. In the end, all the Stripling Warriors returned home alive.

On a side note, the cartoon seemed like it was done by animators from He-Man, She-Ra, or some other production featuring muscle bound characters. Wouldn't you know, I was right.

As a war film, this is very, very tame, but I was slightly surprised with the amount of blood that was shown on screen. There weren't any body parts flying around, or shrapnel embedded in bodies, but there was a fair share of dead bodies and bloody swords.

War is an ugly thing, but necessary under some circumstances, such as fighting for freedom. Whenever the Nephites fought in defense of their country, they always were victorious. If they were the instigating party, they would lose.

Politics has always been a subject I try to avoid, mostly because it's simple, yet complicated. Knowing right from wrong is a simple thing, but knowing when your rights start on others is what I need to teach to my daughter, and by so doing relearn myself.

Finding war movies that are appropriate for children is quite the task, but I've selected a few that I think might work: The Sound of Music (Nazi occupation of Austria), Remember the Titans (Battle of Gettysburg/Racism), The Iron Giant (Cold War/Xenophobia), Newsies (Capitalist Oppression), Wargames (Nuclear Threat), and Joyeux Noel (Have to screen that one first). To those reading this, if you have any suggestions to add, please let me know.

The common theme in these movies is how wars are fought. It's not necessarily done by killing your fellow man, but by overcoming your own fears and prejudices that dictate who your enemy is and helping others to do the same.

Conflict is inevitable; violence is not. Let's hope my daughter can learn that through these movies.

Movie Project - Day 30: Hello, Dolly!

2011-01-30T12:00:00.000-07:00

Rounding out Musical Week with something more recent than the 1950's, yet still had Gene Kelly involved, is the most loved musical in the Pixar universe, Hello, Dolly! The movie was considered a flop in its initial release, as it made only half of the $25 million budget (approx. $175 million today) at the box office. But that didn't deter the Oscar Committee from giving it seven nominations, of which three were awarded: Best Art Direction, Best Score, and Best Sound. The four awards that were missed were Best Film Editing, Best Costume Design, Best Cinematography, and Best Picture.

Gene Kelly in the director's seat, this film was bound to be a singing and dancing extravaganza, which it is, and there were not many moments when the movie lagged. Everyone is always moving, whether it be their bodies, their mouths or both. The dialogue was snappy and the lines were coming out right on top of the other. It was a bit of a challenge to keep up with it all, and I was grateful I had the captions running while watching. I was slightly annoyed that the captions were only for the speaking parts. None of the songs had captioned lyrics. A minor problem since the musical numbers were done very well.

Except maybe, "It Takes A Woman." I knew that Walter Matthau was not in many musicals, but I didn't fully realize this was the ONLY musical he was in. Not to say he's worse than Pierce Brosnan, but his singing talent was at the bottom of the cast.

There were times when Erini was contented to watch, such as the 14th Street Parade scene, which was quite the ordeal with hundreds of people on screen for the final shot, not to mention the vast array of horses. The various dance scenes had held her borderline-four-year-old attention span for more than a few microseconds as well. I'm sure that if my daughter had a better understanding of the English language, she might have been able to follow Dolly Levi's (Barbra Streisand) flow of woman talk that was almost fast enough to put this Latina to shame.

That said, the only reason I was able to control my urge to plug my ears with steel wool was that Barbra Streisand charming and conniving performance always seemed to stop right at the line of downright annoying. A toe went over now and then, but then she went right back to her moderate degree of cute and coy. The elaborate outfits also kept my mind distracted from the annoyances that cropped up, ie. during "So Long, Dearie," I was focusing more on the impressive headpiece, hair style, and fabulous dress she was sporting rather than the song itself. I will admit, Streisand can act, she can sing, it's just puts me off when she appears to be realigning her jaw while singing.

Above all else, Michael Crawford's ham of a performance was Erini's favourite part of the feature. This is probably due to the fact that he was in every one of the parts when she was very actively engaged: 1) Put On Your Sunday Clothes, 2) It Only Takes a Moment, and 3) The closing number which had a reprisal of both songs. To give you a hint as to why, throughout the songs she kept saying, "It's just like the one in Wall-E!"

Yes, my daughter is a Pixar fan at heart, but she has humoured me enough to sit through all these musicals, and enjoyed herself a number of times as well.

Movie Project - Day 29: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

2011-01-29T12:00:00.000-07:00

My daughter was being rather stubborn at supper, so we had to forego viewing a movie tonight. Parenting is a tough job at the best of times, and downright painful at the worst of times. I don't think I have yet hit the worst of times, or maybe I have and I've involuntarily set up a memory block. Getting Erini to bed tonight could be compared to eating 90% Cacao Chocolate, properly done it's a rather down out process, but very enjoyable once it's down.

Then again, I enjoy every moment of eating chocolate, whereas I was ready to do something that I would have immediately regretted while putting Erini to bed. Multiple times.

Hence today's movie is taken from my memory archives, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. We had seen it back in October, and with my memory recall, this could be short.

While a popular musical, especially amoung the LDS crowd, the songs have not penetrated popular culture quite like other musicals such as Singing in the Rain, Hello Dolly!, or The Sound of Music.

Curious to note that Howard Keel played the lead role as Adam, the eldest brother, who comes across as a proud man that doesn't take no for an answer, while four years earlier he appeared in Annie Get Your Gun as the "pompous, big-headed stiff." He has a very powerful baritone voice, but perhaps a bit type cast, especially with his role in Dallas as Clayton Farlow.

Erini had a bit of a time watching this movie, simply because we saw it outdoors, and it was also quite late. Plus, there is a lot of exposition about how to behave properly in public. People taking about a subject that her parents have stressed to her a number of times would be enough to bore any child.

The songs didn't really hold her attention either, partly because Caitlin wasn't there to sing with me and I was trying to keep quiet for the other people who were watching the movie with us. 1950's musicals are an interesting snapshot of the times, especially in regards to marriage. Whereas today, some movies seem to be on the opposite end of the spectrum.

That's not to say this film is the poster child for an ideal relationship. Adam comes to town at the beginning of the movies looking for a bride like she's an item on his supply list, and then goes on to make no excuses or changes to his lifestyle. This quote sums it up:

Milly: Well, it wouldn't hurt you to learn some manners, too.
Adam: What do I need manners for? I already got me a wife.

My wife would punch me in the crotch if I ever said that to her. Then she'd probably break down in tears. Or the other way around.

Another thing that sparks a bit of disgust is the fact that after Millie kicks all the men out of the house for kidnapping the women, Adam heads off to a trapping cabin where he spends the winter. Even when he hears about the birth of his daughter, he stays there until the spring thaw, because he swore he would. Nevermind that Millie is running a household with six young women and six young men, carried a baby to term, then was caring for the infant without the support of her husband, whom she had only known for a few hours or less before being wed. But he humbles himself, and resolves to return the women to their homes.

However Stockholm Syndrome has run its course, and the women would prefer to stay in the middle of nowhere with these brothers. Once the townsfolk come up to the farm to take the women back, they find the brothers chasing down the womenfolk in compliance with Adam's edict to return the women. First, they don't want to get captured by them to get taken up to the farm, and now they don't want to get captured to be taken back.

The scene makes me wonder if there is such a thing as "Cornball Irony."

People see what they want to, and assume they must be right, but some facts can't be denied, like a crying baby. Heaven forbid you have a child out of wedlock in the 50's, even moreso in 1889! As a way to get even, the women all admit to the baby being their own, and thus the movie ends with a wedding. A shotgun wedding, but hey, that's backwoods Hollywood!

Yet the musical is a fun piece of cinema, with some of the most insane choreography I've seen. Especially during the Barn Dance.

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers-Barn Dance - Free videos are just a click away

Movie Project - Day 28: Annie Get Your Gun

2011-01-28T12:00:00.000-07:00

Back to the Golden Age Classics with today's movie, Annie Get Your Gun is one of Richard Rogers and Oscar Hammerstien's many great achievements in musical cinema, but was a Broadway hit before gracing the silver screen. I imagined that Erini would have been captivated with all the different costumes, horses, cows, Indians, and countless other bits in the film. Yet, by the end of the movie, I was still the only person who had seen the entire movie beginning to end. That's not to say Erini didn't like Annie Oakley, she was quite transfixed during the shoot off at the beginning, one of my favourite scenes in which Annie bests Frank Butler, the reportedly best marksman in the world.

It's a bit of the classy, pretty/ugly girl who wins the guy in the end once the guy realizes he's a pompous jerk, but the story focuses more on the titular character, Annie. Also, there's a generous amount of a rags to riches story with Annie's talented shot being plucked from obscurity and put on the world stage. The greatest thing about the story is that it is based on real events.

Whether Annie Oakley was as quirky as Betty Hutton is a question that cannot be answered by history books, but it would have been interesting to see what the movie would have been like had Judy Garland been able to fill the role of Annie Oakley. True, she had the voice to carry the songs, but Betty Hutton's comic presence made it extremely entertaining to watch, most especially in the song, Anything You Can Do. While I could imagine Julie Garland singing, "There's No Business Like Show Business," Betty Hutton does a great job while not stealing the thunder from Ethel Merman trademark song.

My daughter, like most any child, has a funny way of paying attention to the movie while playing with five toys at the same time. After the song, "Anything You Can Do," which Caitlin and I sang along to, Erini started singing it! I didn't think she was paying attention at all, yet I've noticed if it's a song that my wife and I sing, she'll pay much closer attention.

Hence, I thought it best to have a week devoted to musicals. My mother-in-law credits Erini's early ambulatory motor skills due to her participation with me when I would play Dance Dance Revolution or just dance to whatever CD we had playing at the time. Yet I've also heard that girls usually develop gross motor skills before their fine motor skills. Either way, my daughter enjoys dancing, but singing not so much. She likes to sing with either myself or my wife just fine, but that's mostly because we already know the songs. Once she's built up a comfortable library of songs in her head, I'm sure I'll hear tunes streaming out of her.

Perhaps even the Aerosmith parody that plays in my head when I hear the title of this movie.

Movie Project - Day 27: Mamma Mia!

2011-01-27T12:00:00.000-07:00

Going from one side of the musical movie spectrum to the other, today my daughter and I watched Mamma Mia!: The Movie. Based on the Broadway Musical of the same name, sans "The Movie" of course, this feature has the classic tunes of disco sensation ABBA to fuel the campy flame of this feature.

A simple pebble of a plot starts an avalanche of trouble when the main character Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) sends out letters to three men that might be her father. Why she didn't ask them to get DNA testing done is beyond me, but for someone that's lived on a Greek island most her life, the option might not now have occurred to her. Of course, doing musical numbers at a medical lab would not have the same effect as a beach, boat, or old hotel.

With the arrival of the three men, Donna (Meryl Streep) and her daughter Sophie start a game of cat and mouse to keep their knowledge of the three potential fathers from each other, thinking that if one tells the other, it would be a great emotional blow to the other. It's rather funny to watch, yet after some time you start to wonder just how long they can keep this up.

Yet, that mother-daughter conflict is not the most painful part of the production. No, that would be reserved for Pierce Brosnan. His roles as Remmington Steele and James Bond established his place in Hollywood as a model of masculinity, but the was a reason he earned a Razzie nomination for his role as Sam. That reason was his singing. When he's singing with other people, he doesn't sound so bad, possibly because you can tune him out over the tone of the people that sound good. He can hit the notes, but they sound strained, almost like someone singing ABBA at a karaoke bar.

Another element that strikes at my adoration of this movie is the ending. Who's the dad? Who cares? You know what else? I don't need to get married? Let's just travel around the world and forget about legal unions! But not all is lost, for they still have a wedding, only it's Donna and Sam! It's only been 20 years since they last saw each other, but it's all well and good!

Some may ask, if I suffered through that before, why did I watch it again? Simply being, it's a fun show, and my daughter loves to dance to the music. The song that impacted me the most, and it's a stretch to say that ABBA leaves an impact on you, was "Slipping Through My Fingers."

I had to hug my daughter as I watched this song, and it was one of the songs I couldn't sing along to, especially with the phrase, "Try to capture every moment." I know my daughter is growing up, and knowing me, I'm going to blink and she'll be going to school, then graduating, then moving away from home. Will I record everything? Probably not.

That does not mean I should give up trying, nor will I.

Musical week is winding down to a close, but I'm going to try to squeeze in a few good ones. Tomorrow, I'm thinking "Annie Get Your Gun" since it has comedy, horses, and lots of guns. I did reserve "Hello Dolly!" from EPL, and if that comes in tomorrow, we might watch that one instead.

Movie Project - Day 26: Singin' in the Rain

2011-01-26T12:00:00.002-07:00

With a run time of an hour and two thirds, Erini was awake and active during the entire movie. Then again, it's rather difficult to get bored with Singing in the Rain. Donald O'Conner won a Golden Globe for his role as Cosmo, and that man has talent! His acting, singing, and dancing was something that rivaled his co-star Gene Kelly, if not outdid him. Erini, my wife, and myself were all watching in amazement, when we weren't laughing, during his number Make Them Laugh.

The plot is interesting since it's a bit of modern historical fiction. While Monumental Pictures was a fictitious company, they accurately inserted Warner Brothers production, "The Jazz Singer." When that 'talkie' hit the screens, it truly was the death knell for the silent film. All studios did change over to audio synced films, just as they all switched to colour a few years later, and just as Hollywood is now making the leap to digital filming.

I did enjoy the chaos that surrounded the pre-screening of "The Dueling Cavalier." As someone that has worked on the technical side of productions, I know what can go wrong, and that pre-screening followed Murphy's Law with exactness. The microphones picking up ambient sounds, actors forgetting their lines and going along with whatever they feel is good, and of course, sound cue mix ups.

An ironic bit of the movie was the foreshadowing for Debbie Reynold's career. In the movie, her character thinks it would be folly to do a voice over for the movie, since she couldn't possibly see any future in it. While we don't know what happened to Kathy Selden, Debbie Reynolds went on to have success on screen such as in The Unsinkable Molly Brown. Yet, she has also had a great success with voice work as well. Some of her roles include Charlotte from Charlotte's Web (1973), Lulu Pickels (Grandma) from Nickelodeon's Rugrats, and even Nana Possible from Disney's Kim Possible.

From beginning to end, Singing in the Rain is a joy to watch, simply because of the fact that you can see these people were enjoying themselves. I would have to watch the commentary track to confirm that statement, yet every song, every dance, and even the costumes showed concerted effort on most everyone involved in the production.

Maybe I'm taking it a bit far, but the fact that my daughter found this musical enjoyable, and that it has been referenced or parodied in numerous films and television shows as early as Alfred Hitchcock's 'North by Northwest' and as recent as Glee.

I wonder if Erini will have a new appreciation for the scene in Robots when Bender is "Singing in the Oil."

Movie Project - Day 25: Brigadoon

2011-01-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

What better way to celebrate the winter days than taking in a fantasy musical set in Scotland. As to how my girls enjoyed the movie, I would say that Erini would have enjoyed the entire movie had she not gotten tired.

According to my knowledge, this was the first Gene Kelly movie that my daughter has seen, and every time he was on screen, she didn't much care for his dancing. She was more enamoured with the women, and the flourishing dancing dresses they wore. I will admit the corseting and flounces were quite flattering, but if those costumes were accurate, there's no wonder as to why there was such widespread tuberculosis in the 18th and 19th centuries.

Erini also commented that Bronwyn liked the music, and I would like to think that she did. The Gaelic melodies backed the rustic 18th century village beautifully, and the wedding scene is phenomenal. Not as powerful as Tattoo but still very striking.

Watching this musical almost ten years later, a few things came to my attention. Though there is heavy emotion laden throughout the musical and dance numbers, none have any kind of eroticism blatantly displayed. You can tell the characters are in love, but the most daring things are the necklines and the kisses.

While the main characters are from New York City, you only see New York for a few minutes at the end. I can't speak from experience, but the portrayal of the busy restaurant and bar has quite the effect in contrasting the two worlds of modern day and the perpetually medieval Brigadoon.

One of the great things I love about this production is the question it raises: "What do you really need to be happy?" True, we have modern day amenities such as indoor plumbing and electricity that make our life easier, and much less disgusting, but there are things that are overlooked entirely with the digital age. Enjoying a bit of a walk, admiring the nature we have around us, and living for the moment.

That's not to say we should all liquidate our assets and make communes, but it takes to heart the old adage to "Stop and smell the roses." If life seems like it's getting too crazy, think about what you really need, and focus on that. In the case of the village of Brigadoon, it was the pastor that loved his parish such that we asked for them to be spared from the evil influences of the time. Letting the entire village sleep for 100 years every night seems a little much, but it's an interesting concept which works for the picture.

Some plot holes I noticed were how the town knew 100 years had passed the first time they awoke after the miracle occurred. In the story told to Tommy (Gene Kelly) the schoolteacher merely says, "When I awoke the next day, it was 100 years later." Was there another couple of gents who strolled by ridiculously lost and tried to buy milk, only they were shunned because it wasn't Charlie's wedding day? My guess is the money Tommy gives one of the merchants was recently printed and they all saw the printing date, and then drew the conclusion they had been asleep for two nights, and this note was printed in the 1950's, therefore they had been asleep for 200 years.

If they knew the story of Rip Van Winkle, I'm sure they would have chuckled and thought him an amateur.

Musical week continues tomorrow!

Movie Project - Day 24: Abbott and Costello - Jack and the Beanstalk

2011-01-24T12:00:00.000-07:00

Whether Bronwyn was happy to be watching a movie with me and her big sister, or whether she was just happy to not be cooped up in her bassinet, I can't really say. What I do know is both my girls enjoyed watching this Abbott and Costello flick. The change from sepia to colour didn't phase either of them, and they didn't really make any kind of comment about it. Bronwyn was happy with me bouncing her on my knee while Erini was taking in the whole picture on her usual stool in front of me.

We started watching it in the early evening, and we were all starting to drift at one point. I was tempted for a moment to turn it off, and call it a night, but after a brief pause and a drink of water, we were all good to the end. Older movies don't bore me, it's just a matter of staying awake after this hectic winter day. Pushing people out of snowdrifts is tough work.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Abbott and Costello are quite the pair on screen, and I was quite impressed with the physical humour of Lou Costello. He just took everything that came at him and kept going for more! After awhile, I started to wonder if he was acting, or just hurting himself. Either way, it was absurdly funny.

The story is simple enough, loosely following the fable of Jack and the Beanstalk. Costello plays Jack while Abbott plays the swindling Butcher who buys Jack's cow for five magic beans. Jack's mother who must be a very loving mother because she doesn't berate him at all for getting mere beans for their last valuable possession. An overnight growth, spurred by a fairly decent animation sequence, prods the production onward and upwards to the sky where the giant who has been terrorizing the town and stealing all sorts of produce, cattle (ie. Jack's cow, Henry), and the betrothed Prince and Princess.

The Prince and Princess are quite the pair, since they haven't met each other, but are both acquainted with Jack. The marriage has been arranged in a motion to save the failing economic state of Jack's village due to the constant pillaging of the giant. Jack helps with some matchmaking, and everything goes well. The reveal was a bit of a jolt for me, but everything works out in the end. It is a 50's comedy after all!

Erini had two favourite parts, or she's very in tune with her sister. This because when I asked Erini what her favourite part was, she told me, "When everyone is running around and chasing each other," then immediately following she added, "Bronwyn's favourite part was all the horses!"

There were a couple special features on the disc: A few Scene-It? style questions, and a biography section. I didn't bother with them as it was time to get Erini off to bed, and I didn't find the quiz questions until I put the DVD back in it's case.

Upon review of the list that I posted last week, I see that the only production I have not yet watched with my daughter is Brigadoon. I'm not sure if I should commit myself to a daily schedule of movies, but I can say this much, I'm going to focus on musicals for the next week. Also, I purchased a copy of 1001 Movies You Have to See Before You Die, so I'll be using that as a reference for movies to screen with my daughter.

I won't say which will appear on which day, but here's a list of the selections I have made for the coming week:
Brigadoon, The Sound of Music (with a run time of 174 min, that'll probably be next Saturday), The King and I, Meet Me In St. Louis, State Fair, Annie Get Your Gun, and maybe Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. Although if I found Hello Dolly! I'm sure she's watch that, thanks to Pixar.

Movie Project - Day 23: Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears A Who! (2008)

2011-01-23T12:00:00.002-07:00

For those who read yesterday's post and saw my note at the end indicating which movie would be next to review, please allow me to explain something. I have a three year old daughter. Usually I select the movie, but today being a weekend and one of the few days where she gets to be with daddy all day, I thought it best to indulge her and let her pick the movie.

This CGI animated version of the classic Dr. Seuss story is a favourite of my daughter's, and I'm not sure if it's due to the physical comedy, or the wonderful moral. It wouldn't be much of a stretch to say both. The voices for the characters were delightfully funny, and the improvised moments by Jim Carrey and Steve Carell added some interesting elements to the film that the animators used to the hilt. Some bits like 'Vlad the Bunny that makes cookies' came from something that Jim Carrey added, and while Steve Carell's line was a simple, "No," the chuckling and guffawing was entirely his own. Oddly enough, that's one of my favourite funny moments in the movie! Which was featured in the trailer that I watched many a time before seeing the movie. Huh. What are the odds of that?

For the first half of the movie, Erini didn't pay much attention to the movie, but she did sit and watch most parts. However, her attention was divided with another three year old we were babysitting, and she has seen the movie before, so she knew what was going on. About halfway through, we had to take a break for lunch, and we didn't get back to the movie until the evening after we had done some sledding.

Side note: The temperature in Edmonton was near 0C today. It would have been disrespectful not to enjoy the outdoors today!

When we picked up the movie in the evening, she cuddled with me for the entire time, and even commented about what was going on. She must have been really tired, because she usually shrieks during scary parts, but it could have also been that I was there with her. Although there are some movies that scare her, she does better when I'm watching with her. Some psychologist could probably bubble over with all sorts of talk about how father figures provide a more stable mindset, but I didn't study the science of the soul. All I know is that she is attentive to details, such as when Horton was sorting through all the clovers to find the one with the Who-ville speck, she commented that he needed to find 'the stripy one' as the correct clover had yellow stripes on the stem. Another part that she talked about was when Rudy, the joey kangaroo, saved the flower from destruction. From the point the flower was taken from Horton, that's all she would talk about.

Did she realize why he grabbed the flower and gave it back to Horton? I'm not sure. She did note that it was an important part, since she talks about things that she finds important. Or funny. And that part wasn't funny so much as poignant.

Although the music is wonderful and uplifting, I myself wouldn't go out and get the soundtrack like I did with Tangled. The main reason is that the cast singing REO Speedwagon was not featured on the soundtrack album. Boo.

While this movie was rated Certified Fresh by Rotten Tomatoes, the widespread critical acclaim was not ebullient with praise for it. Compared to previous Dr. Seuss productions done by Hollywood, it was a breath of fresh air. Compared to other movies, it was okay.

I must say that animation is the better format for Dr. Seuss material, as is evident by the scene where the Mayor stacks a precarious pile of particular pieces to purge a problematic pendulum of peril. If that was done live action, it would have looked like he was piling stuff up in order to remove a chandelier.

I really hope they produce another animated Dr. Seuss movie, but if they don't, I will be more than willing to read the books with my daughter, and insert my own funny voices and improvisations. But I won't read it this fast.

Movie Project - Day 22: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

2011-01-22T12:00:00.001-07:00

What do swimming lessons, shoveling snow off a roof, and general tardiness have to do with today's review? They all prevented me from watching this movie with my daughter this week! But the weekend has come, and I have run out of excuses to put off this classic comedy further. I almost put it aside in favour of a movie that Erini had selected, and it wasn't a Disney movie. I almost relented, but decided to stick it out.

In the end, I'm not sure if it would have mattered because most of the movie she spent running around with my friend's son. Needless to say, Erini will be living up to her name tonight.

Released to theaters in 1966, this Tony Award winning Broadway show was adapted for the screen with a number of the original cast. Right from the start, it's portrayed as quite the zany and funny film with the song "Comedy Tonight." I had forgotten just how bawdy it was, although I did remember a large part of the film deals with a courtesan house, and there were a few moments that I wondered if this was a good idea after all.

Then came the ever important running plot element, the mare sweat sleeping draught. What's funny about mare sweat? Aside from raw sewage, it's one of the more disgusting things that came from the Roman Era, so you would think it wouldn't be all that funny. Yet Hero, the master of the main character, Pseudolous, continues around Rome looking for a sweating horse. How the writers thought of putting a horse in a sweat lodge, I'll never know. Quite frankly, I think I'm better off. Yet those horses kept my daughter's wavering attention through the course of the movie, up to her favourite part, the chariot chase.

Chariots of Fire
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum at MOVIECLIPS.com

A memorable, albeit brief, chase scene that I'm sure she'll still think is funny when we watch with Bronwyn some years down the road.

Some staunchly conservative folk probably stopped reading this when they saw the DVD cover I have posted. I'm sure their thoughts are something along these lines: "How could this father fathom the thought of showing his impressionable daughter, who is not even four years old, a film featuring Romans, slaves, courtesans, and men posing as courtesans?" "This is lewd, crude, and anyone who thinking this is funny will most certainly be spending the course of eternity burning in the fire of their own condemnation."

Humour is one of the most difficult things to teach, since it involves a very broad spectrum of dramatic elements and requires a vast array of knowledge. Even with those two key characteristics in place, it requires the viewer to be in the proper mindset be receptive to the comedy presented. High brow, low brow, intelligent, slapstick, dark, practical, and the list goes on with the number of different types of comedy, all of which are weighted by personal taste. Some people can't get enough of Dane Cook and Larry the Cable Guy, while others will not stray from Reader's Digest.

Is this something I would put on for her to watch by herself? No. In a perfect world, my daughter and I would watch everything together. The world is not perfect and I am even further from it, so I do my best to allow my daughter to view a variety of comic situations as to allow her to develop her own sense of humour and appreciation for film.

Also, I'm not going to be around all the time to make her laugh.

Next up: Abbott and Costello - Jack and the Beanstalk

Evil Never Sounded So Good

2011-01-21T12:00:00.000-07:00

I apologize to everyone expecting to see my write up about my daughter and I watching A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. Tomorrow, I am going to stay up as late as necessary to watch the movie and write about it!

This may be going against my plan to steer away from Disney for a little while, but this is a compilation CD of Disney Villain songs, and it's quite the mix! The CD follows the villain songs in chronological order of the release of the films featuring the songs and when all these songs are put together, it makes you step back for a moment and almost admire the work that went into these villains.

Some of the songs I was a little curious as to why they were chosen for the album. For example, "I Wanna Be Like You" is the theme for King Louie in "The Jungle Book" but I questioned the degree of villainy in this character. He's a fun-loving, scat-singing, banana-eating orangutan, and the most villainous thing he was was tempt Mowgli to stay in the jungle. He didn't try to kill him like Shere Khan; he didn't try to eat him like Kaa attempted; he didn't even pick him up in a fit of indignation like Cornell Hathi. Then again, this is an orangutan, and they do have their nasty sides. Goes to show that villainy can also be categorized with mischievousness. Oddly enough, mischief is a misdemeanor that can have you placed under arrest. Not that I know from experience.

I'm sure Erini would have enjoyed the album a lot more if she wasn't adamant about having a story read to her, but she did join in the dancing, especially when Caitlin and I danced a little Samba to Yzma's song, "Snuff Out the Light" sung by Eartha Kitt, which was cut from the final film. Bit of shame because it's a fun tune that makes you want to get up and dance.

I found it fascinating that Oogie Boogie's song "You're Joking" was on this disc, and I found it further fascinating that it was right after "Gaston" from Beauty and the Beast. While accurate in chronology, it's quite the switch to have a burly bully singing a pub song, then have the jazzy Oogie Boogie man sing about how he wants to gamble away his victim's life.

My favourite song on the disc - and I would say Erini's favourite as well - is the song of Doctor Fascilier, "Friends on the Other Side." Perhaps it's because it's in my voice range, or just the fluidity of the jazz beat. It's a very inviting song, deceptively smooth, but in the final lines there's this marvelous phrase that has deep wisdom with it, "You got what you wanted, but you lost what you had." A bit of a twist on the old adage, "Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it," but just as strong.

The song that confused me the most as to why it was on the CD was the first track. "Pink Elephants on Parade." If the pink elephants are villains, then why aren't there more villains that can be defeated with a good sleep and coffee?

"What'll we do, Batman?"

"Fetch me an espresso, Robin, and I'll show you how to handle these Pink Elephants!"

That would be way too anticlimactic.

On with the SNOW

2011-01-20T12:00:00.001-07:00

For those of you who have been following my Movie Project post, I want to say thank you for reading. This has been a bit of a challenge for me, and I plan to continue throughout the year.

Next, I would like to apologize, because today I will not be posting a project entry about my daughter's reaction to media, be it movie, television, or video game. Although I did pick up a CD at the library that had covers of Disney songs, and she liked the version of "Bare Necessities" by Bowling for Soup.

I felt this would be the perfect opportunity to relate the fact that I don't spend all my time indoors with my daughter sitting in front of the television. In fact this past weekend, I rented some snowshoes for everyone in my family who can walk, namely myself, my wife, and Erini. It would be rather pointless to get some for Bronwyn as she hasn't yet figured out crawling. Though she just recently figured out rolling over! She still working on perfecting it, but she's making progress.

My memories of snowshoeing with my dad were vastly different than how it went with my daughter. First, I rented some MSR snowshoes, which are much different than the regular snowshoes that are almost as wide as they are long. But there was less of a chance of catching your feet on the snowshoes and falling over. Though Erini did plenty of that. It got to the point that she would fall over on purpose just so I would come over and pick her up!

There was plenty of snow to walk in, even though we were only in the backyard. Edmonton and area has received the heaviest snowfall in thirty years, so the 45cm of snow in the past three weeks has caused havoc on the roads, and created pristine fields to go mucking around in. On Saturday, once Erini was down for the night and Bronwyn was resting, making it easier for Grandma and Grandpa to hold down the fort, my wife and I did a moonlight snowshoe. We had quite the fun, though we were only out for 45 minutes. When we got back, I could feel the perspiration beading on my forehead. No wonder traditional Inuit diet is mostly fat! If I was walking around all day, everyday wearing snowshoes, I would need to eat like that too!

Other winter activities my daughter enjoys is sledding. Our first run of the season back in December was rather lack-luster, since it was all powder on the hill. No base. Once I had packed down the hill a bit with a few failed attempts, things went along much better! By the time I had accomplished this, Erini had figured out that the slides are much fast when they're cold, and was zipping down the long slide quite quickly. Quite understandable since the coefficient of friction of cold metal on polyester is minimal.

Well, I have had my snow day, so tomorrow I hope that I'll finally be able to sit down and watch Something Funny Happened on the Way to the Forum!

Movie Project - Day 21: Red Skelton

2011-01-19T12:00:00.001-07:00

Due to a very busy evening, I did not have the one hour forty three minutes required to view Something Funny Happened on the Way to the Forum. Therefore, that has been pushed to tomorrow night. In its place, I watched an episode of the Red Skelton Show with my daughter.

I'm starting to wonder if she likes watching these shows and movies with me simply because she gets to spend time with me, or because she get to eat popcorn while watching it. In any case, I'm not sure how much she understood in the episode since much of the jokes were quite clever, for example when Clem (Skelton) and his father are trying to figure out what exactly is the black, gooey stuff on their property, the father remarks, "It's kind of oily, isn't it?" Clem's response: "No, it's about noon." I had to think about that one for a moment, and I believe the only reason Erini laughed at the joke was because I was laughing.

The physical comedy cracked her up to no end. Whether it was falling down on his face, or ripping his pants, she found all the exaggerated actions very funny, as did I. How can you not find someone tripping over a carpet funny? If you're the one the tripped you find it funny in hindsight, but some visual gags appeal to all ages.

I'd like to say that it's a shame that Red Skelton died, but he lived a very full life, and had an extensive career in the entertainment industry. Of course the most well known thing he did was The Red Skelton Show, and I look forward to watching more episodes with my daughter. Although some of the jokes involve a knowledge of the current events of the times, I'm very pleased to say that I don't need to worry about my daughter repeating anything about the show. Not so with current television. I do love watching Castle and CSI:NY, but I can't sit down and watch that with her now. I used to, and the medical information for shows like House and Bones gave me a bit of motivation to teach my daughter the names of her bones, such as phalanges, metatarsals, metacarpals, tibia, fibula, patella, and femurs. Little did I know the bone knowledge came in handy when she saw Tangled. "Though I do like breaking femurs/ you can count me with dreamers/ 'cause way down deep inside I've got a dream."

Not sure if she quite understood the song, but we're working on that too.

Again, this entertainment is from a different time, when being edgy was kissing on screen. I know that my daughter is not going to be innocent forever, but if I can extend that window of time a little bit longer, then maybe she won't grow up so fast. Perhaps I'll be able to blink my eyes twice before she asks to drive the car, instead of just once.

Movie Project - Day 20:Race for you Life, Charlie Brown!

2011-01-18T12:00:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, we broke out some new toothbrushes for Erini. Nothing unusual about the soft bristled and brightly coloured brushes featuring cartoon characters, save one small detail. Erini did not recognize the character, which made me question my parenting since it was a Snoopy toothbrush! My daughter did not know about Snoopy, Woodstock, Charlie Brown, or anyone else in the Peanuts gang.

I somewhat felt like I had failed as a parent and was in danger of losing my 'Daddy' status and be relegated to being a 'Father.' Perish the thought!

I resolved to remedy this and scoured my in-laws movie collection to find some sort of Peanuts feature. Lo and behold, I found 'Race for your Life, Charlie Brown!' If we had got those brushes out last month I would have looked through the TV listings and watched 'A Charlie Brown Christmas' with her. Unfortunately, that program will not be aired on TV for at least ten months, so I made do with what I had on hand.

Erini complained at first, but after she curled up on my lap with some popcorn, we were good to go. This was once again a venture into virgin territory for me, as I had again selected a film that I had not seen before. I am hoping this begins to produce better results, because the results were similar to Asterix Conquers America.

Peanuts characters have always had a special place for me, so this was a fresh taste of nostalgia, if that is such a thing. Every minute Snoopy and Woodstock were on the screen, it was sheer elation at the whimsy and silliness that emanated from those two ingenious, yet silent, characters.

My daughter must have an appetite for mayhem, because her favourite part was when, "Everyone crashed." It was rather comical watching the bullies constantly crash or get their boat stuck during the raft race, and it was all the better when Snoopy gave the bullies' cat what was coming to him at the end of the movie. She was also giggling at Snoopy and Woodstock's antics throughout the show, and she was very happy when Woodstock built his own little raft out of twigs and a leaf to sail across the finish line and win the race.

While this movie could be picked apart with all the inconsistencies and lack of explanations, I did my best to overlook them and enjoy it all. But what irked me was the snow. From what I could gauge, the camp was in the middle of nowhere, and at first it seemed it was a desert, but then they were in the mountains where the river rafting race took place. It would be logical to assume that the camp took place in the summer, and while I have heard of some summer camps experiencing snow, it's extremely rare, and the temperatures don't drop quite that far. Also, is the snow dropped to the point that people started thinking about getting a Christmas tree instead of the race which the entire show is about, you would think more about basic survival against the elements, which was not mentioned very little. When Charlie Brown exclaims his disgust that the girls are thinking about getting a Christmas tree instead of finishing the race they were in, I echoed his sentiments by saying, "Finally, someone said it!"

The plot hole cabin is not explained as to who owns it, or if it was abandoned. I kept expecting the proprietor to show up, but the only character to knock on the door aside from the Peanuts crew was a bear who ran away when Snoopy freaked out at him. Perhaps this cabin was inspiration for Daniel Myrick & Eduardo Sánchez. I was also a little annoyed by the lack on consistency with the layout of the cabin. When Snoopy first enters the dark cabin, his foot goes through a plank in the floor. This made a substantial hole in the floor, but later on during the dance scene, it is completely ignored. Although the hole is still in the background, Snoopy and Peppermint Patty dance right on it, but don't fall in. I was secretly hoping they would and had a chuckle at the top of my throat, but to no avail.

Sometimes I envy my daughter who can just watch the movie and not worry about the parts that make no sense.

I'm going back to something familiar, something peculiar, something for everyone: A Comedy To-(morrow)-night!
NOTE: Although I have both on hand, I'm putting on Something Funny Happened on the Way to the Forum, not the Muppet Show Season 1.

Movie Project - Day 19: Asterix Conquers America

2011-01-17T12:00:00.002-07:00

This was quite the unique experience for me. Usually I watch a movie with my daughter that I've seen before, and that I've enjoyed immensely. Something that I know would be a good movie for her to see and contribute to her film education. Asterix Conquers America was a bit of a departure from those characteristics.

First, I had not seen this feature previously, but had read the book it was based on. This animated feature was on par with the book in terms of character representation and storyline then added to it rounding out the story a bit more, but that's not really a good thing. The book itself was alright, but not the best, with a paper thin plot and character depth to match. Asterix stories usually have a bit more weight and a lot more comedy.

Second, I wanted to like this movie, I really did, and I really tried. The DVD itself was hard to watch because the dialogue was rather difficult to understand and there were no subtitles. Not even French subtitles, which surprised me since it is a French film. Only with the volume cranked to a less than comfortable level did I finally convince myself that this really was an English track, since some of the characters had ridiculous accents, like-a thee Ita-li-ano Centurian who kept referring to his Legionnaires as various pastas and meats. *Wince* Even though the commander was one of the antagonists that you're supposed to hate, I just couldn't wait for his scenes to be finished, and when Obelix threw him across the forest I had a small desire to cheer.

Rini was quite happy to be watching the movie no matter how silly things got and how disjointed the characters seemed. Even the music, which I found to be rather disconnected to say the least, my daughter seemed to enjoy. When the credits rolled a steady techno song started playing to which she got up, started dancing, and encouraged me to join in.

I attest most of her good behaviour to the popcorn she ate during the movie. Food tends to help her calm down, especially since I vetoed her idea to watch "A Bug's Life." I was very happy that she wanted to watch a Pixar movie, but for the next little while I'm going to try to focus on movies that are not animated and/or not Disney.

The schedule I have right now is as follows:
Jan 18 - Race for your Life, Charlie Brown! (My daughter does not know Snoopy. If I do not correct this, I fear I will fail as a father.)
Jan 19 - A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
Jan 20 - Red Skelton
Jan 21 - Abbott and Costello: Jack and the Beanstalk
Jan 22 - Brigadoon (This was the first musical I saw, not counting Sound of Music or any Disney movies, and it got me hooked on them)

I look forward to your comments!

Movie Project - Day 18: STOMP Live

2011-01-16T12:00:00.000-07:00

With my daughter's interest in music and general noisemaking, I figured she would appreciate STOMP Live. If you gauge appreciation by the amount of time that she sat still and watched, then she appreciated most of the production, and none of the special features.

One of the reasons she might have been a little bored with STOMP is due to the fact that it's not animated, but the outfits the cast sported were not all that glittery and glitzy. Granted the performers create their own characters, complete with outfits, so STOMP continues to change and evolve as the years progress.

I had seen some previous productions of STOMP and have always enjoyed their passion and energy. This DVD had a couple of new numbers, such as the sinks (Rini thought it was funny when they were draining them into the cans), the sand scraping (Rini exclaimed that they were making a mess), and the newspapers. (Rini thought they were being silly, and one guy was quite the screwball)

Whether Rini fully appreciated the mixture of rhythm, dance, and music that was produced from this organized chaos I'm not sure. On the other hand, I could see her enjoying this later on when her attention span is long enough to be measured in minutes rather than nanoseconds.

Yet STOMP is a very engaging production. You have people using all sorts of materials to create a musical production, like matchboxes, and every number uses something different. Then again, perhaps that's where the difficultly lies. So much change, and it's a bit of an overload on the senses.

I would love to watch this again with her, but I wouldn't bring this on a road trip. Then again, there would be no annoying songs to sing.

Movie Project - Day 17: The Day The Earth Stood Still (

2011-01-15T12:00:00.001-07:00

This is probably the oldest movie that I sat down and watched with my daughter, and to my surprise, this was also Grandma and Grandpa's first time watching it too. Caitlin had only seen bits and pieces, and with all the fuss that Bronwyn was making, it was no different today. I was the sole person who had seen the 1951 version beginning to end.

I had to do my best to keep my mouth shut, even when my mother-in-law flat out asked for spoilers. If she had seen the movie before, I would have no problem reminding her what happened. I've had enough trouble with giving spoilers about the movie while watching it.

I'm not sure if Rini fully absorbed what was going on due to a few reasons: 1. The movie relied on exposition to move the plot, 2. The movie was completely done in black and white, yet she did pay attention to it for the more part, and 3. We started watching the movie about a third of the way into it.

One of the great things I love about this movie is how it portrays interplanetary beings. Klaatu was able to intermingle with the general population because he looked like s regular human being. That's one of the things I strongly believe. Meeting an alien from another planet would be much like meeting someone from outside your country, or from another side of the world. When I was in Greece, some things seemed rather alien to me. I can only imagine how people would have thought of me.

Even living in Quebec can seem a little alien to other Canadians. Different language, different traffic laws, different standards of courtesy, and different tax laws. One of the few places I have heard of where they actually have a tax on tax.

Though, Rini did see the end where Klaatu tells everyone that they need to get along or Earth will be annihilated, but I'm not sure if that's the thing that she'll remember. I know that I'll mark this day as the first time Rini heard the words "Klaatu barada nikto" in their proper context. Three of the most well known words is the history of science fiction, probably due to the fact that it's never mentioned what the phrase actually means.

Would I watch this again with Rini? Definitely. It's a great classic film and a masterpiece of science fiction. I've considered trying to find a copy of it, and came rather close to purchasing a copy of it. The only reason I didn't was because I didn't want to have a copy of the 2008 remake. Back in 2009, the original was bundled with the remake, and I saw it a waste of money. Perhaps I was callous in my decision, but time will tell.

What are you looking forward to?

2011-01-14T00:13:00.001-07:00

Taking a break from the Movie Project, I'm going address one of the post a day topics, "What are you looking forward to?" A bit of an ambiguous question, because it doesn't specific the terms of how far forward we're talking about. At the same time, Cornelius Robinson's motto of "Keep Moving Forward" are wise words.

In the short term, I'm looking forward to the Meet, Tweet, and Greet this Saturday. This event is looking be a great gathering of writers throughout the city, and who knows, might give me some good job leads. At the very least, it will serve as inspiration to continue writing, even when I feel horribly tired and worn. Plus, I've wanted to meet Marty Chan for years now. I love his submissions to the Edmonton Journal!

Along the longer stretch, I'm looking forward to news from my boss regarding his old computer. He said he was upgrading and would no longer require his old computer, and said he'll let me know more details about letting me have the old rig once more details appear. One of those details would be the new computer. I haven't heard anything as of yet, but things have been a little crazy around the office.

Still, if I do get the old computer, I might donate it to my friends the Kerns. They got a Mac Mini for Christmas, an older one circa 2005, with a 1.25Ghz G4 processor with 512MB RAM. It's currently running OS 10.3.9 aka Panther, which is good. If it was 2005. In this day and age, the most current OS is Snow Leopard, OS 10.6.3, which is available for $35 at the Apple Store. Which I got for their computer, since their poor like churchmice. All you Mac champions are either snickering at my frustration or gasping at my stupidity, as I set the startup disk for a network connection amoung other silly things. I'm starting to think the easiest way to fix their computer problems would be with another computer! In order to get their Mac Mini in a better operating condition, it would require an upgrade to Tiger, which was released in 2005, and was replaced with Leopard in 2007. Snow Leopard has been released in the meantime, and Lion is going to be gracing us all soon. So where do you get Tiger legally? It's starting to look like you don't. I'm looking forward to when they'll have a computer that just works.

I can think of a number of movies that I'm looking forward to, along with Rini's fourth birthday, she'll be into the triple digits! (in Binary) And I'm also looking forward to swimming with her more and more, especially since she's taking lessons. Is she going to be a world class athlete? Eh, probably not, but she could. In any case, swimming is one of those things that's good to know, and could save your life one day.

With a little baby in the house, a couple of things I look forward to with her. Namely, I look forward to when she'll sleep somewhere other than our room, and I also look forward to when I don't have to worry about her waking in the middle of the night. Whenever that will happen.

In the very near future, Caitlin and I might be moving our family to a place of our own, something we've both been very much looking forward to! Leduc housing recent had an opening in Beaumont, and Caitlin went to see the apartment today. Yes, there are apartments in Beaumont, 2 bdrm, and it would be on par with the apartment we had when Rini was born. The main difference is there is a storage locker, which cuts down on the square footage of the actual apartment, but still makes for about the same amount of storage. Rent will be affordable, and when we have another child, we'll be able to apply for a larger unit. Assuming that child is a boy. And assuming we have another child.

Last but not least, I'm looking forward to sleep. Or a nap. Or just an extended blink.

Movie Project - Day 16: Kirby's Epic Yarn

2011-01-13T12:00:00.004-07:00

This time I am REALLY bending the definition of Movie Project, since Kirby's Epic Yarn is not even a movie. It's a sidescrolling platformer for Nintendo Wii, and the reason I have put it in with this series, is because to my daughter it was a movie. She never played it, she just watched me play it. Plus all the cut scene cinematics are narrated with a children's story book voice. Hence, I thought it was the perfect game to play with Rini. All the characters are made of yarn, and they don't die, they just get unwound. And Kirby makes the cutest sounds.

Plus, since Kirby is made of yarn, he can transform himself into all sorts of things: a car; a heavy weight; and Rini's favourite, a parachute. With the aid of various power ups, you can also transform into a tank, train, snowboarding penguin, digger, spaceship (than can suck up enimies), and even a dolphin. It's a lot of fun, and quite challenging at times. It's not an impossible game, but there are some elements that can be very frustrating.

Rini didn't know this, but getting the car going was a bit of a pain. I'm used to the Mario side scrolling controls, but if you try pressing 1 in order to go faster, you're in trouble. What you do is tap the direction arrow either left or right twice. The parachute was easy, You just jump then press 2 once more and hold it. I think it was the 'pop' sound that Rini really enjoyed. She would always giggle when I did that!

The game does have it's replayability factors, such as the mini games that you can access once you furnish the apartments for the sprites that are looking for places to live. Yes, you can do interior design in this game. Change wallpaper, flooring, even do reupholstering with over one hundred types of fabric. I only got about half of them, but once I beat the final boss, I didn't really want to go back through all the levels and get the Gold Medal status for each one, and gather all the furniture items, and get through all the mini games just to have 100% completion on every element of the game! It would have been fun to do the bell ringing, but it was enough just to get all the cinematics. Once you achieve 100% in a certain category, a bell appears above the section counter. Once you have everything at 100% you have a full C scale of bells, which is fun to ring and play music. But it you want to play music on the Wii that bad, go get Wii Music. Or better yet, play an instrument!

The boss fights tended to frighten Rini somewhat, but she is a bit of a drama princess, but she always enjoyed watching the parts of Patch Land get sewn together with the magic yarn. My favourite cinematic was the cake eating contest. I didn't mind the children book narration, and it actually gave me the idea to record a reading of a children's book myself.

I can see some older people getting annoyed with the cinematics, but I can also see them enjoying the craziness of the levels. It is a bit of a challenge to get absolutely everything in this game, but to clear all the levels and see how the story plays out isn't quite as tough.

Rini wouldn't know either way, but she had a lot of fun, and if there was another game of similar epic nature that could also teach my daughter shape recognition like the furnishing jobs did, I would welcome that.

Besides, after Rini was watching me play Zelda:Twilight Princess, and she got caught up in the wolf attack action by shouting, "Kill him! Kill him!" I got a little worried. Mario Kart and Kirby are great staples now.

And Rabbids.

Movie Project - Day 15: Shaun the Sheep

2011-01-12T12:00:00.000-07:00

Cheating a bit for this one, since the DVD set we have is a collection of the First Season episodes of the series. But it is a spin off of a character introduced in another famous Aardman production, A Close Shave. Shaun the Sheep is just that. A sheep in a farmer's herd in some place off in the in hinterlands of the British Isles. It's a fair bet that it's somewhere in England, but I have to watch all the episodes to be sure about that.

One of the big draws for my daughter in liking this series is the simple fact that the episodes are short. Every episode is about 5 minutes in length, and you might think they're trying to make a quick buck by recycling animation and just churning out dross. Not so. First off, I would imagine they have the average run time at 5 minutes because the entire production is done the same way as most all other Aardman productions (with the exception being Flushed Away) as they are done via Stop Motion. Making puppets and clay figures and having them animated one cell at a time. Really is quite a marvel, and Shaun tends to have quite the interesting adventures encased in the five minutes. Are they something that would make you rethink how the world works? Not really. Are they funny? Very much so! The episodes are riddled with gags which are quite easy to understand since only the title song has any words. Shaun and his flock all communicate via bleating, yet there is enough intonation that you can understand when they're happy, frustrated, angry, or sad. Even the farmer doesn't talk, but rather has his own method of mumbling. His loyal herding dog ensures the sheep tow the line, but sometimes he needs help from Shaun to make things work in the end.

It's a very interesting watching the forces of the barnyard play out amoung themselves, though it's curious to note the animals alternate between ambulating on four feet and two. Upon reflection, the two feet position is taken when they are trying to be more authoritative or be anthropomorphous. Such as when the dog is charged with bathing the sheep, yet there's no hot water. A duck lands in the water and freezes solid, but the dog persists to get the sheep in. Shaun takes command at this point and subtly shoos the sheep back from the water. The sheep then hatch a plan to drain the farmer's tub which is full of hot water. This ridiculous plan involves making a hose out of bits they find in the junk pile, and one sheep climbing a utility pole, in full technician's gear as well, and hooking into the phone line with a line testing phone. The sheep with the phone dials the farmer's house, and pulls the farmer away from the bath. In order to dupe the farmer to stay on the line long enough to drain the tub, the sheep holds the phone in front of a bird sitting on the wire, who then chirps incessantly until the farmer hangs up the phone in frustration and bewilderment. Meanwhile, the tub has been drained – or rather siphoned – dry leaving the farmer without a bath, and the sheep then have a pool party in the livestock washing basin.

Where they got the martini's, I do not know. Probably the same place they found the technician's helmet and belt that fit sheep. A show like this, you don't ask questions, you just take it in. It's silly, it's fun, and if you try to take it seriously, just watch something else.

Movie Project - Day 14: Tangled

2011-01-11T12:00:00.000-07:00

I am cheating a little on this one, as Erini and I went and saw this 21 December 2010. My memory on everything that happened might be a bit fuzzy, but my daughter loves to talk about her favourite parts, characters, and just the movie in general. So, maybe not. All the same, SPOILER ALERT!

This poster was the best one I could find to feature in this entry because it features all of Erini's favourite characters. First, Maximus, the Captain's horse who later becomes the commander of law enforcement. Not sure what his rank was in the end, but he was saluted with frying pans, something that I'm sure he put into regulations. Exactly how a horse that cannot speak would put forward regulations, but we're also dealing with a time period where 99% of the population was illiterate. Also it's Disney and more importantly, Hollywood. Just forget it and enjoy the show.

Second, Pascal, Rapunzel's chameleon who is a good sport to all her antics and activities that she does to stave off boredom and make the time pass. Whenever we read her animal book, Erini makes it very important to point out the chameleon. She's starting to call it a chameleon instead of Pascal, but that's just how much she likes this character. I figured she would think he was funny, but when he poked Flynn in the face with his tail, she was sold. Poking is an inside joke for our family. Poke to the face, even funnier. So there you go Disney. You want another memorable character? Make sure they poke people.

I'm not sure how Erini felt about the villains/bad guys, but when Rapunzel and Flynn enter The Snuggly Duckling, she was a little scared and wanted to leave the theatre. Think quickly, since I had seen the movie before, I told her they were going to sing a song right away. To that she replied, "Okay," and sat down. I was relieved that she calmed down, because although we were at the 2D Tuesday screening, it was still a little pricey to go to South Edmonton Common. "I've Got a Dream" was a very fun number that Rini enjoyed as much as I did. But they were not the antagonists. The twins, who I think bear a very strong resemblance to Kay from Sword in the Stone, were kind of mean and wicked, and made for good contrast to Flynn's demeanor.

However, Donna Murphy's performance as Mother Gothel was the show stealer. Taking quite a departure from the roles I remember her from in Spider-Man 2 and Star Trek:Insurrection, she plays a very strong antagonist. The term villain seems a little strong, until you think about the fact that she has lied to Rapunzel all her life, just to keep the healing abilities of the flower to herself. And not just for a week or two, but eighteen years. You could wear out a thesaurus looking up all the words to describe a person like that, but here comeuppance was quite the surprise.

Most Disney Villains meet their demise by, what I like to refer to as, the "Disney Fall." First met by the Evil Queen in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, lightning strikes the cliff she was standing on, and she falls to her death. Though we are not given any evidence of it. Oddly enough, this was brought to my attention in a promotional book for The Hunchback of Notre Dame, in which the villain, Judge Frollo, falls to his death into a lake of molten lead. Ouch. After that, I noted all the other villains that meet their fate through the "Disney Fall." Gaston from Beauty and the Beast; Clayton from Tarzan; Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty (she does get hit with the sword first, but then falls over, then off the precipice they were fighting on); Rourke from Atlantis-The Lost Empire. The list goes on.

The very interesting thing about Mother Gothel's end is that it is handed by the animal sidekick. Usually the main character is involved, or the secondary characters. In this case, once Flynn/Eugene cuts Rapunzel's hair, Mother Gothel has met her end. Normal fare for Disney, but the character that seals her fate is Pascal. He take a bit of Rapunzel's cute and magic-less hair and trips Mother Gothel as she's stumbling around the room. This causes her to lose her balance and sends her falling to her doom, ending with an empty robe at the bottom of the tower. She had long wasted away, and the magic of the flower was her only anchor to the world. Though she put on a wonderful act to show that she cared for Rapunzel, she really only cared about the flower. She had nothing else to live for. Once that was gone, so was she. So was it truly a "Disney Fall?" The fall was not her end, but it was the final nail in the coffin, so I would say yes, but it was a very good version of the "fall."

Will this be going on the 'Must Own' list? Most definitely, but the question is which combo pack? Goodness knows that by the time it's released for home viewing, there will be the 3D Blu-ray combo pack with the 3D Blu-ray, Blu-ray, DVD, AND the digital copy. If that's the only version available, then yes, I'll get that. If I can get a version without the 3D, and it's cheaper, then I'll go with that. Knowing me, I'll probably scour the internet to find a coupon for the 3D combo pack. But that's something that we'll address at length.

I was hoping to get through this without using a pun like that. Nuts.

Movie Project – Day 13: The Jungle Book (1967)

2011-01-10T12:00:00.001-07:00

Not every movie is artful and inspiring like Fantasia, but Disney can convey some simple stories to the screen in a very intriguing and memorable way. The animated adaptation of Rudyard Kipling's collection of stories is one of my earliest purchases, if you could call it that. I received this movie free with my purchase of the Platinum Edition of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. I was considering getting 101 Dalmations instead, and I knew there were some people buying multiple copies of Snow White just to get all the movies they could. There were eight possible movies to choose from when you pre-ordered the Platinum Edition, Disney Store exclusive offer. I'm assuming they don't do the free movies anymore because of the demand they had for the first one. I could be wrong.

Regardless of what Disney decided to do, the disc is very limited in features. The special features are reduced to film recommendations, and the only other audio tracks are the French and Spanish versions. I was pleased that they did have the English subtitles, but that was all. It is a very bare bones disc, but I got what I paid for I suppose.

Not to say that Erini didn't like the movie, quite the contrary. She enjoyed it thoroughly, and even got up and danced during "I Wanna Be Like You." Go figure that my little monkey of a girl enjoyed the monkeys the most. Baloo was also one of her favourites, and who doesn't like "The Bare Necessities," I ask you? Most especially Baloo bore a strong resemblance to Grandpa Tolley, and this wasn't just my imagining. When we informed him later on that we watched this movie, he put on a short performance of petulance that we did not invite him to watch. He then told us that he and Baloo were kindred spirits, or something of that sort, and he did a bit of Baloo's back scratching dance that was spot on.

Will Rini ask to watch this movie again? Maybe. If we mention the monkeys, I can see her asking again, and if we leave the disc out, I'm sure she would remember it.

Though the disc does not have a lot of special features, I'm not that sore about it. The audio is Dolby 2.0, as opposed to the 5.1 remastered track for the 40th Anniversary Edition released in 2003, but the music and performance of the characters still rings true and was quite level for the entirety of the film.

I still find the vultures to be my favourite part of the film.

Movie Project – Day 12: The Sword in the Stone

2011-01-09T17:15:00.004-07:00

On a snowy day, what better movie can you think of that teaches the importance of brain over brawn. However, it was also Sunday, and watching a movie that features sorcery and wizardry as the main elements of the plot would seen as a poor choice of film for today. I find solace in the fact that I'm educating my daughter in the history of animated film, and not forcing a perfect piano performance out of her. That'll be for next week. Maybe. Though Rini is starting swimming lessons this week, so that gives us something for her to excel in and a channel for my wife and I to push her extreme limits and heap our aspirations of her competing in the 2024 Olympics Games.

Oddly enough, that segues rather nicely into the movie we watched today. Here you have this little kid, 10 maybe 12 years old as Merlin puts it, and he goes through all sorts of rigors to get an education about how the world works. Wart has no idea what this is all about, and Merlin doesn't either. All Merlin knows is that educating this child is a very important thing, and he keeps pushing him to learn. It's done in a very entertaining and enjoyable way, but then again the movie is not even an hour and a half in its runtime. Not much time to show how rote repetition makes for an excellent education.

Rini's favourite part was the Wizard duel. I was quite pleased that she knew the names of most of the animals involved in the Merlin and Madame Mim's manic morphing. Ending the duel with a crazy illness had Rini giggling pretty hard too. Wait. I take that back. Rini's favourite part would have to be the squirrels. Aside from doing our Doug impersonations, she just loved how they played with each other, and you do have to admit they do look rather cute.

The animation style is very similar to other 1960's Disney films, and the you can see where some clips were recycled. Perhaps it was fixed for the remastered version that was released a few years ago in celebration of the 40th Anniversary of the film. The version I have is a part of the Gold Collectio and it has some uneven audio in places, such as when Arthur (the fish) is being chased by the massive pike. But the story still carries just as well as the day it was released into theatres.

The special features bored Rini pretty solid, even though it was about the songs in the movie. But the two shorts included on the disc, A Knight for a Day and The Brave Little Tailor had her attention fixed for the entirety of fifteen minutes. That's the problem with shorts. They're short.

To think that Rini may not remember these movies when she's older has crossed my mind, but then it was just be a new experience for Bronwyn when she's about Rini's age. Then Rini can remember what it was like to watch a movie with her sister for the first time.

Truth be known, Bronwyn did watch the movie with us, and she was awake for the entire time, but if she is ever stretched out on a psychiatrist's couch someday, I doubt she's going to tell about how watching “The Sword in the Stone” ruined her chance for ever achieving happiness in her life. If anything, I would hope that she would have a subconscious adoration for the movie because she was able to watch it with her daddy.

Describe a recent Aha! moment

2011-01-08T23:08:00.003-07:00

Continuing with the post a day challenge, it was pondering for some time just what was meant by an Aha! moment. A few came to mind, some sillier than the rest.

First: Wife's Christmas present.

A week before Dec 25, and like a typical husband, I had not got Caitlin her Christmas gift yet, because I simply didn't know what to get. Then I was watching a trailer for the upcoming Thor movie.

After showing the clip to my wife, she told me that she was very much looking forward to that movie since Thor was her favourite Marvel character. We have been married for seven and a half years, and that was the first time I heard that come out of her mouth.

She then went on to explain that it's part of her heritage, since she is part Swedish. Nothing mentioned about the the physique that would make Isaiah Mustafa look like a ninety pound teenager, but I'm sure she has some kind of reserve for that some where. Or the hair. Or maybe the beard? She has mentioned she likes me with a beard.

Now my mind is reeling. My wife has a favourite comic book hero. I must capitalize on this! I could get a compendium, or individual issues, or some kind of collectible figure or bust. Heroclix? Nothing seemed to work though. The only idea that held any ground was getting gift certificates to see the movie when it comes out later this year.

Then we went to my office Christmas party at Jubilations Dinner Theatre. After seeing what happened with the two people from my office who had birthdays within a week of the party, Caitlin and I had a conversation that was something like this:

Caitlin: "We need to come here for my birthday."
Me: "And my birthday?"
Caitlin: Nodding "And our anniversary."

It didn't come to me immediately, but soon enough, the Aha! moment finally hit me like a ton of bricks. Season Tickets! A little bit of investigation and I found that they indeed did have season tickets available, and they were reasonably priced. The only catch is that the cheaper tickets were only for tickets on Wednesday, Thursday, and Sunday. That worked out well, since in 2011 Caitlin's birthday is a Wednesday, our anniversary is a Tuesday (dark day for Jubilations, so the closest day would be a Wednesday), and my birthday is a Sunday. Though we might go on a Wednesday or Thursday. This was an idea that sounded really, really good, and felt right. The only thing that was holding me back was the price. If we went ahead with this, it would be the third most expensive thing I would have ever purchased for my wife.

What were the other two? Well, not counting the car, as it is something that's used by the whole family, and not counting our daughters, because they're priceless (as in I can't count how much money we've spent on them because that number has not yet been determined. By science.) so that leaves the two most obvious things.

1. Her wedding and engagement rings
2. Her netbook (which I use quite a bit now...)

Hence this was a bit of a big step for me. But when she opened up her gift Christmas morning, and saw those tickets, I knew I had done right.

I don't have many of those moments, but my wife says otherwise.

I still try to make them count.

How I met my wife - Part 3 of 3

2011-01-08T14:00:00.002-07:00

Multiple reasons why I broke this story into three segments: First, I was three posts behind when I started this post a day challenge; Second, each of the events have a sizable amount of time separating them; and Third, I thought it was be fun to write a series.

Here it is, the conclusion of this mini-series.

Part 3 - Our first date(s)

As the seasons pass, so did the time, and both of us thought the other was happy in the relationships that we found ourselves in. What we both went through separate relationships, they both crashed and burned. By Dec 2002, we were both single, and had healed from the broken friendships and engagements. Wait, sorry, only I was engaged. Caitlin talked about marriage with her boyfriend, but those conversations progressed from "When we get married" to "If we get married." I was rather callous when I broke off my engagement, but I'm glad I did. I read that you shouldn't avoid breaking up because you're trying to figure if it's going to hurt or not, because it is going to hurt either a little or a lot. And the longer you hold on, the worse it gets.

Then came the Christmas season of 2002. As mentioned earlier, my sister still kept moderate contact with the Tolleys, even though she had been married for five years at this point, and not to their son. Caitlin's mother was working at the LDS Bookstore in town at the time, and my sister was in doing some Christmas shopping. As women are wont to, they got to talking, and somehow or another, I was brought into the conversation. "How is Steven? Did he get married?" "No, he broke that off." I'm sure the discussion was a bit more involved than that, but when it was indicated that I was again single, a plan was hatched. Okay, phone numbers were exchanged, and my sister 'encouraged' me to call Caitlin and ask her out. She was nineteen now, so I wasn't quite as taken aback as I was approximately two years ago. Still, it took me a good few days before I called up Caitlin and asked her out to the Odyssium on Jan 4, 2003. I figured it would be a good first date where we could get to know each other more than sitting in a movie theatre for a couple of hours. Also, I really wanted to go see the touring exhibit about medical technologies which was going to be finishing up that month.

Immediately after I finished my phone call with Caitlin, I called up my sister. At this point she was down south in Lethbridge for Christmas holidays, so I left a message on her answering machine that was something like this: "Just called to let you know I finally called Caitlin and asked her out. I hope you're happy!"

My sister called me the day she got back into the city, January 6, 2003, and she asked me how the date went. I simply replied, "Which one?"

After I had left my puzzling message on her answering machine, Caitlin called me back, and invited me out to her family's New Year Day Medieval Feast. I said yes, not know what I was getting myself into, but that day I got a ride down to Beaumont courtesy of Dave Pratt (who earned the well deserved Best Man spot at the wedding) and then I was taken to the costume closet where I was given peasant attire. This attire included tights. Wrapped leggings, but they were still a form of tights. Caitlin was impressed that I put up with that, and that I stayed in costume for the entirety of the evening.

We then made plans to get together the next day, a simple dinner party at Dave Pratt's place, where we watched Bandits, and then the day following that, we were chez Tolley again, this time for a dinner party and round of Shanghai.

The Odyssium date went really well, and by the end of these dates, we had exchanged email addresses, as Caitlin was heading back to Red Deer College.

We wrote every day, and the day I proposed...

Is a story for another time.

How I met my wife - Part 2 of 3

2011-01-08T12:00:00.000-07:00

Part 2: When we first met

A lot can happen in a year, and even more happened during the three and a half years between the time when we first saw each other, and the first time we officially met. For instance, I went on a mission, and Caitlin finished high school.

Then came the auditions for 'The Ark' in January 2001. This I remember in a bit more detail since it was the day I consciously remember meeting Caitlin. I took note of her during the dance audition, and noticed that she held herself in fine form. She went off to the south end of the gym at the Institute building, where the audition was being held, and went to study her song for the singing portion.

Gathering up all the courage I had inside me to talk to this pretty girl, I walked up to where she was studying away. I'm not sure how long I stood there before I determined that she wouldn't know I was there unless I said something, but moments like that tend to stretch out even if they are only a few seconds. I didn't realize this at the time, but I surprised her quite a bit when I said, “Hi.” Her head shot up like I shouted her name and it made me do a double take before I asked her what song she was working on. In hindsight, I guess that's not really good practice for auditions as some actors prefer not to be disturbed. At all. Nevertheless, this was my first audition, and I didn't know any better, while she didn't know anyone and didn't expect to talk to anyone at the audition, let alone me.

I wasn't the most attractive guy in the world, but I wasn't that bad either, and that might have added to her surprise that I spoke to her. At least I'd like to think that. Our topic of conversation moved beyond music and we got to taking, about what I don't remember, but at the same time, it doesn't matter. She had to leave midway through the audition as she had a previous engagement.

When her mom came to pick her up, she noticed that I was sitting beside her, and asked who I was. She replied, “He said his name was Steve,” and that set off a little reminder in the back of her mother's head. After some telephone calls and talks with my sister, I found out that the Caitlin I talked to at the audition was Caitlin Tolley, and she was going to be coming to the Singles Ward pretty soon. I was surprised with that, and asked how old she was.

Imagine my shock when I discovered I was flirting with a seventeen year old.

As you might have noted, this is part 2 of 3, and the introduction to the conclusion of this story is summarized with the two words that were used to segue Part 1 and 2: Time passed.

To be concluded at 2:00PM

How I met my wife - Part 1 of 3

2011-01-08T10:00:00.002-07:00

Those of you that follow my other blog have heard the story I told about The Canadian Coffee Secret, which was part and parcel to the post a day topic for Jan 6, 2011. Truth be told there was another story that I wanted to tell, an some people might have heard it before. For those who know this story, you'll probably want to read it anyway just to see which details I embellish more than others.

Part 1: The first time we saw each other

When people talk about their significant others, sometimes you'll hear the phrase, "Love at first sight." Not the case for my wife and I.

Going back to the time before iPods, when people listened to CDs and cassette tapes, my sister met this tall drink of water named Erik Tolley. Their relationship didn't last long, which disappointed my mom, because she thought Erik was great, and his family was fun too. Yes, our families met, however it wasn't a prominent enough even that I remember every detail about the visit. I don't even remember when it was. But if someone had told me that I was going to marry their fourteen year old daughter someday, I would have died of shock. Caitlin doesn't really remember much of that get together either, but the thing that stands out was the player piano. My mom enjoyed it so much, a couple of years later she bought one for the house.

Oh, and the dogs. I remember the three Old English Sheepdogs, or walking balls of hair. They knew they weren't allowed in the front room, but Chief was cheeky to the point that he would sit outside the room with one of his front paws over the threshold. He was out of the room, so he wasn't being yelled at, but he was in the room, so his mischievous nature was sated.

Like I said, I remember the visit, and Caitlin must have been there, but I don't remember her specifically. Besides, there would have been more than a few eyebrows raised if a 19 year old showed interest in a 14 year old.

Now to segue into the next chapter: Time passed.

Part 2 to be posted at noon o'clock.

How do you stay focused?

2011-01-07T21:26:00.002-07:00

Seems ironic that I stalled my car twice driving into work while today's post a day topic questions what you do to stay focused. On a side note, next time I use my FM transmitter, I'm going to have it set up before the car starts moving. Doing anything at a red light except watching for the light to change just doesn't work the way it should.

I like it when my wife rides with me, because she's able to take care of other things like answering the phone, work the radio, run the windshield wipers, basically anything that would distract me from driving. Another side note, my wife really does run the wipers while I'm driving. It's a bit of a carry over habit from our old car in which the wipers would stop wherever they were when you turned them off. If they were in the middle of the windshield, that's where'd they stop. She could gauge when to turn off the wipers much better than me. Mostly because her attention wasn't divided with driving the car.

When I was writing NaNoWriMo, I would have to put in earplugs in order to concentrate, but I would also have to wait until my daughter was asleep. Right now, I'm trying to write this while on my lunch break, and normally I'm the only one in the lunch room. Set apart from everyone else, nice and quiet, it's pretty easy to concentrate. Today, I just have to ignore the conversations that are going on around me, and try to focus more on what my fingers are relaying to the screen.

It's not that I'm being rude, I'm just trying to focus on my goal of getting a post written everyday. True, the coworker that is distracting me the most is talking about TV shows that I'm sort of interested in, and haven't had time to watch. Now that I've heard the summary I probably won't watch it now. Wonder if I was ever going to take time out to watch Supernatural. The series is still going? I thought it was done with Season 5 when they got the rings from the four horsemen. Oh dear, I just asked my Newfie coworker to explain something. This could take awhile. Ah, he's talking with another coworker now, perhaps he won't notice me getting back to my writing.

Crap. Another coworker just walked in. I'm going to have to finish this later.

Today's lunch break just wasn't as quiet and serene as usual.

What's this? The forecast is to be cold, stormy, and miserable? For the next three days? This could work to my advantage! Just need to get some playtime with my daughter to wear her out, and then I'll be able to sit down and write. For select periods of time.

I'll take what I can get.

Movie Project – Day 11: Fantasia (1940)

2011-01-06T12:00:00.000-07:00

Today, we ventured for something more ambitious, Walt Disney's Fantasia. Erini has heard classical music before, but animation matched to the music was a new experience for her. Amazingly enough, she sat still for the most of the picture. I would like to say that there is a certain part that she likes, but her attention has been rapt.

After the show was over, Erini's reaction was curious. She didn't ask to watch it again, but rather wanted to see, “the unicorns.” Her favourite part of Fantasia – by far – was Beethoven's Sixth, 'The Pastoral Symphony.' Caitlin was very pleased, as that's her favourite part too. My only regret is that I didn't watch the entire show with her, as they had started watching it before I got home from work today. Nevertheless, this looks like a winner, especially in regards to rewatchability.

Most of the time I don't really notice the remastering of the image, but the Blu-Ray quality did show through, especially in the final piece, Night on Bald Mountain/Ave Maria. The fact that I had figured out how to get 1080i quality out of the Blu-ray player also helped, but the animation was very sharp and beautiful. I'm sure Walt would approve.

An interesting story that emerged from watching Fantasia with my family was an event from my wife's dating history. For all I know, she told me this before, but she showed Fantasia to one of her previous boyfriends (when they were dating, of course) because he had never seen it before. To his surprise, he actually enjoyed it, especially the music as he was not familiar with classical works.

I'm very glad that we bought Fantasia, although I was a little tenacious when Caitlin added it to our Boxing Day shopping pile. This is a title that I have been looking to get for close to a decade, but money is money, and over Christmas we spent a lot of it. Still, this is more than a movie, it's an investment in the musical and artistic education of my family. I can see us watching this again and again years from now.

Hopefully the disc will last. Hmmm... Might have to invest in some back up space.

Are you Stressed?

2011-01-05T19:30:00.003-07:00

Much like yesterday's post a day question regarding the preference of talk or text, this question has multiple levels to its answer. The shortest answer would be either yes or no, in my case yes, but there is more to it than just being stressed.

The engineer side of me wants to get into the direct physical definition of the question, in which I would be under stress if my body was applying force to a vector of opposite direction, such as holding my daughter up in the superman position. My arm would be under compression, a classification of stress.

Wow, that was a boring explanation.

Mental and emotional stresses are a much more common definition and I am under those as well. Anyone in my position of husband, father, and breadwinner obviously has stressors in their lives, and my life is no different. I don't need to worry about where our next meal is going to come from, or if we'll have money for rent, but I do worry if I'm being responsible enough, and if I'm trying hard enough to provide adequately for my family.

Writing this out makes me realize that my stress is not near what other people feel. One of my coworkers is looking for a home right now, and is currently rooming with a friend of his. He shares a bachelor suite with him, though the way he describes it, he lives in a room with a bed and toilet. They just got a shower curtain the other day, so they have privacy when they shower now.

My family is currently rooming with my in-laws, so we don't technically have a home of our own, we still have our space. Though I wonder about how my daughters' antics are affecting everyone's sleep. Last night my oldest fell asleep in my lap at 8pm. So cute! I put her in her bed, jeans and all, but around midnight she awoke, changed into pajamas, and they remained awake for another hour. I was so tired I didn't hear the alarm this morning. At least not the first one. Or the second. Or the third. Or the fourth. I did hear the fifth time the alarm went off, but if it wasn't for my wife informing me of the hour, I probably would not have gotten out of bed today.

Am I stressed? Yes. Will I buckle under the pressure of mundane life? No. Will my stress get worse? My oldest is only 3 years old. Ask me again in ten years.

Talk or Text?

2011-01-05T00:22:00.000-07:00

Following the suggestion from the Wordpress post of the day suggestion, “Do you prefer to talk or text?” I would have to say that it truly does depend. If it's something critical, like my house is on fire, or my daughter has been injured, I would much prefer to be called. Text messages are something that I check frequently because I get twitter feeds sent to my phone, so I'm usually checking my phone throughout the day for tweets/texts. When Caitlin texts me, half the time I don't notice. If I could figure out a way to get a different notification sound for texts that don't come from twitter, I would probably prefer texting more, since it's cheaper. With talking, during the day, it's quite expensive, but in the evening it's cheap for Caitlin and I. Again, it all depends on the situation.

Pintiquinestra

2010-09-06T21:03:00.002-06:00

A late entry, but critical to every pregnancy, is Grandpa Tolley's baby name submission. Erini was to be named after a Babylonian Emperor (Shalmaneser), while Baby #2 has been suggested with a name a bit more common place, but still odd. If you are familiar with the full work of Don Quixote, the name Pintiquinestra wouldn't sound quite that out of place. I have to admit it did sound a little familiar when I first heard it, but I think Caitlin and I will stick to the original plan.

We have a name picked out for a boy - Lachlin Joseph Ray - but Friday's ultrasound confirmed that Caitlin is carrying another girl. Hence we will be going forward with the name Bronwyn Bell. With Rini, we were going back and forth about the middle name right up to the instant she was born. In the end, our first born went home with the name Erini Tiana. It wasn't until a few months later that I realized our daughter's initials spelled out the abbreviation for the Latin term et cetra. Now, I'm about to have a daughter whose initials are more closely identified with the British Broadcasting Corporation.

Then again, the worst thing would be to name my children after employment positions and office equipment ie. Desk, Financial, Historical, Bank. I'm sure we wouldn't be allowed to leave the hospital unless we came up with a better name. If the Hospital staff didn't put their foot down, I'm sure our families would.

As this is our second baby, I've been asked many times if this is like rolling off a log. For the first 36 weeks, I would have to agree. But the past four weeks have been new territory. Everyday, I was half expecting the call to come that Caitlin was in labour and I would have to meet her at the hospital. That call never came. It started to feel like it would never come, which my wife would heartily disagree. The due date couldn't get here quick enough, and now that it's passed, tomorrow morning she is going to be induced. Should inducement fail, baby will be removed via Caesarian. One way or another, baby WILL be born tomorrow.

And that's the funny thing. I know that tomorrow, I'll have a baby laying in the bassinet we have set up in our room. Sleeping? Depends on the time of day, but I know I'm going to have to get to bed early tonight. It might be the last time for awhile I'll have the chance to sleep through the night.

Details will follow as I get them, but for now, I'm going to help my wife back a hospital bag.

Godspeed.

Movie Project Day 10: Pixar Short Films Collection - Volume 1

2010-06-12T01:01:00.005-06:00

Of all the Pixar DVDs I own, I have not purchased Pixar Short Films Collection - Volume 1, nor implied that I would like to receive it as a gift. This could be partially due to the fact that since we own all the Pixar titles released to date and the short films are included on each of the titles, with the exception of The Adventures of André and Wally B. as it was produced under the Lucasfilm Computer Graphics Project, not Pixar.

However, it is quite interesting to see each of the films together, watching the technology improve with each subsequent film. This volume also contains four quick shorts featuring the lamps from Luxo Jr. which were aired on Sesame Street. I had never seen these segments before since I didn't watch Sesame Street in 1991 when they were produced. In addition to all this, the commentary from John Lasseter and the other directors for each of the short films (excluding Mike's New Car and Jack-Jack Attack) adds a wonderful bit of insight to the creativity, genius, and desperation that was the fuel to create these unique films. While Jack-Jack Attack had no commentary track, Mike's New Car was fresh and young. Moreso young.

For some reason which I have yet to find out, and may never discover, instead of the directors doing commentary for this short film, they had their children talk about it. The short itself is very silly and doesn't add any great character development to Monsters, Inc. stars, Mike and Sulley, and therefore, why should there be any serious talk overshadowing it? Perhaps it was a birthday present to their children, or even more likely, the children asked the directors, who then couldn't find a reason not to let them do it and figured, "Why not?" The result, a commentary track that my daughter absolutely loves.

That not to say Mike's New Car is her favourite of the Volume. Rini has watched the entire disc so many times, I am almost reconsidering purchasing a copy or putting it on a wish list. My wife doubly so. It's still a joy to watch these bits of animation, and since only four of the thirteen shorts contain any type of dialogue, Rini is fine with talking about the films as they are playing. Now, when she watches "Red's Dream", she says "Thank you!" every time he takes a bow. This was brought about by asking what the characters are feeling and how their actions represent that, but after some time it has evolved into making up lines for these silent characters.

While not everyone shares my feelings for Pixar, ie. PIXAR4LIFE, the title alone speaks of what this company has made, and what they have in store. Volume 1 marks the beginning of a collection that both children and adults will enjoy as much, and possibly more than, the movies that coincide with them.

iPressure

2010-06-03T00:38:00.001-06:00

28 May 2010 marked an important day for Macintosh aficionados across
the globe with the release of the much praised, sometimes fabled,
iPad. Edmonton, Alberta also had the opening of a new Apple Store.
Tweets abounded from every sector of Edmonton as people clamoured to
get their hands on the precious commodity that had finally been
officially released outside the United States. Not to say that people
weren't tripping over themselves prior to this date. I know of one
person in my local church congregation that has had an iPad for close
to a month now, and I was able to try it out. From my experience,
would I say the iPad is a wonderful device? Yes. Magical? Not
really. Easy to use? Definitely. Would I take time off work to sit
in line to get one? No. Would I search the city to find one, after
completing my regular work day? No. Would I wait until there was
sufficient funds in my bank account before embarking on a search to
find an iPad? No, no, and again I say no.

I have no strong affinity to the Macintosh name - even in my choice of
fruit I would sooner pick Spartan or Pink Lady - and thus do not see a
need to join the masses who praise the works of the great Steve Jobs.
That is not to say that I dislike Mr. Jobs and everything he is
associated with, for if that were so, I would have to stop utilizing
the moderately coherent phrase 'PIXAR4LIFE' whenever I talk about
animated films.

And that is not to say that I was not ever tempted to purchase an
Apple product. Recall in January 2010, after we had received a $15
iTunes gift card as a Christmas gift, I was near ready to purchase an
iPod Touch. This same temptation surfaced when I broke my iPaq in
October 2009, such to the point that I posted the iTem on my christmas
wish list. Once my brilliant wife repaired iPaq, I amended my wish
list. As for the gift card, we used it to buy an album which iTunes
allowed me to burn to CD, and we also aquired a portable DVD player
for half the cost of a basic iPod Touch. This investment was quite
prudent as now we're able to watch movies after Rini has gone to bed,
and also provide some entertainment on long car trips, such as the one
we recent made to Taber.

But the iPad is still a wonderous little device, and once prices drop,
I could see devices similar to it become more the norm. Tablet
technology is not new, far from it. Ten years ago someone gave a very
similar speech to the one Jobs gave in late January 2010. Tablet
computers were to be the wave of the future, and soon they would
become commonplace. Up until 2009, tablet computers generally carried
a four digit price tag, and were fragile like aluminum foil coated in
glass. They might survive one drop, but unless these devices were
protected like the Panasonic toughbook, they were not generally used
for consumer use. Commercial and industrial applications abound, plus
they make for wonderful product placement props on CSI:NY.

At the end of the day, why would I want to throw my hat into the ring
with this new product? Because it's the new 'it' gadget? I would
have the oppurtunity to be at the forefront of technological history?
It's trendy and fashionable? Everyone else is doing it? These are
the questions I find myself surrounded with. Petty, insipid, and
otherwise pointless questions that do not garner the need to be
addressed at this time. True, iPaq's wifi card will only work on
802.11b, but for what I need right now, that's enough.

I would almost consider getting a chinese knockoff, such as the APAD
which my coworker purchased on eBay for a paltry $150. Running on
Android, it has a similar interface, but has the flexibility to allow
for additional peripherals. USB keyboard, mouse, and external hard
drive just to name a few are some of the differences from the iPad.

If I would be using the device for the same functions that I use iPaq,
it would have to be decent for writing, tweeting, email and internet
browsing primarily. Music and movies would be secondary.

But I will have to wait for the day when that want becomes a need.
There are other things that I can devote my attention to right now.
Like the fact I got to help my little girl ride a bike today!

Cousins, cousins, cousins

2010-05-29T20:39:00.001-06:00

I can't think of another time when Rini has seen quite as many cousins
as she has today! Last night, we travelled down to Calgary and stayed
the night with my sister and her family. It was rather spur of the
moment because I called her right when we were about to head out the
door. We were going to travel straight to Taber, but when I realized
the travel time was 5 or 6 hours, which would put in Taber around
midnight, I figured it would better if we just went to Calgary, then
continued to Taber the next day.

I used up a moment of brilliance with that idea, and I fear I may not
have another bit of inspiration for a year or so.

Still, it worked out remarkably well on a number of accounts. First,
I wasn't as tired driving, and we were able to spend some time with my
sisters as Liz was over for a visit with Isobel.

We spent a couple hours playing Wii, most of the time playing Boom
Blox. We tried Rabbids Go Home, but it seemed banal compared to the
previous versions we'd played. I was initially excited, because
Raving Rabbids and Rabbids TV are a lot of fun. Nevertheless, I had
not played Rabbids Go Home previous to last night, and I wasn't
missing much. Chris had never heard of the Rabbids series, and I was
rather disappointed that his first game was a rather poor experience.
Eh, you can't have sunny days all the time.

But at the end of May, I would expect there to be rain, NOT SNOW.
That was a horrible slap in the face when we went out to leave for
Taber, and there was 10cm of wet snow piled on top of the car! The
weird thing is that this happened last month when we went to the
Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo. It's like we bring bad weather
with us!

Ah, I'm probably blowing that a little out of proportion.

It was great that Rini was able to play with her cousins, second
cousins, and her first cousins once removed. Those were the cousins
that she played with. It was fun figuring out the level of relations
that I had with everyone else, but I confused a few people as well.
Seems a little ironic that I learned how the relation levels work from
my first cousin twice removed.

Time for a change up

2010-05-17T00:57:00.003-06:00

I wouldn't say that I'm dependent on my wife, but I do appreciate her input, otherwise how would I have come up with the following: "I have two minds: one's lost and the other is out looking for my wife to tell me where it went.

Something that Caitlin and I have been working on the past few days is organizing our home a bit better. We keep thinking that the ideal thing to do would be to move to a new place, and I can't say nay to that idea, especially with baby #2 on the way and not a lot of place for new baby to sleep, save maybe the bathroom. We were considering putting baby in with Rini, but then realized that would be quite difficult for Rini to sleep. That and it's not recommended for children under the age of six to be sleeping in bunk beds. I'm thinking that the bed manufactures don't want to be sued if young children fall off the beds, because Rini loves climbing up on the bunk beds at Grandma and Grandpa's, plus her cousin has been sleeping in a top bunk for some time now. That six foot bunk at IKEA was a little freaky though. It would be good, but a little freaky.

Though it would be great to have everything done at once, we're trying to tackle one room at a time and the living room is the first on the list. I tried looking on kijiji for some shelving, but we went to Home Depot and IKEA and got much better ideas. True we spent a lot more, but at least with IKEA you don't need to worry about the store throwing away the shelf before you go to pick it up. Then again, they don't have free shelves at IKEA either. Cheap, but not free. Yet I was a little perplexed by their pricing, specifically with the BILLY shelves. I found some online for $80, but when we got to the store, we found some for $50. Quite the drop in price, and yet when we went to the warehouse, we found the $50 shelves we got were in white, while the $80 shelves were in Black/brown. That was the only difference. Same style, same name, EXACT SAME DIMENSIONS, but different colour. I couldn't figure it out. We just went for the cheaper one, paid, packed up and left.

I know I could say something about racial inequality, but I'll leave that for another day.

As it worked out, the shelving that we currently have in the living room complemented the BILLY units better than we hoped. We had an end board for a water bed(?) beside a birch finish BILLY shelf, and things piled precariously everywhere. Now we have the birch shelf in between the two white shelves with the end board on top of the three. And it fits great! The only hiccup was that in order to get the new shelving setup, I had to pull everything off the previous shelves and place them in various spots in the living room. The couch, the floor, the dining table and even the cube shelves we got from Home Depot, which we setup with the hope of using in the living room, but didn't need once we found the BILLY shelves worked so well.

But those wire shelves will not go to waste, because they will fit very well in our bedroom, which is also in sore need of organization. For the past three years, we've had a small bedside table beside our bed, and a large gap to the wall, that we partially filled a couple years ago with a bookshelf from Office Depot. Then I did some measuring and found that not only will the cubes fit there, but the dresser that's been sitting wasting space for the past three years will fit there too. So we're going to move out the bedside table, put in the dresser, and then put the cubes on top.

We did get some under-the-bed storage bins, but made the error of not measuring the clearance under our bed first. Thus, we have to return the bins that are too tall to fit. There is an adage my wife uses with her sewing: Measure twice, cut once. The same could be applied here, only it would be: Measure twice, buy once.

Better make sure I still have that receipt.

Movie Project: Day 9 - Samurai Jack Ep. 27

2010-03-22T22:38:00.003-06:00

In the spirit of continuing to expose my daughter to new shows, we took a stab in the direction that most would not tread. Genndy Tartakovsky is one of the revolutionary animation directors of the aughts and turned the page for the animation industry. I have have been a fan of his work since Powerpuff Girls, in which he directed a few episodes. He finally went out on his own with Dexter's Laboratory, and then went on to do Samurai Jack. He is most famous for the Clone Wars microseries commissioned by George Lucas which served as a transitory work for Star Wars Episodes II and III. He has not worked with the current Clone Wars Series, nor does he have any plans to work with Lucasarts anytime in the near future. Currently, he is developing a feature length production for Samurai Jack.

Please note this does contain spoilers to the episodes content.

What better way to introduce this brilliant director to my daughter than with one of the more unusual episodes of the series. This is a little bit of an understatement, because all episodes of Samurai Jack stand apart from each other. In this one particularly, it features a character which my wife and I channel when we get frustrated. There is no explanation regarding most characters, and most are only seen for one episode, with a few exceptions such as the Scotsman. In this episode, Jack accidentally bumps a misanthropic wizard with an incredibly short temper. Although Jack apologizes for his error in genuine humility, the wizard flies into a rage and transforms Jack into a rooster, although he is referred to as a chicken, clucks like a chicken, and even the episode is titled "Chicken Jack."

It's hard to say just what the inspiration behind this episode was, but the bulk of the show has Jack competing in robot pit fighting. It could be referred to as cock fighting, but Jack is the only bird we ever see. As the episode progresses, it is hard to know how the continuity of the series is going to carry forward, because it seems that Jack is doomed to a life as a prize fighting bird, imprisoned by an irresponsible master. But just when almost all hope is lost, and Jack starts to accept his lot, the tables turn. The fat, rude, and slovenly man who found Jack is dressed to the nines ready to take Jack to a main event fight, when he bumps into the irascible wizard. POOF! Jack is back and the fight manager is now a chicken. It is one of the biggest WTF (What The Fruitcake) moments in the series.

Although Rini was a little scared by all the fighting that occurs during the pit fighting, she did enjoy the ludicrous plot and over the top characters. She especially thought the fact that Jack was a chicken was particularly funny.

Nonetheless, I'm quite sure that Rini will have to watch the episode a few more times before she fully understands why my wife and I shout, "ALWAYS!" in order to lighten the mood when we're hot under the collar.

Movie Project: Day 8 - Treasure Planet

2010-03-04T22:52:00.006-07:00

Movie Project was on a bit of a hiatus while I was recovering from a back injury. I have since learned that just because water is dripping on concrete steps does not factor out that there could be ice on said steps. On a related note, it is a very terrifying feeling to forget how to breathe.

In the spirit of the Movie Project, I picked a title that I was not sure Rini had seen, or if she had, it had been some time since she had seen it. Truth be known, I had not watched Treasure Planet in years, and it has special significance for me. True, it was a box office bomb met with tepid reviews, but holds a fresh rating at Rotten Tomatoes, and it was also the first movie my wife and I saw in theatres. The first movie we saw together was Bandits, but we're not going to show that movie to Rini until she's in her teens.

Back to Disney's 43rd animated full length feature, and the first to be shown in both regular screens and IMAX at release, I kept watch to see what would be the hook for Rini. Whether it would be the pirate story narrated by ~~MegaByte~~ Tony Jay, the solar surfing, or any one of the zany and odd characters that are featured in the movie. Rini was moderately engaged up to when Morph appears on screen, and that was what hooked it for her. Much like Abu in Aladdin, another one of Rini's favourite characters, Morph adds a very strong comedy relief to this science fiction themed retelling of the Robert Louis Stevenson classic.

The movie itself can be a bit of a struggle to figure out, especially if you take into account the facts about the vacuum of space that would tend to not allow for open vessels. Though I will admit that an anthropomorphic cat voiced by Emma Thompson would not be near as hot if she were wearing a space suit similar to that of Dr. Doppler's instead of the feisty pair of thigh high boots. Sometimes you have to relieve your sense of logic and just go along for the ride and Treasure Planet is definitely one of those movies. If you can get over the fact that in this movie space is NOT a vacuum, then you can also grasp the concept of a planet that is one massive construct with plant life growing on its metal surface.

Another movie that is strewn with scientific inconsistencies is WallE. It's not really fair to put Treasure Planet on the same page as WallE as the story behind the Pixar marvel is very powerful and original, while the other is a fancy dazzle display of 2D animation on top of 3D decorated with a mild, adapted tale.

Did Rini like it? She did ask to watch it again today and she laughed when Morph did his cuckoo crazy impersonation of B.E.N. during today's viewing. She also did her own little, "Cuckoo" to echo Morph's. I'm certain this will not be the last we've seen of this movie.

Sometimes I wonder if we are spoiling our daughter too much with the theatre setup we have at home. While it is nice to watch movies on a big screen, Caitlin almost prefers the surround sound we have, since it allows for the details that occur off screen as does in Treasure Planet. Another movie that has little easter eggs in the rear channels is Cars. When Mia and Tia (they're like, his biggest fans!) are carted away by security, they shout "WE LOVE YOU, LIGHTNING!" you can hear Mia/Tia shout, "No, I love you more!" when the camera goes back to Lightning McQueen.

Eh, time will tell.

Movie Project Day 7: The Wrong Trousers

2010-02-17T23:29:00.002-07:00

Taking things in a new direction, we switched out Disney, and put in a classic Aardman production, The Wrong Trousers. Rini has already taken a shine to some of Aardman's more recent work, and certainly enjoyed this production.

Wallace and Gromit are a very interesting pair: Wallace jabbers on and comes up with zany inventions, while Gromit, his faithful canine companion who never utters one word and whimpers very rarely, is the principle figure in carrying out these wacky plans. In the case of The Wrong Trousers, Wallace and Gromit get tied up in a criminal heist. I would have thought Rini would have more of a reaction to Feathers McGraw since she seems to be enamoured with penguins at the moment.

We were going to watch another Aardman short today, but Rini was insistent on watching Tinkerbell and the Lost Treasure. That being said, we did have time for the short after dinner, but I was in the mood to play Rock Band.

I also discovered something rather disturbing regarding Disney movies. Most people remember the great shock when Bambi's mom died, but has anyone really taken a good look at the body count Disney has racked up as of late?

Up until the 1980s, Disney was keeping a pretty short hit list: Snow White's Stepmother, Bambi's mom, and who could forget Prince Philip's bold battle with Maleficent. Body count: 3. With Disney's 25th picture, The Black Cauldron, the Witch King was pulled into the cauldron after Gorgi sacrificed himself. Body count: 5. Then the witches "make a bargain" and bring Gorgi back. Body count: 4.

Then it goes up steadily.

Great Mouse Detective - Ratigan Body Count: 5

Oliver and Company - Sykes, Desoto, and Rosco Body Count: 8

The Little Mermaid - Ursula, Flotsam, and Jetsam Body Count: 11

Rescuers Down Under - McLeach Body Count: 12

Beauty and the Beast - Gaston Body Count: 13

Return of Jafar - Jafar Body Count: 14

The Lion King - Mufasa and Scar Body Count: 16

The Hunchback of Notre Dame - Judge Frollo Body Count: 17

Hercules - Meg Body Count: 18 (Later resurrected by Hercules - Body Count: 17)

Mulan - Soliders on the Great Wall(?), Scout, Chinese Army, Village, Hun Army, Shan Yu Body Count: Approx. 450

A Bug's Life - Hopper Body Count: Approx. 451

Tarzan - Clayton Body Count: Approx. 452

Dinosaur - Lots of Dinosaurs Body Count: Approx. 1000452

Atlantis:The Lost Empire - Everyone who wasn't under the crystal's shield when the
city sank, 85% of the submarine crew, Rourke, Helga Sinclair Body Count: Approx. 2000454

Treasure Planet - Billy Bones, Mr. Arrow, Mr. Scroop, a lot of crewmembers Body Count: Approx. 2000467

Brother Bear - Sitka and Koda's mom Body Count: Approx. 2000469

Finding Nemo - Coral and over 400 eggs minus Nemo Body Count: Approx. 2000900

The Incredibles - Numerous Supers, Syndrome, military personnel(?) Body Count: Approx. 2000931

WallE - Entire WallE Fleet minus Main Character WallE and Auto Body Count: Approx. 2001932

Up - Ellie and Charles Muntz Body Count: Approx. 2001934

The Princess and the Frog - Ray Body Count: Approx. 2001935

Hmm... Maybe I should get Rini to watch Tora! Tora! Tora! next. I think that has a lower body count than Dinosaur.

Movie Project: Day 6 - Alice in Wonderland

2010-02-15T11:48:00.002-07:00

First, the good news: Rini sat through 95% of this movie. The bad news: Neither one of us really understood what was going on most of the time. Caitlin has a better handle on what Lewis Carroll was trying to get across in the book, and therefore has a bit more insight to the meaning behind the scenes in Disney's 13th full length animated production, Alice in Wonderland.

When the movie was originally released, it was met with scathing reviews, which makes sense. Charles Lutwidge Dodgson wrote Alice's Adventures in Wonderland as a parody on the upper class manners and protocol of British society, the which to be displayed in a cartoon format would send it over the top in terms of whimsy and inanity.

All of a sudden, I'm not surprised Rini was able to stay seated for most of the film.

I thought that she would have been completely attentive every time the White Rabbit was on screen, but that wasn't the case. Of course, this movie has a lot of characters and a lot to take in, and the sequences don't really flow together. Then again, having five directors working on the movie didn't help much either. Nothing is explained, mostly because the explanations would take another three movies, and wouldn't be nearly as entertaining.

That's not to say the movie was a waste of time. The classic animation style was very fluid and conveyed the appropriate sense of chaos which was prevalent throughout all the Wonderland scenes. Nevertheless, knowing the artists studied Nazi films as reference footage for the card scenes was rather creepy.

Rini's biggest reaction was when the Cheshire Cat made the Red Queen pull her dress over her head, thus enraging the Queen. At this point Rini got up and shouted, "I'M MAD!" I replied, "Yes, she is mad!" Rini didn't miss a beat and piped up, "ME TOO!" She calmed down for the last few minutes for her to see that it was all a dream, but I'm thinking that she'll have to watch it again to fully understand what was going on. And next time, I think she'll watch it with mommy, since Caitlin has read the book, and actually understands most, if not all, of the movie.

As for rewatch-ability, I asked Rini what she thought of the movie after the credits rolled, to which she had no response. Scaling it down a bit, I asked if she thought it was fun. A brief "yeah" was enough to placate my insecurity of showing this movie to my three year old daughter though the film has been known to plague children with nightmares for years. At least amoung some of my friends. Nonetheless, I wasn't overly worried because she has seen both Nightmare Before Christmas and Coraline, and has not become overly warped because of it.

She's going to kill me in my sleep now. Isn't she.

Movie Project: Day 5 - Santa's Workshop & Pluto's Christmas Tree

2010-02-14T21:19:00.001-07:00

There were a couple of features that I tried to watch with Rini today: Cinderella and Johnny Lingo (1969). With Cinderella, she watched about 20 minutes before she went to 'go look for mommy' and with Johnny Lingo she was constantly squirming and got up and left not even five minutes in. She came back around the middle for the wedding feast, but I think that was more of an accident.

By the end of the day, we were faced with only a few minutes before bed, and I was thinking that I would have to strike this day. However, I knew that Mickey's Christmas Carol was not that long in run time, and might work as a last minute feature.

I decided to err on the side of brevity though, and instead we watched two of the three other shorts included on the disc. I knew she had seen Small One before, but Caitlin said to try Santa's Workshop first, since she was less familiar with it. It's a cute, whimsical little short typical of the Silly Symphonies, and Rini particularly liked the penguin toys!

After those six minutes of simple, yet charming animation, we watched Pluto's Christmas Tree. This six minute short was cute enough that Rini wanted to watch it again, and being only six minutes, I figured I would indulge her. To say that there is any sort of lesson to be learned in this short would be a bit of a stretch, since the plot revolves around the miscommunication between Pluto and Mickey. Once Mickey snaps out of his indifferent state of mind and starts to strangle Pluto for wrecking the tree, he sees the two chipmunks, Chip and Dale, and he welcomes them into their home for Christmas, instead of chasing the vermin out of the house or encouraging Pluto to eat them. Still, it's cute, the chipmunk voices of Chip and Dale are enough to send you into giggles, and it has enough cartoon violence to tolerate two viewings back to back.

Was it the best thing to show her on Sunday? Probably not, but it was short, and she actually sat still for everything. As an added bonus, she went to sleep with little to no fuss! I'm just hoping that we can build up her attention span so that she'll sit through Toy Story 3.

Movie Project: Day 4 - Dumbo

2010-02-13T14:24:00.002-07:00

Headed over to the in-laws today so my wife could have some room to cut out a pattern. Knowing this would require some concentration on her part, I knew it would be wise to bring along something to entertain and distract Rini from what mommy was doing. In this spirit, I felt that we could bring along Day 4's movie, Dumbo. I didn't know how long it would take to cut out the pattern, but I also knew there was a number of other features on the DVD, and there are a number of toys at Grandma and Grandpa's, so I wasn't worried.

After I set things up on the 50" screen (one of the pluses of watching a movie at the in-laws), we settled in to watch the Disney's fourth animated classic. The beginning credits were a little new for Rini, since she's used to modern films where the credits roll at the end, but the upbeat circus music kept her attention long enough for the movie to start.

I'm not sure what her opinion is on bird, but she does love baby animals, and you have to admit, the baby animals are adorable in this film. Watching this movie again, I found that there isn't a whole lot of dialogue in the first fifteen minutes or so, and Mrs. Jumbo only ever says two words in the entire movie. Dumbo himself has no dialogue at all, and thereby makes it very easy for kids to relate to the character since his only channel of communication is through body language.

Also lending to the lack of dialogue is the fact that the movie has six major musical numbers and one reprise at the end, though the clown's song, "We're going to hit the big boss for a raise," could technically count as another song. Putting that much music into a 64 minute feature does tend to crowd out dialogue.

Nevertheless, the movie still stands tall on the simple premise of Dumbo's plight as an outcast due to his physical anomoly, compounded with the seperation from his mother, who was put in solitary confinement due to her righteous indignation towards some rude teenagers. With the other circus elephants deciding to ostracize him further due to his unusual appearance, Timothy Q. Mouse attempts to correct this injustice and befriends Dumbo. Though it seems to be the perfect model of high school social circles, the only thing that Rini seemed to be attune to was the fact that Dumbo was sad. Then again, she doesn't quite have the communication skills necessary to relay everything that she understands, but this would not be the first time that I don't completely understand my daugther.

Whether Rini was able to fully appreciate the number "Baby Mine" with its wonderful demonstations of relationships between parent and child is beside the point. I'm just glad she agreed to sit with me during that song, because that song always makes me cry. Moreso now that I'm a father.

Immediately following the 'mother & child' moment, the movie leaps into the Pink Elephants. This was the moment that I wasn't sure how she would react, but she was in gigglefits when she saw Dumbo and Timothy drunk off their stumps. Something you don't see in animated productions much anymore, but I'm not about to put the Futurama movies on the list. Once the booze bubbles morphed into the Pink Elephants, she was moderately interested, but then took off and started playing with toys.

My sister-in-law told me earlier that the movie gave her nightmares when she was young, and I think this was the scene that did it. I'm not certain of that, and neither is she, but I'm just glad that she was alright with her sons watching the movie with Rini and myself.

I would have thought Rini would love when Dumbo learns to fly, and especially the crows, but much of the humour in that scene revolves around the dialogue, and especially all the double meanings in the song "When I see an Elephant Fly." It was a little above her head, as it was above my head when I first saw it.

Her interest held for the finale when Dumbo got his comeuppance, and when the sprayed all the other elephants with peanuts.

I've learned a few things from watching movies with my daughter, one of them being, don't watch movies right before bed. Showing this movie in the middle of the day, with her cousins, definitely helped Rini focus on the movie for the first half. A shame every day isn't Saturday.

Before I put this movie in, I knew it had a substantial rewatchability factor, and from my daughter's response, I would say she shares my opinion. I don't think it's in her top 10, but I would think Dumbo is in her top 20 somewhere.

Movie Project: Day 2 & 3 - Tinkerbell 2 & Opening Ceremonies

2010-02-13T00:34:00.003-07:00

I am cheating big time on this one here. I know that I said I would get Rini to watch a new DVD everyday, and then do an entry about it, but tonight was too good an opportunity to pass up. Literal history in the making tonight with the Opening Ceremonies of the XXI Winter Olympiad in Vancouver, BC. Right next door! Heck, if we were living in Vancouver, I would have tried to go there! Barring that, we were able to watch it on TV, and we could watch highlights online if we want to.

At the start of the parade of the athletes, Rini was not very pleased at all with what we wanted to watch, and even shut the TV off at one point! She is a cheeky little girl, but when we told her that we were going to watch the Olympics tonight, she ran off to her room and cried for a little while. Eventually she came out, and started loading DVDs in our laps, but eventually she relented and resigned herself to playing while we watched. The only time that she really paid attention to what was going on was when they had the dancing performances, the moment of silence for Nodar Kumaritashvili, and the lighting of the cauldron which had a bit of a hiccup, but was still cool. By the time Wayne Gretzky was headed towards the outdoor cauldron, Rini was randomly throwing herself onto the couch. Yeah, she was done.

The day previous, I was able to sit down and watch a movie with her though. Mind, I think she was a bit more cooperative since she was the one who picked the movie. Tinkerbell and the Lost Treasure is not by any means a movie that she was watching for the first time with daddy, but it was a movie that she enjoyed, has some good morals, good music, and has cute characters (fae and fireflies). I'm not sure what it is exactly that she likes about Tinkerbell, whether it's the CGI, the good story, or music, but it has an excellent mesh of them, as well as making memorable characters. This might be due to the Midas touch of John Lasseter; Rini takes a shine to most all projects he has been involved with, whether in a producing or directing role.

That being said, I'm not sure how much she likes Mickey's Christmas Carol although Mr. Lasseter was an animator for the film. Perhaps I'll put that on the list, since I was hoping to have Dumbo be the next feature we watch. The last time Rini saw that 60 minute marvel was about a year and a half ago. I would hope that she would be able to sit through that one at least.

Though I'm not sure how she'll react to the pink elephants.

Movie Project: Day 1 - Aladdin

2010-02-10T21:42:00.002-07:00

My wife and I have an extensive DVD collection. Some titles, I am ashamed to admit, we have purchased and not yet watched. Some titles we have not watched together, and some we have not watched since we have bought them, but have watched previously.

In order to get some use out of these many titles we own, I figured it prudent also to educate my daughter about different movies. That, and I'm starting to get tired of watching Ni-Hao, Kai-Lan everyday. Thus today, I endevoured to break her out of the movies that she has cemented into her three year old mind by dusting off Disney's Aladdin.

This was initially met with a barrage of tears and complaining about how she wanted to watch Up instead, and I couldn't really blame her. Though Aladdin won Academy Awards for Best Original Song and Best Original Score, Up has three Oscar nods, one of them being Best Picture.

Nevertheless, Rini had protested a number of movies/shows that she later loved, such as Toy Story, Nightmare Before Christmas, and Fraggle Rock. I figured this would be just like any other. She would protest, and then settle down and watch the whole thing with barely any fuss.

Boy, was I wrong! The only reason that she tolerated the movie was because of Abu, Aladdin's spider monkey companion. She would screech like a monkey whenever he had screen time, especially during the first musical number "One Jump." She was quite enthused up to the point when the Genie appeared. After that, it was a challenge to get her to sit on the couch longer than two minutes. To say she had completely lost interest might be a bit of an overstatement, but she started to insist upon changing the movie out, and watch Up in its place.

Right before the "Prince Ali" number, I stopped the movie in an effort to calm my daughter down. At this point Caitlin was ready to give up on this for the day, and put in another movie to save us all from the incessant whining to change the movie. I was near ready to put in Veggietales to get some kind of peace, but I instead decided to continue with this 1992 Classic, disregarding the plea from my daughter, in the faint hope that her opinion on the movie would turn positive.

With the choice of watching of the movie or going to bed, Rini decided to stick it out. Having something to drink helped as well, and we all watched the rest of the movie with minimal fuss. She didn't seem to have any big reactions, positive or negative, for the remainder of the movie, probably since we were encroaching on her bedtime by the time the credits rolled.

Aladdin is going back on the shelf, and is probably going to stay there for some time. At least until baby #2 arrives.

Overall, I think Rini liked Aladdin, but it's not something I would bring on a road trip. Pixar still holds that crown.

Hope of the season

2009-12-22T23:02:00.003-07:00

With the Christmas season comes the idea of peace on earth and good will towards men. Such is the same thing in our household, expect when we have the dinner table battle to get food in! I suppose I'll never understand my daughter, but it's best to keep trying, that way when she tries to understand me, we might have some regions of understanding overlapping. I'm quite sure we won't understand everything, but if we connect in some way, that would help.

The other night, we also went sledding at the baseball park behind Millbourne Mall. I much prefer the hill at Millwoods Park, west of Millwoods Town Center, since it is much bigger, steeper, and it also much, MUCH more well lit. We were relying on the light from the parking lot to keep ourselves from walking over the crest of the hill. Oddly enough, Rini did that anyway, and seemed to enjoy falling on her butt more than taking her sled down the hill!

Tomorrow night we are going to meet up with the ward at Millwoods Park for a tobogganing party. Should be good! I just hope that Rini will revert back to her sled, rather than opting for sliding down on her snowpants covered behind.

IT'S ALIVE! And dead.

2009-11-15T23:19:00.001-07:00

I'm sure quite a few people have heard about the great tragedy that
beset me recently. I thought it would be a great gag to drop my coat
instead of hanging it up, and it wasn't that big of a joke. To add
insult to injury, there was a pen in the breast pocket, where iPaq
was, and the fall applied just the right amount of pressure to crack
the screen. Needless to say I was not happy to find a white screen
puncuated with black snowflakes along the cracks. It was truly a sad
sight.

Usually when a touch screen cracks, that's the end of it. The cost to
replace the touch screen is on par with replacing the unit itself,
especially since my PDA is an iPaq 3950 running Windows Mobile 2003.
Quaint, I know, but it works, or rather did until I broke the screen.

But my beloved wife put two and two together and fixed it. Yes, SHE
fixed it. About a year and a half ago, I had another iPaq 3950 which
was giving me grief. One day, the touch screen just stopped
responding. I couldn't figure out why, but it did. I purchased a set
of hex screwdrivers, took it apart, and attempted to fix it. My
efforts ended up bricking the unit, and I just gave it to my daughter
to play with. A few weeks later, a replacement arrived, and all was
well, until I cracked the screen a couple of weeks ago. Caitlin had
the notion that if the other unit was the exact same, and the screen
was still intact, there was no reason why she shouldn't be able to
switch out the screens. So, she got the bricked unit, the damaged
unit, and the hex screwdrivers and went to work. Twenty minutes
later, iPaq was up and running again! I did not give her any
direction, nor did I supervise her because we were entertaining guests
at the time. I have to admit, seeing my wife sucessfully repair a PDA
was entertainment enough for me!

The only problem with the restored iPaq, was that all information that
was on the main memory previously was lost. All programs, all files,
aside from basic Windows OS files and programs were gone.

Not really a big deal. I had to do some online research to find the
drivers and programs that I used previously, but they were pretty easy
to find. YanCEyware, TCPMP, and the foldable keyboard driver were the
easiest to find. Another program I tried to find was pPod. That was
a fun emulator that turned iPaq into an iPod. Second Generation UI
but it was really cool. Instead, I found PocketMusic, and that has a
bit of an iTouch feel to it. Quite snazzy!

But the tricky one was for my Wifi card. Turned over some rocks here
and there, and I finally found it, and it's working brilliantly! I am
very impressed with how well the keyboard responds, and I think that
is in large part because of the available memory on the unit now.
It's not bogged down with a bunch on GPS maps that I never use. In
fact I never used the GPS maps since I didn't have a receiver!

Whoo! Ok, that's enough tech talk.

I'm relieved, yet a little broke up that the play is over now. Feels
like we just opened, and then it's done. Well, I'm not that far off,
because we only did two performances, the shortest run in any
performance I've participated in with the Beaumont Drama Society. We
usually do four performances, or three at the very least, but we only
did two this time around, which is a bit of a shame, because that
would be have been great to do again. Though I don't know how many
times I could have tolerated seeing Drew in drag. Twice was two times
too many.

I suppose I'll never know, but the two show we did were absolutely
great! I got a good crowd response for my choice of tunes on the
glockenspiel. I paid respect to the classics with redidtions of Swan
Lake, Beethoven's 5th, the Zelda overland theme, and I even hashed out
Final Fantasy. I could hear some pretty hearty cheering when I played
Zelda. :)

We will be starting up production again with Oscar come January, so
life will continue to be interesting.

Movies: Why Buy More?

2009-07-28T21:11:00.004-06:00

I did a count of the movies we have in our library: 254. Then I counted all the TV series seasons we have: 21. Then the concert DVD we have: 4. To sum up, we own a lot of movies.

I just realized I didn't count the VHS tapes we have.

To add to the previous summary, we own a LOT of movies. But oddly enough, we have been holding back on purchases of late. We recently picked up a couple movies the other day as our early anniversary gifts to each other, and it was the first DVDs we had bought in months. We used to buy DVDs every couple of weeks, but we are getting better at saving money.

The primary reasons why we don't buy movies a lot now?
1) We now have a car. Those things can be quite the money pit.
2) We have a toddler. See reason #1
3) Lack of time. See reasons #1 and #2

You would think that with a car it would make for more time to spend at home, but quite the contrary. Now that we have a reliable source of transportation, we can get around quite well, and quite often, thereby cutting out the amount of time we spend watching movies.

Don't get me wrong, we have still bought movies since our daughter was born, but she's happy with watching about a dozen movies ad nauseum. 101 Dalmations is still one of her favourite movies. She's not much for Sleeping Beauty or any other typical Disney Princess stuff. She loves Pixar movies (that's my girl!) and The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything.

Some movies I like to own, but there are many I would prefer to watch but not pay exorbant amounts to have that priviledge. I have found that Anime titles are particularly bad about this. Oftimes, you can pay $40 for a disk with very poor English dubbing (Ολ'αυτα ειναι κινέζικα για'μενα) and then you have the subtitles. Blargh. If I can, I get anime from the library. Steamboy was a marvelous film, and I would watch it again. Purchase? No. Another Anime I really like is Ghost in the Shell. An amazing cyberpunk tale, but I would have to keep in locked up so my daughter doesn't pull it out instead of Kung Fu Panda. Best to spend money on diapers instead. For now.

And then of course we have the taboo subject of rips and torrents. I rip my own discs so they will play on my PDA. I also have a few torrents of shows that I can't find on DVD such as ReBoot. I have bought as many of the discs that I could find, but I'm a little leary of buying any discs online. Got burned by Future Shop, and I know that's a poor example. I've done some good eBay transactions , but sometimes you never know what might happen.

And we come again to the lack of time. We don't have any movies still sealed in plastic - anymore - but there are some discs that I have not had the time to sit down and watch. Goodness knows there is sufficient laundry folding to keep me going through the entire first season of Get Smart, which I bought sometime in February. And even though my daughter hasn't shown a huge interest in Fraggle Rock, I still think buying the first three seasons was a wise investment. Now I just need to convince myself that I got a good deal for the box set of the Extended Edition Peter Jackson LOTR trilogy, and my consumerism will be sated.

At least until Sep 29.

Quick two years

2009-07-26T22:11:00.003-06:00

It's a little odd going to my Brother-in-law's missionary homecoming today. I know he's been gone for two years, and I've been writing him most every week. But it just seems a little odd that he's home. It's one of those things that you just never thought would come, yet you knew was on the horizon. Can't really compare that to anything else. I was going to compare it to the birth of my daughter, but that doesn't even come close!

The greatest irony, is that it was oddly similar to keeping a blog. Why? Because he only ever wrote back to me once. He did write a note to us embedded in a letter to his parents once, and it was a birthday greeting for my wife. But the last week he was in the mission field, he wrote specifically to me. It was short, but well meaning.

When we met him at the airport, he thanked me for continuing to write to him although he didn't write back much at all. I told him it was much like keeping a blog. I didn't mind.

His talk today was very good. I shouldn't really compare it to other homecoming talks, because I haven't heard that many. The bulk of the talk referred to what he learned on his mission, which boiled down to five things:

!) Be Patient... with the Lord
2)
3) Diligence - go at your own pace
4)
5) Solve your own problems

Ok. My memory is a little shoddy. I would have taken notes if my daughter wasn't crawling all over me during the meeting, and I didn't feel bad taking out my cell phone to take notes with. I suppose I could have asked someone for a pen and paper. Hindsight.

But the strongest bit that I liked from the talk was this: "A lot of returned missionaries say their mission was the best two years of their life. I would like to say my mission was the best two years FOR my life."

Then we had the pie night reception earlier this evening. Great success, but I can't help but think we should have done it on a later day. Why? Because all the pies were cooked yesterday, ON THE HOTTEST DAY OF THE YEAR! The thermometer outside read 38C at the hottest point. Not to shirk in duties, but the saying holds true: "If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen." That I did. I hid in the basement for most of the day, and also entertained my daughter in the cooler areas on the house for as long as her interest could hold.

I jokingly implied we should have another pie night on March 14, and my Mother-in-law seemed to be in full agreement. Hmmm. Maybe we won't have it on the same scale as we did tonight with 50 pies. Then again, it won't be 30C in March. We shall see.

Somethings are just better without kids

2009-05-27T19:54:00.005-06:00

Last night, Caitlin and I went out for a "date," if you classify going to see a movie with seven other people without our daughter. Now that our little girl is over two years old, getting time to ourselves is getting harder and harder. Who knew that all those parenting books actually knew what they were talking about?

Nevertheless, I'll take date time where I can, and in this case we used up a bunch of little discounts we had tucked away for a night out. One of those things was the cereal box coupons we got back in February. We had the hope to use them last month, when they were good for adult admissions, but April turned out to be a super-nuts month. May rolls around, and they are only good for small popcorns. Now, I'm thinking that the value we have from that purchase was the cereal that came in the box, and may some firestarting tinder. Surprise, surprise, the location for the movie was decided to be Galaxy Cinemas, one of the cinemas accepting the coupons! Woot! Going to see a movie with seven other people suddenly seems like a brilliant idea as we administered popcorn for everyone. Well, we got four small bags of popcorn, and it was shared between three and a half couples. Still, popcorn adds to the movie experience, and today's small popcorn is the equivalent of a large popcorn about 10 years ago!

The other little bonus that we had on our side was the admission. Little did I know, Tuesday's at Galaxy Cinemas are $5. I had $5 in my wallet, but Caitlin did not. Rather, she had a $5 gift certificate that covered her admission! Surprise! Hee hee. I'm so glad I opted for $100 in movie gift certificates last year. Some of my co-workers at the time said I should have got Source by Circuit City cards or Canadian Tire, but I had an inkling that it would be best served - and enjoyed - at Cineplex.

Finally, the movie we went to see was STAR TREK! I went alone to see it opening weekend, because I was seriously afraid it was going to be like last year with The Dark Knight and I would have to wait until it came out on DVD to see it. Not so! I went by myself, and then told Caitlin and her mom everything about it, such to the point that they both wanted to see it, and thus this movie night was brought about.

When I saw Star Trek the first time, I didn't get the usual vibe of "This is a great movie, but it's a good thing Caitlin's not here. She would HATE it!" when I watch movies without my wife. She can appreciate a good film, but something ruin it for her. Language for one. I've learned to tune it out, but it annoys her. Idiocy is another, along with sexual themes. Training Day is a good example. I thought it was brilliant, great acting done by Denzel Washington, definitely worth the golden guy he won, and powerful portrayal done by Ethan Hawke. But the fact that it's done on the backdrop of nitty-gritty LA, pass. However, with Star Trek, I kept thinking that she would LOVE it! Such to the point that I wrote a comical abridgement which I posted earlier.

I was completely right, plus I now know what to get her for Christmas. She laughed at all the points I laughed, she cheered when the famous quips came up, and she agreed that Karl Urban did an excellent job as Bones.

It was nice to just sit back, relax, and not have to worry about Rini. Love that little girl, but a break is always welcome, and mommy certainly needed it.

Star Trek: An Abridgment

2009-05-24T00:02:00.009-06:00

Instead of a movie review, I decided to do a full out script done in the spirit of Movies in fifteen minutes. It covers everything in the movie, so there are spoilers galore. I kept it as clean as I could, but I'd give it a PG rating for language and some innuendo.

Please note there are other parodies online, but I wrote this one as an homage to Miss Cleolinda. Please also note the other scripts are much more liberal with their language than I.

For everyone reading this on Facebook, the blog posting has some links that make it easier to understand.

Somewhere in space aboard the USS Kelvin. Yeah, I never heard of it either

[Radio Conversation heard instead of the random screaming of the people running around like doomed passengers.]

Radio person 1: OMG! A lightning storm in space?

Radio person 2: Yah! At first we thought it was just lens flares, but then this huge thing is coming out of it and it's trying to kill us with guns, even though they could just ram us and they wouldn't even notice we're here because it's 100 times bigger than us!

USS Kelvin Bridge

Important looking person: Captain, our shields are down!

Captain Red Shirt: I kind of guessed that from the status update on our much cooler view screen than any of the other previous Star Trek ships, but thanks anyway!

[shots stop]

Big Tumbleweed ship: We request you send over your captain for tea and death, I mean, crumpets.

CRS: K.

[Lens flare]

ILP: Sir, I think it's a trap!

[Lens flare]

CRS: Maybe, but if I don't make it back, evacuate the ship. You're in charge 1st officer Kirk.

[Lens flare]

Trekkies/ers: KIRK?! That's not Chris Pine, maybe this is some kind of parallel dimension, or...

Normal people: Are you going to be like this throughout the whole movie?

Trekkies/ers who have been glued to the internet since there was a hint this movie was going to be made: Relax! He's Kirk's dad. He saves him, and he's only at the post for 12 minutes, because the Captain is going to come back and save the day.

Aboard Big Tumbleweed ship

[Captain Red Shirt is taken to their bridge amid lens flares.]

Kelvin officer monitoring the captain's every bodily function, except for what he's seeing and hearing: His heart rate is elevated. Must be reactions to the lens flares.

Trekkies/ers: VITALS?!? That is so crazy cool!

Normal people: Why didn't they just embed a video camera on him?

Trekkies/ers: BLASPHEMY!

Big Tumbleweed Ship Crewman: Hey, 'sup Captain from another ship? This is my Captain, he goes by Nero. My advice, don't tick him off. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.

CRS: He's calm right now? Oh boy...

Big Tumbleweed Ship Crewman shows CRS a hologram of a crazy ship: You've seen this ship?

CRS: Never seen that before.

Insane fans: Looks like something from Babylon 5. Kind of like how that big tumbleweed ship looks like a Shadow vessel.

Trekkies/ers: HERESY!

BTSC: How about Spock? You know him, right?

CRS: Uh... no?

BTSC: What's the stardate?

CRS: It's... today?

Nero sees this is getting nowhere and gives the captain the Red Shirt treatment.

Nero: STAB AT THEE!

Back aboard USS Kelvin

Med monitor: Captain is dead! New Captain Kirk, what do we do?

[Lens flare]

Captain Kirk: FIRE! Oh, and Everyone evacuate the ship!

[Lens flare]

Crewman: Don't you mean, “Abandon ship?”

Captain Kirk: HE SAID TO EVACUATE! SO EVACUATE! Especially my wife who is about to give birth to the main character.

Trekkies/ers: Wha? He's not...

Captain Kirk: No, I'm George.

Normal people: Just watch the movie please...

J.J. Abrams: Yes, I made it so that everyone would enjoy AND UNDERSTAND IT.

Shuttle pilot: Sir, we're waiting for you here with your wife.

George Kirk: No, I have to stay behind because these automatic computer functions don't work when the computer has been shot to pieces!

(Please note: I make light of this next bit, but I was bawling my eyes out)

George Kirk: Guns are down, shields are down, but everyone is away! Time for RAMMING SPEED!

[Baby cry over speakers]

Mrs. Kirk: It's a boy! We never thought of a name for the baby up until this point, so what should we name him? I know, we'll name him after your father!

George Kirk: Tiberius?!? Uh... no. Your dad's name is good.

Mrs. Kirk: Jim? Jim Kirk... K.

George Kirk: Love you-

BOOM! Ship explodes like a zit on a skinny teenager as the shuttle crafts zoom away, and the big scary ship does not bother giving chase.

CRAZY LENS FLARE OPENING SEQUENCE

IOWA – nowhere specifically, just IOWA

[Little bratty pre-teen zooms down some dust covered road in an impressive hard top convertible.]

Voice on 23rd Century Product Placement: Don't scratch my car, you little-

Brat: Whatever. [hangs up]

[Not only is there Product Placement in the 23rd Century, there is also still Beastie Boys, as demonstrated by Brat who cranks Sabotage as he careens down the road.]

Normal people: This is so much more awesome than the trailer!

[Lens flare filled car chase. Brat narrowly escapes death via dramatic cliffhanging scene #1.]

Robocop: What is your name?

Lens flare

Brat: James Tiberius Kirk!

Lens flare

Normal people: Weird. That was almost exactly like the trailer...

VULCAN – again, nowhere specifically, just VULCAN

[Vulcan kids brain up in computerized knowledge craters and spit out lots of math equations. Lessons end and bullying ensues.]

Vulcan bullies [deadpan]: Spock. We are going to get an emotional response from you, even though we have failed 34 times previously, because our logical minds are purer than your ~~mudblood~~ half human mind.

Little Spock: ...

Vulcan Bullies: Maybe you just need a push in the right direction. [shoves Little Spock]

Little Spock: ...

Vulcan Bullies: Your mother's a whore.

Little Spock: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

[Lens flare]

Sarek: You need to control yourself more.

[Lens flare]

Little Spock: Why did you marry ~~Winona Ryder~~ mother?

Sarek: ~~She's hot~~ It was logical.

The Lens Flare – Hick Bar, Iowa

Kirk has grown into an arrogant jerk played for the rest of the movie by Chris Pine.

Hot Girl: Booze me.

Kirk: Booze me and have her pay for it.

Hot Girl: Jerk.

Kirk: My name's actually pronounced Kirk. Jim Kirk. What's your name?

[Lens flare]

Normal Person 1: Hey, this gives me an idea. Lens flare shots!

Normal Person 2: DUDE!

Hot girl: Ohura.

Kirk: That's it?

Hot Girl: Doesn't really matter, because I'm too smart for you, since I'm a xenolinguist, and you have no idea what that means.

[Lens flare]
NPs: SHOT!

Kirk: I know that means you're good with your tongue. [Wink]

Big Cadet: I'm gonna beat you down for getting overly friendly with that hot cadet!

Kirk: You and what army, cupcake?

Cupcake: Me and the three guys behind me!

Kirk: Only four? Not fair to you.

Lens flares for each punch landed NPs: SHOT!

[Officer whistles and gets everyone out so he and bloodied Kirk can have a sit down and drink the bar dry.]

Kirk: Who are you?

Pike: I'm Christopher Pike.

Kirk: I thought that was me.

Pike: PIKE! P. I. K. E.

Kirk: Oh, right. Refill please! My eyes still hurt from all those lens flares!

Pike: Anyway kid, you should really join Starfleet because we need more reckless jerks who like to get their butts handed to them and drink like fish, who at the same time have a genius mind. Kind of like your dad.

Kirk: Whatever.

Back on Vulcan

Little Spock has grown up to be Sylar and is standing before a council to see if he got into the Vulcan equivalent of MIT.

[Lens Flare] SHOT!

Council: You're super smart despite your disadvantage. We want you in our club.

[Lens Flare] SHOT!

Sylar Spock: Nice! Wait. What disadvantage?

Council: Your mom.

Sylar Spock: Live long and suck it! I'm going to Starfleet.

Shuttlecraft going to Starfleet Academy

Pike: So you decided to walk the four year walk?

Kirk: Three years.

[One smashed head later, to help the hangover, Kirk finds a seat with a logic puzzle seatbelt]

Kirk: Hey Cupcake!

Cupcake: [Grunt]

Crazy guy who kind of sounds like Deforrest Kelly, but is not: Don't touch me! I'm a doctor, not a piece of baggage! [Sits down beside Kirk]

Kirk: Hey.

[Lens Flare] SHOT!

Crazy: 'Hey,' yourself! We're going to die because we're going into space! I hate space! I hate flying! I'm going to puke on you!

Kirk: Umm... We're going to be working in space...

Crazy: I know. This is all I got though, because my ex-wife took everything but my bones. And booze. Drink?

Kirk: I like you, 'Bones.'

[Lens Flare] SHOT!

Three years later – IN SPACE

Tumbleweed ship crewman: Cap'n, it's been 25 years that we've been aimlessly plotting revenge. You sure this is the right place?

[Lens Flare] SHOT!

Nero: Remember that stabbity death 25 years ago?

[Lens Flare] SHOT!

Tumbleweed ship crewman: Shutting up.

[Babylon 5 inspired ship comes out of weird lightning storm. Lens Flare] SHOT!

Nero: There it is. Get it!

Trekkies/ers: WTF?

[Lens Flare] SHOT!

[Note: From this point forward, I will try not to mention lens flares as much. Just take a shot every other line. Very seriously, there are a LOT of lens flares in the movie.]

Starfleet Academy

Kirk: I'm taking the test again!

McCoy: What? Why?

Kirk: And you're going to be there with me!

McCoy: To watch you fail for the third time? This is screwy. Even for you!

Kirk: Well, off to study. [leaves]

McCoy: I wonder how many STDs he has at this point?

Seduction 369

Green skinned humanoid hottie: I think I love you.

Kirk: Cool!

GSHH: Jerk!

Kirk: No, it's Kirk.

[Footsteps]

GSHH: My roommate! I promised her no more guys. You gotta hide!

Kirk: WHAT?!? [Thump to the floor]

Ohura, GSHH's roomie: Found and translated a Klingon Transmission, because I'm super smart.

Trekkies/ers: Then how come she's so confused in Star Trek VI when they are trying to pose as a Klingon supply ship?

[Ohura strips down to skivvies for no apparent reason other than to get the nerds to shut up.]

Ohura: I hear heavy breathing.

GSHH: I think that's the fan boys watching the movie.

Ohura: No, it's coming from the floor behind your bed.

Kirk: HEY!

Ohura: GET OUT!

Kirk: I'll see you at the test!

Ohura: You're doing that again?

Kirk: You still haven't told me your name.

Ohura: You just don't give up, do you?

Kobe-ashi Maru test (aka the “j0 d34d f00” test)

Ohura: 'Captain,' we're going to frakking die.

McCoy: 'Captain,' this is stupid.

Kirk: Whatever. [pulls out apple, starts eating]

Helm: 'Captain,' Klingons are about to hand our collective butts to us.

Kirk: Cool. [munch munch]

Crewman: Aren't we going to do anything?

Kirk: Sorry, what?

[Simulation crashes as it tried to switch to the screen saver due to lack of input. Might have been running on Windows.]

[System restarts.]

Kirk: Kill 'em all! Rescue the ship! Booyeah!

Sylar Spock: WTF?!? I want his brain!

Starfleet disciplinary council held on account that Spock doesn't like to lose

Kirk: What did I do wrong?

Sylar Spock: You haxx0red my l33t code!

Kirk: Whatever.

Sylar Spock: You must face fear!

Kirk: Nuh-uh!

Sylar Spock: Yah-huh!

Kirk: Nuh-uh!

Sylar Spock: Yah-huh!

Kirk: Nuh-uh!

Sylar Spock: Yah-huh!

Council: OH CWAP! VUWCAN IS IN TWUBBLE! We are going to deploy all cadets to the field in the vain hope that we will be able to help them!

Sylar Spock: ... (inside: meep...)

[Sylar Spock and McCoy are assigned to the Enterprise, while Ohura is assigned on the USS Not-the-Enterprise, and Kirk is told to screw off because he is haxx0r.]

[Ohura corners Sylar Spock.]

Ohura: Put me on the Enterprise!

Sylar Spock: K.

[McCoy is about to ditch the main character and forever change the course of the movie and the franchise when he gets a change of heart and decides to help his buddy.]

McCoy: I'll help you out by giving an alien virus.

Kirk: I'm gonna die!

McCoy: You can thank me later.

[McCoy hauls the disoriented Kirk over to the Shuttle craft leaving for the Enterprise]

Shuttlecraft techie: It's haxx0r Kirk! He can't go.

McCoy: He's with me.

Shuttlecraft techie: Oh, okay.

Bridge of shiny new Enterprise

Pike: Course for Vulcan. Punch it!

Sulu: Aye. ... We're not moving...

Pike: Did you leave the parking brake on?

Sulu: Heh heh. No...

Sylar Spock: [asks the same question in techno jargon]

Sulu: Oh yeah. [Releases 'parking brake,' then goes to warp]

Pike: Comm?

Chekov: E-ess?

Pike: Tell the ship what's going on.

Chekov: U shoore eh-bout that, Cepten? U heve nicer woahce.

Pike: No, I like your funny accent.

[Chekov mangles the English, but manages to inform the crew that they are heading for a space lightning storm.]

Sick Bay

[Kirk hears mention of a Space Lightning storm.]

Kirk: SPACE LIGHTNING! DADDY!

McCoy: Oh, good. You're alive. Let me try to ~~kill~~ cure you.

Kirk: MY HANDS!

McCoy: I can fix that.

Kirk: MAH TONG!

McCoy: Dammit Jim, hold still! I'm just trying to ~~kill~~ help you!

[First of many Benny Hill-esque chases, as Kirk runs to find Ohura with McCoy following]

Kirk: Wemembew dat twansmissun u wuw tawking to ur woomate about when u wuw both in u undewaiw?

Ohura: Jerk!

Kirk: Ith Kuwk. Wath it Womuluns?

Ohura: Womu...

Kirk: Womuluns!

Ohura: Yes!

Kirk: CWAP!

[Kirk, McCoy, and Ohura all rush to the bridge in the spirit of Benny Hill]

Kirk: Captain Pike! We're going to die! Ohura, back me up!

Ohura: Um... Yeah, he's right.

Pike: Shields up! Red Alert! Cue the lens flares!

Orbit around Vulcan

[Looks like Sulu's whoops moment paid off, because every single ship that came before them has been blown to bits. Some chunkier than others.]

Kirk: That green girl I almost got with was on any one of these ships! Eh, whatever.

Space Tumbleweed ship

Crewman: Hey, look! How'd we miss that one?

Nero: I dunno. Blow it up. [Sees it's the Enterprise] WAIT! Hail them.

Crewman: Huh?

Nero: [Makes his stabbing staff give off a lens flare]

Crewman: YessirrightawaysirsorryIdoubtedyousirpleasedon'tkillmesir.

Pike: I'm Captain Christopher Pike of the...

Nero: 'Sup Chris? I'm Nero. Hey, could I talk with Spock?

Sylar Spock: Who are you?

Nero: I HATE YOU! Send your Captain over so I can keel him! I mean... negotiate. Civilly.

Pike: K.

Sylar Spock: Sir, I think this could be a trap.

Pike: Oh, ya think? I was going to bring chips and dip! Wait, no I wasn't. I need some fightin' folk. [Private Red shirt and Sulu volunteer] Good. Kirk, you're coming too.

Kirk: Whatever.

Pike: Spock, let's take a walk.

[Very un-Benny Hill-esque walk to the shuttle craft. This ship is really frakking big!]

Pike: Here's how we're going to do this. Sulu, Kirk, and Red Shirt are going to dive down to the drill that is making a huge hole in Vulcan, take it out of commission and then beam back to the ship. Please note that we won't have any contact because of the bad karma coming from the drill. And Spock, you're Captain.

Kirk: This sucks.

Sylar Spock: This is awesome!

Pike: And I'm promoting Kirk to 1st officer.

Kirk: Woot!

Sylar Spock: Say what?

Pike: I'm probably going to die, but try to rescue me so I don't.

[Sulu, Kirk, and Red Shirt do a crazy sky dive down to a WCB nightmare where Red Shirt offs himself, Sulu whips out a collapsible phallic symbol, and Kirk finds himself in cliffhanger scene #2, all done amoung enough lens flares to empty a gallon of schnapps playing 'Lens flare shots.']

[One attacker gets killed in a workplace accident by stepping over a 10 foot high flame, while the second attacker meets his death somewhere on the surface of Vulcan after Sulu stabs him. At this point, Kirk and Sulu realize Red Shirt had the blast charges they were going to use to neutralize the drill.]

Kirk: Let's use the guns our attackers left behind!

Sulu: Lock and load!

[After the transporter is brought online, the tech operating the transporter tells them to stand still, because in her training for operating the unit, they forgot to teach her basic physics.]

Sulu: Man, I could go for some White Castle right now.

Kirk: Just wait until we get back to the ship!

Sulu: I'll just be a minute!

Kirk: We are on the wrong planet, 10,000 feet above the surface of said wrong planet, and there is no fence to prevent you from falling to your death!

Sulu: [falls over edge of platform] WHITE CASTLE!

Kirk: I was afraid of that.

[Kirk jumps after Sulu and catches him mid-fall.]

Kirk: Pull my chute!

Sulu: You're not my type!

[Chute deploys, then rips out of the backpack.]

Kirk: We're all equipped with one-man chutes, aren't we.

Transporter tech: I can't lock on! Why won't they stay still? Can't they just stop falling at a constant rate of 9.81 m/s2?

Chekov: I kin du eet! Kompensete foor grevity oond thee eh-mount off tyme hi need tu run tu transportear room ehnd BEHM! They beck!

Sylar Spock: Beam me down to the surface so I can save the History of my people, and ~~Winona Ryder~~ my parents who are there as well, but that is mere coincidence. I am placing my life in danger because it is the logical thing to do in this situation.

Kirk: You have issues.

Sylar Spock: You would too if your homeworld was about to collapse in on itself.

Kirk: Touché.

Vulcan, or rather what's left of it

[Sylar finds the Elders in a prayer circle attempting to hold the planet together with the power of faith and lens flares.]

Sylar Spock: We need to get out of here because it's logical!

Elders: Can't argue with logic.

[A number of Vulcan Elders get crushed like ants underneath the stone statues that would dwarf anything found in the mines of Moria, including the Balrog.]

Sylar Spock: Ok, we should be safe on this collapsing precipice. Everyone stay absolutely still, and the Enterprise will beam us aboard.

Trekkies/ers: Oh, this is going to be cool. They're going to be transported right as the platform collapses, and you'll see their outlines hanging in midair.

Sylar Spock: [looks worried]

Trekkies/ers: Typical.

[Transporter fields start forming]

Trekkies/ers: Ha! See! They're going to be fine.

[Precipice collapses underneath Winona Ryder...]

Trekkies/ers: Here comes the outline-nick-of-time moment...

[and she drops to her death, since transporter beams cannot take surprises very well.]

Trekkies/ers: ...

Normal people: Finally, they shut up!

Trekkies/ers: meep...

Normal people: Spoke too soon.

Shiny bridge of the Enterprise

[Sylar Spock gets back to the bridge just in time to see his homeworld collapse in on itself and disappear.]

Trekkies/ers: But they're going to fix that, right?

[The planet disappears from EXISTENCE.]

Trekkies/ers: meep...

Sylar Spock: Looks like Nero and his Tumbleweed craft are heading to Earth. They'll do the same thing there. We need to regroup with the Fleet and prevent this calamity from happening.

Kirk: No. We need to chase down the Tumbleweed, save the captain, and blow up the Tumbleweed before it reaches Earth!

Sylar Spock: Nuh-uh.

Kirk: Yah-huh!

Sylar Spock: Nuh-uh.

Kirk: Yah-huh!

Sylar Spock: Nuh-uh.

Kirk: Yah-huh!

Sylar Spock: [Gives Kirk Vulcan neck pinch] Get him off the ship!

Trekkies/ers: Wha?

Tumbleweed Ship

Nero: Planet, wife, GONE! Give me codes so I can destroy your planet and you can feel my pain!

Pike: Um... no.

Nero: [gets out freaky black scorpion-looking thing] You're going to help us ~~Mr. Anderson~~ Captain.

Ice crater, ~~Hoth~~ Delta Vega

Kirk: Where am I?

Ditch-annoying-people Pod computer: You are 14km from the middle of nowhere. Please wait here and freeze to death.

Kirk: Whatever.

[Kirk bundles up and heads off towards the middle of nowhere.]

Kirk, speaking into recorder: Kirk's log – Spock's a douche. Just makes me want to...

Noise off in distance: ROOOOAAARRR!

Kirk: That was a little too coincidental to be good.

[Huge creature heads at Kirk]

Kirk: ZOMGWTFBBQ!

[Huge creature almost catches Kirk, but is snatched up and eaten by a BIGGER monster]

Kirk: I think I'll keep with my brilliant strategy of running away really fast. Oh, hey! A cave!

[Creature chases Kirk into cave]

Kirk: No fair!

[Deus Ex Machina enters]

Deus Ex Machina person: FLAMING STICK!

Creature: Whatever. I know where you live now.

Deus Ex Machina person reveals himself to be Nimoy Spock.

Nimoy Spock: Hey buddy!

Kirk: Huh?

Nimoy Spock: It's me! Spock!

Kirk: But ... you hate me.

Nimoy Spock: Yeah, but I'm from the future.

Kirk: ... I don't get it.

Nimoy Spock: Screw it, I'll just do a mind meld.

Mind Meld Land

Nimoy Spock: I'm from the future where there's a star that's going to blow up and destroy Romulus, and I was going to use this really fast ship with Red Matter, and we were going to make the star collapse on itself and everything was going to be fine, but it wasn't, and Romulus got destroyed, and Nero is now an angsty SOB who blames me for failing in saving his world and his pregnant wife, and he plans to destroy all the planets in the Federation using the same stuff that I was going to save his planet with.

Back at the Ice Ranch

Kirk: WAAAAHHH! My planet just died, and I killed Nero's planet, and now he wants to kill my planet! Uh... Who am I?

Nimoy Spock: Just walk it off, you'll be fine.

Starpost - Middle of Nowhere

Scotty of the dead: You got pizza?

Nimoy Spock: Hey Scotty!

Scotty: Who the hell are you?

Nimoy: You got your crazy theories working?

Scotty: Just about, until I tried beaming Scott Bakula's dog to Mars. No one knows where, or if, that pup rematerialized actually.

Nimoy: Sucky. Anyway, this is the right way to do it.

Scotty: Are you sure this is the right thing to do?

Nimoy: Sure! You wrote it after all.

Scotty: I did? Hey, I guess I did! Now we can beam ourselves outta here!

Kirk: You coming Spock?

Nimoy Spock: I'm already there.

Kirk: Yes, and maybe you can talk some sense into yourself.

Nimoy Spock: No, besides, you are the one who controls what happens in this alternate universe. Have fun! Just remember that in order to become Captain, you need to prove to everyone that I'm unfit for command by making me fly into a rage.

Kirk: How?

Nimoy Spock: Prey upon the weak things in my psyche (like the fact that my home planet just got decimated) and shatter my logic filled state.

Kirk: I don't know if I can remember all that.

Nimoy Spock: Just be yourself, you'll do fine.

Enterprise Pipeworks

Kirk: Wow. We made it Scotty! Scotty...

[Scotty materialized in water pipe, and Kirk runs after him Benny Hill style]

Kirk: Uh oh, looks like Scotty is heading for the Kill-o-Matic water mixer! Good thing there's that 6ft safety hatch right in front of it.

Scotty: [SPLAT] Hoo! That was fun!

Kirk: You are so on this crew!

Shiny Enterprise Bridge

Crewman: Captain Sylar Spock! Looks like there has been an unauthorized life-saving event!

Sylar Spock: Let me see the video feed. [Sees Kirk] THAT HAXX0R!

Pipeworks

Kirk: It's the cops! Cheese it!

[Benny Hill chase through ~~the Budweiser factory~~ engineering, until 'Cupcake' and some red shirts corner Kirk and Scotty]

Shiny Enterprise Bridge

Kirk (aside): Now remember Scotty, when we get to the bridge...

Scotty: I don't say a thing.

Kirk: Because...

Scotty: I'll steal the scene.

Kirk: That's right. The movie features me and Spock. Please don't forget that.

Sylar Spock: How did you get aboard this ship?

Kirk: Can't say.

Sylar Spock: I so want your brain.

Kirk: Well... You can't!

Sylar Spock: Eh. I'll get by.

Kirk: You do know your planet is dead. [LENS FLARE]

Sylar Spock: But I managed to save the council, and they have everything backed up in their brains.

Kirk: But thousands of people are dead now! [LENS FLARE]

Sylar Spock: We'll rebuild.

Kirk: Your MOTHER is dead. [LENS FLARE]

Sylar Spock: ...

Kirk: YOU NEVER LOVED HER! [LENS FLARE]

Sylar Spock: I KEEL YOU!

[Smack down ensues with plenty of lens flares. Sylar Spock has Kirk in choke hold and is ready to raise his finger and remove Kirk's brain.]

Sarek: SPOCK! Don't kill the plot! This is the best movie the series has had in fifteen years! WE NEED HIM!

[Kirk proceeds to cough up a lung as Spock comes to his senses]

Sylar Spock: Ok, I'll step down. [Spock leaves]

Crewman: Great, we're boned. No Captain, no 1st officer...

Sulu: Actually, Pike made Kirk the 1st officer right before we left for the drill platform.

Crewman: WTF? Why didn't former-Captain Spock say anything?

Kirk: Whatever. I'm in the chair now. Set course for the Tumbleweed vessel!

Chekov: Ceptan! Hi no hew ve kin mek teh sheep inwizible to deetekscion!

Kirk: How does that help?

Chekov: Ayside from eh weely kool ehffect? Nwot a hole lot, seens Skottee ees going too beem hue deerectlee too teh men breej end blo ul tak-ti-cal edventedge.

Kirk: Scotty, is this true?

Scotty: Sorry sir, I barely understood what he said. But if he implied that you are going to be sent to the bridge, he couldn't be more wrong, because you're going to the cargo bay. The only thing that you should find when you beam aboard are lens flares.

Kirk: K. Let's go, Spock!

[Spock and Ohura lip-lock]

[Uncomfortable Silence]

Spock: Love you, babe.

Kirk: OK, WTF?!?

Scotty: Energizing!

[Kirk & Sylar Spock land in the middle of the most populated place of the Tumbleweed Ship.]

Kirk & Sylar Spock: Oh. Snap.

[Gunfire & lens flares ensue as Kirk and Spock try to find cover.]

Sylar Spock: Imma gonna eat his brain Vulcan-style!

Kirk: [Shudder]

Sylar Spock: What? It's not like I ever gave you a mind meld.

Kirk: [Whistles innocently]

Red Matter/ Black Hole creating ship

Computer: Wazzup Nimoy Spock?

Sylar Spock: Huh?

Kirk: [continues whistling innocently]

Sylar Spock: Kirk?

Kirk: Oh, the plan? Yes, the plan. Well, I figured you could fly this crazy ship that thinks it's from the future, was built on a planet that you saw destroyed right in front of your own eyes, and for some odd reason can recognize your face and voice, while I go off and rescue Captain Pike! Sound good?

Sylar Spock: Jerk!

Kirk: Kirk. We're gonna be great friends!

[Spock flies off in the ship that fits like a glove, blows the drill in half, and accidentally destroys the Golden Gate bridge in the process]

Nero: KIRK!

Kirk: No, it's... Hey! You got it right! Usually I have to correct people. How'd you know?

Nero: History books.

Kirk: Wha?

Nero: I KEEL YOU!

[Nero knocks the wind out of Kirk]

Kirk: Uh. Nero? Could use a ~~gun~~ hand here?

Nero: Lackey, you take care of this? Gotta take care of that ship buzzing around like a mosquito.

Lackey: Oh sure. I'll just strangle you to death, Kirk, before I drop you into your grave! MUH AH HA HA!

Kirk: Not if I kill you first! With your own gun!

[Lackey falls to his grave and drops Kirk in the process. Kirk saves himself by getting into Cliffhanging scene #3]

Kirk: Gotta quit hanging around and go find the Captain!

USS Spock's Ship

Computer: Spock, you are going to crash!

Sylar Spock: I know.

Computer: You're going to die!

Sylar Spock: The possibility exists.

Computer: You know something I don't?

Tumbleweed Ship

Nero: Shoot that ship that's going to crash into us!

Crewperson: But that will kill us.

Nero: Oh yeah. Don't shoot him!

Crewperson: But then he'll crash into us and that will kill us.

Nero: Oh yeah. But we'll take Spock down with us! FIRE!

Crewperson: Can anyone else hear fiddle music playing?

Tumbleweed Ship, place where Pike is being held

Kirk: Found you!

Pike: Why are you here?

Kirk:[Aghast] Why, Following orders Captain. Like a good officer.

Pike: You are such a bad liar.

Kirk [into comm]: Get us out of here Scotty!

Enterprise transporter room

Scotty: Three people, two spots, one pad! I rock!

Kirk: Wonderful. You can blog about it after we get out of here.

Scotty: Hey!

Shiny Enterprise Bridge

[Kirk and Spock get there just in time to see a huge black hole open up right in the middle of the Tumbleweed Ship]

Kirk: Hey Tumbleweed ship! You need help?

Sylar Spock: What are you doing?

Kirk: Figured we could be nice.

Sylar Spock: Why?

Kirk: Point. So, Tumbleweed ship? Need help?

Nero: I'd rather die.

Kirk: Can do! FIRE!

[BOOM! BOOM! LENS FLARE! KABOOM!]

Kirk: w00t! Let's go home!

[Ship turns around, but does not move due to massive black hole behind them.]

Kirk: Sulu, did you leave the parking brake on?

Sulu: [Glare of death]

Kirk: Scotty, more power!

Scotty: I'm givin' her all she's got!

Audience: ... (NO CROWD REACTION AT ALL AT THE VIEWING I WENT TO. I felt so nerdy, and alone in said nerdiness.)

Kirk: ANYTHING!

Scotty: Maybe we can throw out the engine!

[Walls start to crack}

Me: ZOMG! Whatever happened to the camera shake boogie?

[Viewscreen cracks]

Kirk: SOUNDS GOOD! DO IT!

[Plan works because Scotty is awesome]

Starfleet Academy

Principal of Starfleet: James Tiberius Kirk, because you acted like a total jerk, cheated on a no-win test, and nearly destroyed a brand new starship, thus saving everyone on earth and resurrected a dead franchise, we give you this medal and command of the Enterprise, even though you've only completed three years of the officer training.

Kirk: Told ya!

Pike: Wonderful, get out of here already.

Random Shuttlebay, Starfleet Headquarters

Sylar Spock: Do I know you?

Nimoy Spock: Sort of.

Sylar Spock: I should go home.

Nimoy Spock: Define home.

Sylar Spock: Touché.

Nimoy Spock: Don't worry about it. Besides, I found a nice place in Southern Alberta where we can set up shop.

Sylar Spock: No kidding!

Nimoy Spock: Good luck with the new universe, and don't worry about the continuity thing. On that note, kudos for getting to first base with Ohura before Kirk!

Sylar Spock: So, we can do whatever we want now?

Nimoy Spock: Yup.

Sylar Spock: Cool! Got a ship to catch!

THE END

Don't take things for 'Granite'

2009-04-04T21:34:00.002-06:00

I would like to say that Rini was very peaceful during both sessions of conference today, but I don't like lying. Though she is getting into the jive of what most people do at Conference. Sleep! She woke up 11:15am, because she didn't go to sleep until well after 10pm last night, and then she went down for a nap around 3pm. That's the beauty of watching conference at home! That would be nigh on impossible to do something like that at the chapel!

Back in the day, that was the only way to do it. Though I do remember when I was in singles ward, we would congregate at the Bishop's house for lunch in between sessions. Worked well because his home wasn't that far from the chapel.

Another thing I did today, which was moderately bad, was participate with the 'Twitter stake' while watching the second session today. It was quite the experience, and I know that I would never do it in church. I would never consider it at the priesthood session, but I was writing notes furiously. Of all the notes I took, there were a few that stuck out to me. Elder Uchtdorf's lightbulb story, and President Monson's talk on the three things to improve our spirituality. The biggest thing I have to improve on is scripture study.

It's not that I don't like to study the scriptures, I do. I have read the Book of Mormon countless times cover to cover, but I cannot say the same for the Bible. At this point in time, I dare say I have lost interest in reading the scriptures from beginning to end, and therefore take an approach of studying topics rather than reading straight. That being said, Elder Ucthdorf mentioned a story about Nehemiah that I had never heard. Perhaps I will start my scripture study with that.

One thing lead to another due to my Twittering during conference. Dory may be same and compact, but she does dissipate heat. I found that my lap was getting a bit warm, and I placed her on the granite slab which my in-laws have their wood stove resting on. The slab was about two inches thick, and Dory cooled down very quickly. This made me think of getting a smaller piece and making a lap desk. Wouldn't you know, my father-in-law had some scrap cuts just the right size! I'm using it right now, and Dory has barely heated up. Using marble would be ideal, but all the marble scraps that he has are really thick. This granite scrap is only 1/4" thick, so I can have it on my legs without crushing them.

The not-so-Incredibles

2009-03-18T22:56:00.001-06:00

All three of us were wearing our Incredibles shirts tonight, and at
first I thought it was quite appropo. We went and visited some
friends that we had not seen in a couple of months, and we had the
brilliant idea of getting them an entertainment unit. This unit was
being thrown out by another one of our friends, and we figured all
would work well.

Things were moving along swimmingly. The receivers had a van that we
could go and pick up the unit, and the givers had placed it outside on
their balcony, which was on the ground floor. Everything was coming
together.

Then we picked up the first piece, and I remembered why I was a little
hesitant about getting the unit. There were a few bugs, dead ones, on
the bottom of one of the pieces. I'm some were squashed, others
looked a little froze, but I couldn't tell if there were any eggs on
the unit. We wound up placing the lot by the nearby dumpster, and
resigned ourselves to the fact that we'll have to wait for garage sale
season. Or hunt on Kijiji.

Although I was feeling like a super hero at first, it didn't quite
finish off that way. Although I was careful to keep my left foot
under the seat. I learned the hard way that there is no clutch on an
automatic transmission vehicle. Stepping on the brake like you're
putting in the clutch tends to make the car go from 60 to zero real
quick!

Rini loves to play with other kids. After the not-so-successful trip,
we had a bit of a sit down and watched Rini and Tanner goof around.
Eventually they were just laughing back and forth, running around,
spinning around, and exibiting all the classic signs of sleep
drunkeness.

Sure enough, when we got her home, she just wanted to brush her teeth,
get into a sleeper, and go to bed. She is sleeping soundly now.

I need to be getting to bed too. Four shows in three days and the
first one in at 1pm tomorrow. Going to be a long day tomorrow!

All a twitter

2009-03-17T22:25:00.001-06:00

To those who read this on the blog, you will notice that I have added
a new widget on the left. This is the outlet for my twitter feed.
I've noticed that I've been spending more time on Facebook as of late,
and Twitter is able to update to both the blog and to facebook. I've
been updating the twitter feed much more often.

Then again, there's been some trouble with the wifi on iPaq, and I was
a bit against the idea of doing blog posts. Turns out all it needed
was a reboot, and it fired up like new.

Plus, over the past couple months, I have devoted quite a bit of time
to reading. I just recently finished, "Day of the Triffids." Super
creepy book. Highly recommended. It did take me quite a while to
read, and there was some parts that were quite long and not all that
interesting. The scary thing is that what survival is like! There is
a whole lot of time when the only thing you are concerned about is
staying alive. And what would happen if you were the last person left
on earth? It would get insanely quiet and lonely. I was especially
pleased with the ending, which I didn't entirely see coming.

After reading this, I wonder if I would be able to finish reading Lord
of the Rings. The biggest problem I had reading The Two Towers was
when I got to the second half which is JUST Frodo, Sam, and Golem. I
was bored to tears. I set it down, and that was about five years ago.

Rini is getting extrodinarily big. She's nearly 25 months old, and
she's nearly 92cm (3') tall! The other thing that shocks me every day
is how much more she is talking. We are much more vigilant about what
we watch on TV because she is picking up on everything.

Her favourite DVD was once her Ni hao Kai-Lan collection, but she's
started to branch out into the Pixar movies. She loved WallE to the
point that the DVD was scratched up really good, and I had to get it
resurfaced. She has figured out how to open up DVD cases, pop out
DVDs, and she also carries the discs properly with one finger through
the hole. But she still holds it like a plate every now and again.

The funny thing is that I don't feel like it's been a long time since
I've written anything, because I've been writing a letter to Tristan
every week for the past... Eight months. That has a good summary of
the week, yet I never post it on the blog, because for some odd reason
I think that there are somethings too personal to post on the blog.

Might also be the fact that I keep writing him all the Redneck jokes.
Don't know if Jeff Foxworthy would sue me for doing that.

Bloody good time

2009-02-23T23:25:00.002-07:00

Not to be taken in the English sense, I could say that our FHE tonight was a bloody good time. Or a blood product good time. Doesn't quite sound the same does it? We went to the Canadian Blood Services clinic on the University campus, and it had been a couple months since I last donated, and close to eight months since I last donated plasma. It was a combination of blind ambition and stupidity that prevented me from donating for quite some time, because I had the goal to reach 50 donations by the time I was thirty. Well, I did it, but then my arms hurt so bad because I was picking up Rini after donations, and my blood vessels weren't healing properly. I didn't have a close up of what they looked like, but I will warrant a guess that the camera would have done a CGI zoom into my body had I been the star of an episode of House, just so you could see just how poorly my body was attempting to repair itself.

Rini had a bit of a time getting used to the fact that Mommy and Daddy were not going to be sitting with her the entire time, but she was fine after we changed her diaper. Funny how that works sometimes. That little girl is going to be two years old as of twenty minutes past noon tomorrow. I know that I want her to fifteen years older now so she can donate blood too, but I'll worry about that when the time comes around. For the moment, she loves the food and sitting in the comfy chairs! It was rather cute how she would sit in the chair beside me as I was finishing up with my phlebotomy.

Wasn't the most structured FHE, but we did open with a prayer, sort of. We said a prayer before we left for the clinic. Mind we didn't do any gospel lesson attached to blood donation. Although it is an act of service, since blood donation is strictly a voluntary basis. Literally giving of yourself so that others can live a healthy life. I would think that would be the best kind of service there is, and in order to participate in such service, you have to keep yourself in a state that qualifies you to donate. First, you have to be in good health. You can't donate if your blood is going to make the other person sick. Or dead. Too many white blood cells and antibodies can do that. Second, they have to be sure that you don't have any diseases that can be carried by blood such as STDs or malaria. That's not to say that you can't travel internationally, just be careful. You also have to have a healthy blood pressure, or else they are going to have to question the quality of the blood vessels.

Service would be the best kind of lesson to teach our children. Even if it's something as simple as getting a 16 gauge needle in your arm and staying still for half and hour. Less if you're donating blood.

Still can't believe that little girl is going to be two years old tomorrow! Fifteen years, and she'll be able to donate. Yeesh! I'll be forty-five! That's a bit of a start. And Caitlin and I would have just celebrated our twentieth wedding anniversary!

I better start planning!

Behind Schedule

2009-02-09T23:24:00.001-07:00

Yes, I know I said that we would have the comic up and running by now.
One little glitch came up. Web hosting. I couldn't decide whether I
want to have it hosted by Comic Genesis, try to do something
independent, or publish it under another blog. I'm leaning towards
the first, thinking about the second, and just put the third one in
there because I know that it's a viable option. Not the first, but
rather the last option.

A friend of mine told to investigate htmlgoodies.com to get a bit more
prep in writing webpages, and I have yet to check it out. Funny, I
investigate all sorts of other weird things, like the fact there will
be a total solar eclipse on 21 Aug 2017 that will reach it's peak for
2m10s roughly where Missouri and Kentucy intersect, but I don't bother
checking out something that might be educational!

Rini is getting more and more articulate, and bigger too! We measured
her tonight, and she stands 89cm. For the metrically challenged, that
would be about half an inch under 3'. This little girl isn't so
little anymore! She's got height on both sides of her family, and
she'll need it if she wants to keep up with her cousins! I don't know
how tall Ben or Savanah are right now, and now that I think about it,
Savanah must be walking by now! This April trip is going to be quite
the eye opener!

Caitlin is thinking of going as Bigby and Snow White for CCE Expo, but
I'm still holding out for Bob and Dot. GAVIN BLAIR IS GOING TO BE
THERE! Maybe we could do the Reboot thing one day, and then do the
Fables thing the next. Last year we did Girl Genius the first day and
The Incredibles the next. Well, the later wasn't that hard to pull
off since we just wore black pants and our T-shirts. Still made us
stand out in Jennie Bradden's picture gallery.

The convention costumes are on the back burner right now, because
Caitlin is busy with articles for "The Emperor's New Clothes."
Curtain is going up in less than two months, so we need to hit the
grindstone hard in terms of logistical preparations. That reminds me,
we need to get a copy of the script and rehearsal schedule to Morgan.
I wonder if we would be able to lift Drew... Hmmm... That would be
AWESOME! I think this production is going to be all flavours of
awesomesauce. Hee hee.

Takes the mickey out of you

2009-01-14T23:09:00.001-07:00

Rini had a touch of illness today. Caitlin was a little concerned
when she woke up late, because usually wakes her up a couple hours
after I leave.

According to Caitlin, Rini was rather listless today. Twice she fell
asleep in her arms, and Rini went to sleep at 7:15p. Seeing that she
got up sometime around 11am, and she didn't nap much today, that
little girl had quite the recovery day today!

You would think that Caitlin and I would have used the free time to
ourselves to do something outlandish and crazy that we can't do when
she's awake! I got out the dictionaries.

Yeah, we live on the wild side. Crickey I'm old.

Comic update: We have three story comics and one sketch fully inked
and ready to go. The fourth story comic has been scripted and Caitlin
is working on the penciling right now. Right now. I'm typing and
she's drawing. It's an interesting combonation. Usually she's
reading and I'm writing.

Things balance quite well with me doing most of the writing, and
Caitlin doing the artwork. We both have ideas on what to do with the
characters, but we're just taking it a step at a time. We know the
stories that we want to cover in time, and they will be addressed.
But you can only fit so much into one comic, and we've found that less
is more when it comes to text.

The creative process leaves you a little drained though. After
plotting out the comics, I find that I'm almost at a loss on where to
go next. That being said, I don't think that we would have been able
to get as far as we have if I wasn't pushing Caitlin as hard as I
have. Mind, I also have to push myself, or else nothing gets done.

The secret of life. "Just keep swimming..."

Unlike Hollywood, this really is coming soon

2009-01-08T23:24:00.001-07:00

Caitlin is penciling out the first comic for our webcomic. We have
had to goal to get this underway for some time now, and last summer we
even had a good chunk of story written, and a number of strips planned
out. This came to a halt when a) we lost our internet connection, and
b) I lost the binder. We still have the original character sketches
that Caitlin drew up last year, and those have been very useful in the
planning. We still have the same ideas in mind, but we've decided to
start from a different point. Instead of starting right at the
beginning of the story, we're going to start a little ways in, and
then have flashbacks. We can make it just one image, or we can make a
series of strips out of it. The main thing is that we won't be stuck
in it, it will just be a side story to complement the main story.

It makes sense to me.

I'm going to submit the comic to Comic Genesis as soon as Caitlin gets
it inked. I don't know how long the turn around time is for this, but
I'm thinking that sooner is better than later. Maybe I'm just eager
to start something new, or I'm just tired of thinking that 'someday'
we'll do this.

Caitlin and I thought that the best update schedule for the moment
would be sketch Mondays and canon Fridays. It moves it pretty slowly,
hence we are going to have to pack as much story as we can in each
one. I would prefer that the comic does the story telling rather than
having an illustration to complement a novel page. It works for some
people, and I'm not saying that it's bad. Who knows, maybe we'll try
it later. For now, we want it to be pretty straight up.

The other thing that we're trying to figure out is a name. We're
pretty certain but we'll be circulating some ideas to people.

Stay tuned for more details!

Oh and Rini is getting more and more defiant. We have to be a bit
more patient with her, but we've also discovered a few ways to get her
to eat healthy. First, don't give her snacks before meal times.
Second, if you don't want her to drink juice, don't drink it yourself.
We all need to drink more water, and if she sees you drinking water,
then she's fine with it. Especially if you drink it from a Nalgene
container. I have no idea why that works, but communal drinking seems
to be fine with her. I know I don't have meningitis, and neither does
she.

Rini's second Christmas

2008-12-24T23:24:00.002-07:00

Last year was Rini's first Christmas, and there were all sorts of wonderful things that happened. The only glitch is that I doubt Rini remembers any of it. Goodness, I barely remember it. I'll just to go back to last years blog and see what I wrote. Hopefully something!

This year we tried to do a little bit of a family christmas thing. I know that it's only Christmas Eve, but before we headed out chez Tolley, we opened up the presents that we got from Grammie and Grandpa Clark (my parents). They are going to be visiting Grandma tomorrow, but I don't know if we would be able to drop by for a visit of sorts. We'll have to play it by ear.

It a drastic departure, this year the Christmas PJ's were cropped pants and knee socks! There were also T-shirts, but the socks were blue and black stripes, and the shirts blue with black cropped pants. For all the grandkids, they all fit like pants, if they fit. It's kind of weird to have solid colours. I'm used to the zany prints that always befit the crazy Tolley clan. This year, solid colour, but the socks are new. Crazy didn't let me down!

Rini might have discovered a new favourite toy with one of the presents from Grammie and Grandpa! There was a felt flower that she absolutely loves. She even dropped her bunny to play with it, and that's saying something! For the six months that she's had that bunny they have pretty much been inseparable.

I've also learned that Rini is kind of funny when it comes to watching movies. Granted, she just turned 22 months today, but she only likes movies that are really cute. She LOVES Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit, but of that movie, she only likes the part with the little bunnies. She also likes the DVD game, but she runs around and plays while the movie runs for the more part, as she did today when we watched "Horton Hears A Who." Funny funny movie, really cute, lots of smart comedy, good physical comedy, but could not hold Rini's attention. What a goof!

She was quite the character while taking the family pictures, and at first she didn't want to lie down on the ottoman, but when she saw her cousins doing it, we couldn't get her off! We got some really cute pictures, but I'll have to post them later. We'll get the pictures emailed to us, probably before the new year, and I'll be able to do something with them then.

Should be for a wonderful day tomorrow!

Also, it's much safer to drive Elene now. All we had to do was open up the Fresh air vents and most of the moisture in the car was able to equalize with the air outside. Who knew?

Simple things in life

2008-12-22T23:11:00.001-07:00

Today, after a crazy day at work that made me realize I need to take
my meds, we went to get some Christmas shopping done. It wasn't that
busy, and we actually found quite a few good things. Mind, Rini and I
had a good time playing in the store. We went up and down the
escalator about a dozen times, and she was getting quite good at
getting on and off without tripping or falling over. I also taught
her to keep both feet in the middle of the step. Simple things, and
I'm sure she won't remember this, but I hope she remembers that I
spent time with her, even if we just went up and down the escalator
loads of times.

I actually got the idea from 'One Fine Day.' George Clooney: "Don't
worry about them, they're on the escalators." And that's what the kids
did! They went up and down the escalators throughout the entire
scene! What are the odds that my daughter acts just like kids in
movies?

On second thought, the chances are pretty good.

The other frightening thing I realized is that I haven't given much
thought towards presents for my parents, sisters, or grandmother! I'm
horrible! And running out of money. Caitlin mentioned that my
parents celebrate Ukranian Christmas, which is on 6 January. So we're
covered, plus I'll have my first paycheck of the new year by then. I
have no idea if we are going to get a Christmas bonus, but judging
from the outstanding accounts that we have in front of us, I would say
that I'll be lucky if I still have a job in the new year!

Ha ha! No, I am seriously freaked out of my tree. Hence the meds.

Winter adventuring in Minus Hell Frozen Over temperatures

2008-12-21T23:09:00.001-07:00

You would think that cold weather and snow would be the ideal
conditions for some winter playtime. And if the temperatures still
confused Americans, you would be right. But when you get down close
to MINUS FORTY, it's quite safe to say that it's much to cold to do
much of anything except complain about how cold it is.

But we did manage to brave the cold for a little while to go to a
nearby park. I never realized how fast slides are once they freeze.
Rini learned that when she went down the spiral slide the first time.
Good thing Caitlin was at the bottom, because Rini practically flew
off the slide! I was a bit more fool hearty and I went down the
'bumpy' slide. The first drop was fast, second was quicker, and the
third drop I hovered above the slide until I got to the bottom. I
then stumbled to catch my footing and after three wild steps, I did a
faceplant. Caitlin still laughs whenever she thinks about it.

My only regret is that we didn't take any pictures.